30somethin Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Well to keep this story short. Wife of 5 years recently split She was talking to another guy, I quickly got out and found an apartment. She says they were just friends bla bla bla bla. But, texting and calling and seeing some guy over and over is more than just friends. The guy is a few years younger than her, loser, no job, lives with mommy, very outgoing and a partier (everthing I am not, I am more reserved, work oriented, family oriented, and love my son). She even told me this. "He is the complete opposite of you, he is care free", well no "#¤% he is carefree, he has nothing to do. I was the provider for the family, did pretty much everything, while she had her fun whenever she wanted. I guess you could say that I was more the rock than she was. She comes around and says the relationship was all my fault, I didn't do this, I didn't do that. Bla bla bla. We also have a little 1 year old together. I miss her like crazy and would love a second chance. She is sending texts, calling all the time. These messages or texts have nothing to do with the relationship whatsoever. They are more or less like, can I have our son on Saturday, can I borrow the car, hope everything is going well. Bla bla bla. There is a void in my life right now without my life. I am more upset that our family is split into two now when we have a one year old. I am a great dad and put in a lot of time with my son to give him the best life possible. I am also trying to stay positive. I make good money, have a nice car, a great job, and a wonderful son, but I am missing something, her. I have not texted her so much and am trying to keep contact to a minnimum. Sometimes I wish she would just come up to my door and knock and say "Let's make this work, and work on this marriage". I do love her more than anything in this world but I do not really know what to do. She knows how I felt since I told her all of this after the separation. I just wish things were different. I know I will move on, find someone else, but for some reason I just want her. ahhhhhhh. How should I play this or should I even do anything at all? Like I said she knows how I feel. She just does not feel the same way. 30
Author 30somethin Posted April 13, 2013 Author Posted April 13, 2013 Well it has been two weeks since I moved out. I was trying in the beginning but today I really told her how I felt. She is too busy partying and hanging out with her friends to really miss me. She is really going through with it and there is no real way of turning back. I just told her that I would love to save this marriage and I think that we could be great, which I really do. I really do not know where to start though and she is very keen on getting the divorce. I personally think there is no going back here but time will tell. I just hurt for my little boy. He is my main focus now. 30
Author 30somethin Posted April 13, 2013 Author Posted April 13, 2013 Of course, I didn't see her the way she needs to be seen. A huge mistake I must live with. I did see her but in my own way. I was in some way emotionally unavailable sometimes. But I am a great father, provider, lover, and do what I am supposed to do as a husband. There were times (if she was going with her friends), I would decide not to go and stay at home or go do something else. I feel like I had to do everything she wanted to do. We did a lot of things as a family but I guess that was never good enough. I always felt like second best to her friends. She would always put them over my needs and that is another reason I don't know how I personally feel. I just wanted her to love me as much as she loved them.
CopingGal Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 How it is that you know all this stuff about this new guy? You shouldn't know anything and keep it that way. My ex tried to shove all this info of another woman down my throat even though he cheated on me with her. I refused to even be his friend. I stay away from him, left town and started my own life. It's been over 3 months since I checked his facebook page. I only checked it to make sure he wasn't living in the town I was moving to. Forget about these two and go on and live your life.
i.am Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Of course, I didn't see her the way she needs to be seen. A huge mistake I must live with. I did see her but in my own way. I was in some way emotionally unavailable sometimes. But I am a great father, provider, lover, and do what I am supposed to do as a husband. There were times (if she was going with her friends), I would decide not to go and stay at home or go do something else. I feel like I had to do everything she wanted to do. We did a lot of things as a family but I guess that was never good enough. I always felt like second best to her friends. She would always put them over my needs and that is another reason I don't know how I personally feel. I just wanted her to love me as much as she loved them. Why not try taking her out on a date? Not spending time as a family but her only. And do not assume. I guess the problem with relationships is not only lack of communication but also making assumptions. Since you feel that you are second best to her friends, did you tell her about it? What did she say? It takes 2 hands to clap.
Author 30somethin Posted April 13, 2013 Author Posted April 13, 2013 Would love to take her on a date and show her that I am the one she would like to have. I just know that she does not want that right now. She wants to move on, or at least that is what she said to me on the phone. I asked her if there was even a chance and she said NO. So it looks like I got my answer. I really miss her though. She is a great mom too and that is another thing that makes me sad.
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