terriana Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Hi, I'm Terriana, this is my first time to the boards. I have read through some of the older threads, but I didn't see anything quite like what I am experiencing, and am looking for some advice. So my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We live together, but he hasn't proposed, and I'm not sure if he ever will, although he says that he wants to get married and have kids "someday." He is 38, and I am 31, so the clock is ticking for both of us if we want to start a family. (I'm really not interested in being pregnant in my late 30s, early 40s, etc...) Every time I try to approach the subject, he gets upset like I am trying to pressure him into the decision. I might be unconsciously, but the reality is, I need him to either get moving on it, or get moving out. One of the huge issues is that his family isn't very nice to me. His mother is a doll, so kind hearted, and wonderful, but the rest of his family treats me like garbage. I find myself avoiding family get-togethers for this very reason. BF will frequently lie and tell them that I am "sick" when the reality is, I just don't want to be disrespected. His sister in law, who has only been around for two years (compared to my four, not that it matters) is especially rude - frequently making snide comments, making every conversation about her, purposefully not including my name on cards when she mails them to us (we've lived together for 3 years, why wouldn't you include my name on something you mail to us?) and is just generally an unpleasant person. BF will not stand up for me, or defend me. It is sickening. I am aware that I am a demanding person, can be dependent on him, and can be annoying, but I make him a priority in my life. I have told my family that he is very important to me, and even if they don't always care for him, they treat him with respect and welcome him in our family. His family doesn't do that for me, and it is very painful. I have always bonded with boyfriend's parents, so this is a first for me. I have never been married, and neither has he. I guess what I am trying to ask is, if he ever proposed to me, would any of this change? I think I already know the answer (no) but I am wondering if anyone else would out there has gone through a similar situation with in-laws or future-in-laws. I really love him, but I can't be treated like crap all the time by the family whose last name I would take. Thanks, Terriana
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