knopfler1 Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 Hello everyone, me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 months, she has sometimes immature attitudes and sometimes does not know what he wants but is a great person and I love her. At the beginning of the relationship she put these excuses 1-We are of different social class, she always reminded me of this, I say that social class does not matter but she insists that the fact that she is not in the same class as me will make things not work between her and me. 2-She was born in another city, but at age 11 she came to live in my city but she warned me before we became a couple that she will return to her hometown in two years when she finishes school, she wants to live with her mother and brothers who live in that city. Her mother abandoned and left her with her father when she was 11 years old. Some times she changed her mind and made me see that she would fight for our relationship no matter what and that she would stay in my city. 3-often told me that she does not to want to get hurt and does not want me to fall in love with her because if this happens it will make things more difficult when she goes Well, this is the important part, two weeks ago she went to her hometown for just two weeks to take care of her mother who had surgery of the spine, the day before she would go we were supposed to see each other, but she went and never said goodbye. With this fact I knew there was something wrong going on here. A week passed and I had no news from her, I tried to call her to her cellphone and there was no signal so I sent her an email, it was the only way to contact her. She responded the same day that i sent her the email and she said that she was fine and that she hoped i was fine too, she told me that she didn't contacted me because she thought I was still angry that she didn't say goodbye to me and that had not contacted me because her cellphone had no signal in her city but she told me that she would tell me the date that would come back from her city . When I saw the email I thought things were normal. After this a week passed and again, I had no news from her until wednesday that I saw that she was online on whatsapp and I said to my self: Maybe she returned from her trip, and she never told me about this. On the night I contacted her through whatsapp and asked her what was going on and she told me that she arrived that day from her trip and that she didn't told me because now that she saw her mom who lives there she is determined to go to live with her in not so much time and that demotivated her from the relationship that she and I have, thats why she didn't told me when she would come back, she is very determined that in a few months she will go. Then after this she told me that she wants to see me in person because what she is telling me is hard and that she would like to see me if I like. She also told that I am very special for her. This was on tuesday but yesterday in the morning she sends me this text message that says: Have a nice day!!!, I have exams this week but I can see you next week and I was like what the hell why she keeps sending me text messages if she already broke up with me. So I thought that maybe she wants to break with me in person. No the question is: I haven't seen her in 3 weeks,this helped me a lot to get to emotionally detach from this, I do not feel depressed with the breakup, I actually feel good. Would it be convenient to see her in person or should I tell her that we just should leave things like this and go No Contact?, I know that if i see her I will feel very sad and confused???. She is telling me that she wants to see me to talk things. If I want to get her back should I go No contact or low contact?
GMG90 Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 If I were you, I would never want to see her again. You said it yourself that you'd feel sad and confused if you saw her. You wouldn't want to steer your life into turbulent weather... Honestly, I don't think she knows what she wants. Sounds like she wants a relationship but isn't quite sure, then she breaks up with you and feels like she can remain close friends?... I think we all know that's virtually impossible, but that's what I'm picking up from your post. Well, if you want her back then go back to full contact.
CompleteFailure Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 the question is: I haven't seen her in 3 weeks,this helped me a lot to get to emotionally detach from this, I do not feel depressed with the breakup, I actually feel good. Would it be convenient to see her in person or should I tell her that we just should leave things like this and go No Contact?, I know that if i see her I will feel very sad and confused???. She is telling me that she wants to see me to talk things. If I want to get her back should I go No contact or low contact? If you are feeling good about the breakup, why bother with any of her demands. If you don't want to see her in person than don't. NC/LC probably won't get someone back on its own. There's more to it like your situation, how the two of you interact/feel about each other, where the both of you are in the relationship etc...
Author knopfler1 Posted April 14, 2013 Author Posted April 14, 2013 I miss her a lot, we had a good relationship, loving, caring , honest. I do not know if it will be good to see her again
KraftDinner Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 You say you feel good but the title of this thread says your life is over. Which one is it?
Author knopfler1 Posted April 14, 2013 Author Posted April 14, 2013 (edited) the first two days I didn't feel that bad but since then I really miss her and I am depressed. What happens is that I wrote this post a few days ago and posted it in another love forum. But yesterday it was when I decided to post it here, when I wrote the post i didn't felt that bad but when the days started to pass I started to miss her more and think of her. Edited April 14, 2013 by knopfler1
CompleteFailure Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 It doesn't sound like her wanting to see you in person to talk is going to get you two back together. I don't think NC/LC is going to change her situation. If you want to see her to get closure or try to work things out, go for it. Just know that you'll be risking any progress you've made in the mean time and you could possibly even feel worse after.
Author knopfler1 Posted April 15, 2013 Author Posted April 15, 2013 She started calling me today but I decided not to answer the phone. I am sure she wants to see me in person to break up with me. She told me last week that she was busy because had exams and that she couldn't see me but that she would see me this week to make closure. I don't want to see her in person, that will make me feel bad and sad.
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