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I ended it... worst feeling ever.

ImperfectionisBeauty

By ImperfectionisBeauty
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Mack05 Established Member

Mack05

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To appease you Star gazer, I had a brief skip through of the OP's thread in the dating section. I will be lashed out it for saying this but this broad is emotionally all over the place. Her perceptions on life, dating, relationships are on another level to 'healthy'. The first thing that came into my head when reading her posts about this guy, was that she is a stage 5 clinger ->

 

OP unless you learn to seriously step back and calm down, you will drive every guy that likes you away. You are scary...Seriously..This is a guys opinion. Try to take it on board.

 

We can go back and forth about whether she should have sent the text. My stance won't change but I do see all your points to be honest. The harsh truth is the OP has far bigger problems to deal with..If I were him I'd run and i'd never look back..

 

OP try buy and read some books on 'emotionally maturity'..I hate to be harsh but I can't sugar coat here. I see exactly why he is leaving. The only thing he is doing wrong is not leaving with a bit of class and compassion for you. For sure the OP deserves to be respected more, but I see clearly why he wants to move on. Sorry if that is harsh..

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Mayfare Member

Mayfare

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@Mack- Part of emotional maturity is sensitivity and empathy, which you seem to be lacking in this particular case lol.

 

@Imperfection- you're going to be bummed for a while and then you'll just be angry. Be happy you didn't waste more than a few months with this guy. And if the above comment is upsetting in any way, know that you should be with someone that brings out the best in you. If he was the right one, you wouldn't be "emotionally all over the place" because you would have been treated better.

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Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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@Mack- Part of emotional maturity is sensitivity and empathy, which you seem to be lacking in this particular case lol.

 

Amen! Couldn't have said it better.

tbf Established Member

tbf

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I'll have to agree with Mack. Using a text to end it is redundant since his refusal to express his stance, already said it all. In sending a text, it's a last ditch effort to get his attention. It's pretty transparent.

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Mack05 Established Member

Mack05

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@Mack- Part of emotional maturity is sensitivity and empathy, which you seem to be lacking in this particular case lol.

 

Your entitled to your opinion. OP will get plenty empathy and sensitivity from other posters. On this site I sometimes give tough love. If that makes me emotionally immature in your eyes then guilty as charged.

 

My family and friends have given me tough love in the past (when it was needed). I guess that makes them emotionally immature. Despite the fact they are most level headed, caring, loving people that you could possibly hope to meet..

 

That dating thread (and subsequent posts) the OP posted.....as a guy that would make me run a mile. Am I wrong to express an opinion just because it's negative?

Edited by Mack05
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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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Wow, it couldn't have been any clearer that he was done with this "relationship" based on his responses to you. "I'm at a game." And then doesn't even bother getting back to you.

 

He's a coward; as are most people these days. I really don't see the issue with you doing it by text. He doesn't really deserve any respect for the way he was acting towards you.

 

At least now there is no grey area here. Since you ended it, it's done.

 

Did he even respond at all? Or did he ignore that text as well?

 

He just ignored it.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Am I wrong to express an opinion just because it's negative?

 

If I were you, I'd post opinions you think will help the OP or make her feel better. Yours will not. I'm not sure why you are continuing to harp. Move on.

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Mack05 Established Member

Mack05

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OP buy some books on low self esteem and emotional maturity. I would also recommend the book 'the power of now'. I would stick with the therapy too.

 

Unless you understand why you drove him away you will continue to make the same mistakes..

miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

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Good on you.

 

 

 

Now go do something fun for yourself!

A mani pedi shopping day always makes me feel better!

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suladas Established Member

suladas

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He just ignored it.

 

I still think it was a good thing to do. Take some time to work on yourself and find someone new who will appreciate you. And take this as a lesson that a failed relationship is not the end of the world, it's just a new beginning :)

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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I'll have to agree with Mack. Using a text to end it is redundant since his refusal to express his stance, already said it all. In sending a text, it's a last ditch effort to get his attention. It's pretty transparent.

 

He and I talked yesterday and he pretty much said "I'm moving out here and idk how we would work I am trying to figure it out". I asked to talk on the phone about it, he is at the game. I am kind of proud about it. He left me up in the air and I ended it

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miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

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I still think it was a good thing to do. Take some time to work on yourself and find someone new who will appreciate you. And take this as a lesson that a failed relationship is not the end of the world, it's just a new beginning :)

 

I really think it was good for HER to do it because it gives a finality to it, which IB needed.

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Mack05 Established Member

Mack05

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If I were you, I'd post opinions you think will help the OP or make her feel better. Yours will not. I'm not sure why you are continuing to harp. Move on.

 

So I just sugarcoat for her/your benefit? "Everything will be ok Imperfection". "He is a douche imperfection"..I would love to know how that helps...

 

I will leave you sugarcoat her Gazer of the Stars. I have made my suggestions in my last post. When the OP is still here in two years, still posting the same stuff about another guy what then? More sugarcoating? Cause unless she makes drastic changes to herself that is EXACTLY what is going to happen..

suladas Established Member

suladas

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So I just sugarcoat for her/your benefit? "Everything will be ok Imperfection". "He is a douche imperfection"..I would love to know how that helps...

 

I will leave you sugarcoat her Gazer of the Stars. I have made my suggestions in my last post. When the OP is still here in two years, still posting the same stuff about another guy what then? More sugarcoating? Cause unless she makes drastic changes to herself that is EXACTLY what is going to happen..

 

You don't get it at all.....

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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So I just sugarcoat for her/your benefit? "Everything will be ok Imperfection". "He is a douche imperfection"..I would love to know how that helps...

 

I will leave you sugarcoat her Gazer of the Stars. I have made my suggestions in my last post. When the OP is still here in two years, still posting the same stuff about another guy what then? More sugarcoating? Cause unless she makes drastic changes to herself that is EXACTLY what is going to happen..

 

I get it, I know I have a lot of work to do, you don't have to keep saying it believe me I heard it in the other post enough.

Mack05 Established Member

Mack05

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You don't get it at all.....

 

I do actually...how will we know who is right? I bet you ANYTHING in 9-18 months time OP will be here on LS posting about another guy not having learnt a thing..She needs to understand her current behaviours and mindsets will drive guys away. That is a cast iron fact.

 

You guys are like financial advisors to a clueless rich person whose money is going down the drain. Using positive jargon to hide whats really happening behind the scenes. This isn't about her ex anymore. She can get 100's of posters telling her how much of a douche he is. Great but what has imperfection learnt?

 

I'm telling her as a guy, reading her posts on the other threads scared me. I then gave her advice on what I feel she needs to do about it. It is entirely up to her what she wants to do with that advice. She has other posters to help her with her broken heart..

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miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

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I do actually...how will we know who is right? I bet you ANYTHING in 9-18 months time OP will be here on LS posting about another guy not having learnt a thing..She needs to understand her current behaviours and mindsets will drive guys away. That is a cast iron fact.

 

You guys are like financial advisors to a clueless rich person whose money is going down the drain. Using positive jargon to hide whats really happening behind the scenes. This isn't about her ex anymore. She can get 100's of posters telling her how much of a douche he is. Great but what has imperfection learnt?

 

I'm telling her as a guy, reading her posts on the other threads scared me. I then gave her advice on what I feel she needs to do about it. It is entirely up to her what she wants to do with that. She has other posters to help her with her broken heart..

 

For most people, YES, just moving on would be the best route. That is what I would do, but it is IB, so the text thing was necessary for HER own well being.

Mack05 Established Member

Mack05

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For most people, YES, just moving on would be the best route. That is what I would do, but it is IB, so the text thing was necessary for HER own well being.

 

The text was sent as a last ditch attempt to get him to notice her. If he came back and said "sorry babe can we try again" what do you think imperfection would do?

 

Her own well being resolves around a lot more then a text and her ex..

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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The text was sent as a last ditch attempt to get him to notice her.

 

I disagree. But assuming arguendo it was, does it matter? She got the answer she needed, she closed the door that needed to be shut. At the end of the day, it was the right thing FOR HER.

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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The text was sent as a last ditch attempt to get him to notice her. If he came back and said "sorry babe can we try again" what do you think imperfection would do?

 

Her own well being resolves around a lot more then a text and her ex..

 

Ok thanks you're done. I'm sorry but unless you have followed all my postings over the last few months you would understand better. If he texted me and wanted to try again... Idk I don't want to feel like this again

miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

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The text was sent as a last ditch attempt to get him to notice her. If he came back and said "sorry babe can we try again" what do you think imperfection would do?

 

Her own well being resolves around a lot more then a text and her ex..

 

She probably would, but I think since we all sorta knew it was over we are just glad she won't be posting about him anymore. :laugh:

 

 

I am not arguing your logic, I am just saying that IB doesn't work that way.

It may not be GOOD, but for OUR sake I am glad to see that this charade is over.

 

 

 

[even though I am in no way convinced that won't happen]

Mack05 Established Member

Mack05

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I disagree. But assuming arguendo it was, does it matter? She got the answer she needed, she closed the door that needed to be shut. At the end of the day, it was the right thing FOR HER.

 

For the first time tonight we agree it doesn't matter...

 

This matters...

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/384445-my-life-over-i-think-i-am-getting-dumped

 

If you think this is the thought process of an emotionally healthy person I would have to seriously question your judgement.

 

All I want to do is open IB eye's to this fact. This guy and this relationship are no longer important. Her future is....

tbf Established Member

tbf

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I do actually...how will we know who is right? I bet you ANYTHING in 9-18 months time OP will be here on LS posting about another guy not having learnt a thing..She needs to understand her current behaviours and mindsets will drive guys away. That is a cast iron fact.

 

You guys are like financial advisors to a clueless rich person whose money is going down the drain. Using positive jargon to hide whats really happening behind the scenes. This isn't about her ex anymore. She can get 100's of posters telling her how much of a douche he is. Great but what has imperfection learnt?

 

I'm telling her as a guy, reading her posts on the other threads scared me. I then gave her advice on what I feel she needs to do about it. It is entirely up to her what she wants to do with that advice. She has other posters to help her with her broken heart..

Mack, while I agree with you, it's time to back off. She's hurting right now and needs some sympathy. It's too raw to discuss in any terms that will sink in right now, since she's someone who's fueled by emotion.

 

Possibly later, when her pain isn't so raw, we can unroll the events and pinpoint areas of improvement. But maybe not. Different people are reactive to different stimuli. You're solutions and conclusions oriented. IIB is all about Feelings.

Mack05 Established Member

Mack05

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Mack, while I agree with you, it's time to back off. She's hurting right now and needs some sympathy. It's too raw to discuss in any terms that will sink in right now, since she's someone who's fueled by emotion.

 

Possibly later, when her pain isn't so raw, we can unroll the events and pinpoint areas of improvement. But maybe not. Different people are reactive to different stimuli. You're solutions and conclusions oriented. IIB is all about Feelings.

 

I can do that...Great post

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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Ok well new subject kind of. What do I do now? I'm so sad because I liked him a lot and now idk I feel like I need to not date for a little while but how long? And when I'm ready what do I do? Online date? I feel like Ohio doesn't have much to offer anymore I mean idk I'm just lost

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