Mayfare Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 Well I for one end things when I want them ended. I'm not about to stay in a relationship until he decides he's ready to hear me say "it's over". If he is going to ignore me when I'm trying to talk to him like a mature adult, then he'll have to settle for my little text message! At that point, the fact that he had to be broken up with in a text message is a reflection on him, not me. But anyway, I think this BU could definitely be used as a learning experience (as all breakups should be!). While single, work on being you. That means being happy as a GDI! Reflect on the things that Mack is suggesting would have contributed to driving him away, and don't do them again haha. You can't change the past. The BU happened because of two people, not just him and not just you. Change what you can (what you contributed to the BU), accept what you cannot (what he contributed to the BU). I hope I didn't ruffle too many feathers here
Star Gazer Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 For the first time tonight we agree it doesn't matter... This matters... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/384445-my-life-over-i-think-i-am-getting-dumped If you think this is the thought process of an emotionally healthy person I would have to seriously question your judgement. All I want to do is open IB eye's to this fact. This guy and this relationship are no longer important. Her future is.... I never said she's emotionally healthy, and she knows she isn't. She's hurting. You're not helping. You're kicking her when she's down. It's time to stop being so sadistic and move on.
miss_jaclynrae Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 Ok well new subject kind of. What do I do now? I'm so sad because I liked him a lot and now idk I feel like I need to not date for a little while but how long? And when I'm ready what do I do? Online date? I feel like Ohio doesn't have much to offer anymore I mean idk I'm just lost You get off online dating. You go do stuff. I am currently hanging out at starbucks... *shocker* ALONE. Being alone is fun. GO get dressed up and strut your stuff. Get all hot and go somewhere. Browse the mall, grab a drink and some grub somewhere, pick up a hobby, like reading. Go to bookstores, find something you love to do and pursue it. I didn't meet my current guy on purpose, I was reading alone at the B&N starbucks and he approached me. Start doing things alone with confidence and men will just be drawn to you. Not to mention you will meet them in places where you have something in common. Go have fun. ALONE. Learn to love being you and let the men notice THAT, instead of a picture on an online profile.
Mack05 Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 I never said she's emotionally healthy, and she knows she isn't. She's hurting. You're not helping. You're kicking her when she's down. It's time to stop being so sadistic and move on. Sadistic? Slight exaggeration methinks. OP the last thing you need to do right now is date. You need to work on yourself and that can only be done outside the confines of a relationship..When you are truly happy inside you attract the right kind of partner. That is what you need to focus on. 1
Mayfare Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 (edited) Also I would like to say that I would consider myself a pretty emotionally healthy person, but I was thrown for a loop when my relationship ended! I didn't necessarily think "my life is over", but I definitely had feelings that my life lost meaning. I lost motivation for everything. How you are immediately after a BU isn't very indicative of your overall mental health. You can't look at someone at their absolute worst and judge them as a whole person. This isn't Pleasantville and we're entitled to be down once in a while. The key is to pick yourself back up and move on, which is what we're here to help with. WHAT YOU DO NOW: spend a LOT of time with friends. Spending too much time alone right way will just get you thinking about the BU over and over. You don't need to think too much right now lol. Spend time with friends to help "fill the void", and when you feel less empty you can ease into more alone time. That's what I did anyway. I was VERY uncomfortable with alone time at first, but now I cherish it. I built up a support system with my friends immediately, and then eased into time alone/reflection. I listened to music that made me feel like a million bucks, not that depressing breakup crap. I went out. I worked out. And when I was ready, I bummed around the house by myself and pampered/accepted that I'm freaking awesome person. Edited April 14, 2013 by Mayfare
KatZee Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 I didn't meet my current guy on purpose, I was reading alone at the B&N starbucks and he approached me. I'm totally stealing this idea and doing this next weekend! Maybe someone will approach me
LoveB86 Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 I'm totally stealing this idea and doing this next weekend! Maybe someone will approach me same here. I already got my outfit planned out . am serious
Mack05 Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 The strategy gotten from Miss J, that LoveB86/Katzee are going to use will work. It's simply just a matter of when..My point is don't be discouraged if the first few times don't work. It will in the end. I'm sure of it..
Star Gazer Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 Also I would like to say that I would consider myself a pretty emotionally healthy person, but I was thrown for a loop when my relationship ended! I didn't necessarily think "my life is over", but I definitely had feelings that my life lost meaning. I lost motivation for everything. How you are immediately after a BU isn't very indicative of your overall mental health. You can't look at someone at their absolute worst and judge them as a whole person. This isn't Pleasantville and we're entitled to be down once in a while. The key is to pick yourself back up and move on, which is what we're here to help with. Totally, 100% agree. WHAT YOU DO NOW: spend a LOT of time with friends. Spending too much time alone right way will just get you thinking about the BU over and over. You don't need to think too much right now lol. Spend time with friends to help "fill the void", and when you feel less empty you can ease into more alone time. That's what I did anyway. I was VERY uncomfortable with alone time at first, but now I cherish it. I built up a support system with my friends immediately, and then eased into time alone/reflection. I listened to music that made me feel like a million bucks, not that depressing breakup crap. I went out. I worked out. And when I was ready, I bummed around the house by myself and pampered/accepted that I'm freaking awesome person. Once you get there, the rest is really gravy!
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