Revolver Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 The same way being bad and distant yields better results in dating for men
KatZee Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 I tell men straight out: "thank you, im flattered. But im not interested in a relationship." As you, the truth comes out when the majority of men reply: "well I just wanted to know if you wanted to hang out", and they sit there creepily staring at my chest waiting for my reply AGAIN to their offer. I know what "hang out" means. I'm 37, I don't "hang out". I either accept a date to see if there is potential for a future monogamous relationship, or I say no and masturbate lol. I do NOT just have sex with dates or "hang out" friends... My issue is when these guys REFUSE to take my polite denials. They repeatedly come back to my work and try to hang around hoping ill notice them. It freaks me out and turns me off completely because it puts me in such a bad position. I'm AT WORK, this isn't social hour. When I tell them that they whine: "but you won't give me your number so how can I meet you otherwise?" No **** Sherlock, I didn't give you my number because as I says the FIRST time: I'm not interested. In this manner I'm backed into a corner where I HAVE to be a bitch to send the message because my polite denials are ignored. Yep. Likewise. Exact same situation with me. The second I became single I had guys knocking down my door trying to get me to go on dates with them. Instead of jumping to a new guy, which I would have done in the past, I've taken these past 11 months to really focus on myself. Be utterly and truly single. I don't lead people on, or act like a "bitch" but I'm definitely seeing how my independent attitude is luring more guys than repelling them. I have guys in my life currently who have asked me out on date(s) and I've politely declined, stating very valid and truthful reasons. I'm really not ready to date, I'm taking this time for myself, I'm flattered, etc. Like you, one of the guys is a coworker. After I told him where I was at in life and how I wanted to be single and keep our relationships professional, he said, "Now I need a new job so I can ask you out again." O_O There's also this other guy who has asked me out I can't even tell you how many times. We don't even hang out or really talk all that much, but some of his words have been, "I'm making it my mission to take you out on a date." "Aren't you lonely? Don't you have the urge for sex? We should just do it. It's not like we don't know each other." "I like that you're so feisty and you know what you want. It's a huge turn on." I've put ^^ that kid in his place a few times because his comments border on completely inappropriate. And it's like these guys LIKE this so called "chasing game" when in fact IT'S NOT A GAME AT ALL. I'm saying NO and guys some how see "no" as meaning I'm playing hard to get???? :confused: 2
Tacoma360 Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 I have no qualms with doing things smart, And I do understand everyone has his own way of dealing with themselves and their situations but I just believe being honest is still the best way to go. I admit I am an emotional wreck but if I am not ready then I am not ready to meet that guy who will accept me without pretentiousness. Being a "bitch" in your definition is something you cannot afford to do for the rest of your life simply because it's unnatural. And once you get tired of playing bitch, do you have the confidence that he will love you for who you are? If you do all is well, but then again, he fell in love with the bitch, not with you. Unless you erase your identity and actually become the bitch you described.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 It seems like the ladies here miss the point. It doesn't matter how you act. It matters how you look. If you're hot, you'll have guys chasing you no matter how you act. If you're ugly, you'll get nobody. Simple as that.
KatZee Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 It seems like the ladies here miss the point. It doesn't matter how you act. It matters how you look. If you're hot, you'll have guys chasing you no matter how you act. If you're ugly, you'll get nobody. Simple as that. Yeah sorry. Not buying this. I mean maybe initially a guy will chase in the beginning if she's a hot girl, but once he's around long enough and he can see how she behaves, I don't know too many genuine, caring, authentic, wonderful, confident and SECURE men who are going to continue chasing a snotty stuck up bitch. Take one of my friends for instance. She's a good looking girl. But her attitude with men? She acts entitled. She once said to me, "I'm a queen and they must treat me that way." It's never surprising to me that she can't hold a man, or why in all her 28 years of life she has never had a LEGIT long term boyfriend. If a woman acts repulsive, she's never going to hold on to a man for any length of time. 1
charlietheginger Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Devil advocate..... For the OP.... I can see her point 37 kids bills to pay so why.....? Take the time to go on dates spread your legs all for what ? What does the op get ? If she is happy on her own what will a guy bring to the table? A penis ? Most guys are lousey in the sack... So a guy would really have to offer more the his dingdong 1
reaver Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Im not surprised the OP has found these results. Most men say they want a nice, sweet, laidback girl but the vast majority will get bored of her and take her for granted (unless she is smoking hot of course). Very few men dont do that. The problem is at some point youll have to let down your bitch guard and show the true "you" and if a guy isnt into sweet girls he will bolt anyway. Basically, your false advertising isnt attracting the right kind of man for you longterm 1
Woggle Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Im not surprised the OP has found these results. Most men say they want a nice, sweet, laidback girl but the vast majority will get bored of her and take her for granted (unless she is smoking hot of course). Very few men dont do that. The problem is at some point youll have to let down your bitch guard and show the true "you" and if a guy isnt into sweet girls he will bolt anyway. Basically, your false advertising isnt attracting the right kind of man for you longterm Switch the genders and you sound exactly like the bitter so called nice guys.
reaver Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Switch the genders and you sound exactly like the bitter so called nice guys. Sorry the truth hurts. I said "most men" but "all men." Guess what? "most men" DO NOT fully appreciate a nice, sweet girl for a long period of time. Maybe men in their 40's, but sure as not men our age! 1
Joaquin Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I dont see how pretending to be someone your not (ie a bitch) is going to get u anyone other than a limp dick with no self esteem. Surely you should treat others how you want to be treated. And if they can't or won't contribute similarly you have the awareness and self respect to know the guy ain't worthy, and move on.
William Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Some topically relevant material from members processed for violations elsewhere has been retained, so some quotes may have no referenced post. Carry on.
Woggle Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Sorry the truth hurts. I said "most men" but "all men." Guess what? "most men" DO NOT fully appreciate a nice, sweet girl for a long period of time. Maybe men in their 40's, but sure as not men our age! Like people used to say to me about women have you met most men in the world? There are more men then just the men around you.
Treasa Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I've been refraining from commenting on this. I'm not bitchy, and I'm not emotionally guarded. I don't have to guard something that's strong and can withstand anything. I can be sweet and fun to be around and still have boundaries. Having fun with myself, as I've been preaching, is why people enjoy being with me. They know I don't NEED them for emotional security. I just have fun, and when they want to go, they can go. It's all cool.
Woggle Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Being like this would have gotten the kind of women I don't want. Quality is attracted to quality so I had to show my best side to keep my wife attracted.
Recommended Posts