pyrojack502 Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 I dont know where to begin. six years ago i met a girl after a break up. the previous relationship had lasted two yrs. When I met this girl it wasnt supposed to be more than a fling. As time progressed we became really close and though i tried to work things out with my ex at the time she wasnt interested. The woman I was seeing up until now, we have the most beautiful daughter I could ever dream of. In the middle of our relationship we started to drift apart. She would talk to other men and I would talk to other women, but somehow we always stuck together. During this period I met a woman online who was in a different country and was dying of cancer. We became really close and I started to have feelings for her but those feelings would never be a reality. At first my girlfriend was ok with this then out of the blue she said to end it. I couldnt turn my back on someone that was dying, but in the end... i did. A few months later she had passed away. The woman i was physically seeing was there for me but did not care about my friend. she hated both of us for what happened. I told her i was sorry.... looked her in the eye and as i cryed i said... you are my best friend. now i know we both dont have a good track record on both our end in being faithful but we loved each other very much on anything that happened. One day she just packed her things and left to go live with another guy. This devistated me and i had to take a step back and say ok.... how did this happen, what did i do wrong.... was it all my fault? the answer was yes. Me and this woman and our daughter we're very close despite of what was going on. but I always acted like i didnt care. she wanted more kids.. i didnt... i always got mad when she didnt do house work.... and it was because her back was in pain. I asked her to marry me then said no i dont want to get married. I was the reason she left..... and understanding it now, and trying to fix the jerk that i was... im trying so hard to get her to come back home. Shes done made promises to this guy that she was going to live with him, and probably a few others one that would kill me to know. so when I see her again I do a complete 180. i dont bitch at her for what shes done.. i accept responsibility and told her i know i failed her and by failing her i failed my daughter for putting her in this situation. So i not only turned into supper daddy, I turned into the man i should of been. I was romantic, which i hardly ever was, sent her flowers, told her every day while she was at her dads how beauitful she was. Now she tells me shes thinking about coming home but is scared i will turn back into the same uncaring ******* i was. No..... it wont be like that anymore. I takes a big boom to change someones life.... and this was a big boom. they are my family and i love them with all my heart. I should of shown them I cared more. all i want is one last chance to show her it wont be the same any more but she says things about staying with the other guys too. I have never cryed so much before in my whole life. i cant eat, i cant sleep, i cant enjoy anything i used to anymore because with out my family everything i do dont have a meaning to it. She has expressed to me she loves me, but when I start getting emotional she gets upset and angry. Right now she is over his house for nine days with our daughter. she said she will think of me everyday and she does misses me. I have a feeling shes my soul mate. that god made her specially for me. Our personalities go together like peas in a pod. I tryed talking to other females, but it doesnt feel right. I slept with another and the whole time i was thinking of her and when it was over i cried. yea a man cried after sex. I wont give up on us... or our family. Im trying to stay positive and have faith that she will come home and give me a second chance. I just dont know what I can do to prove to her Im not the man i was before and that it will not be the way it was before. I love my family with all my heart, and my daughter deserves better than whats going on now. my daughter has put my and mommas hands together... when she stays with me she is always looking for momma. she needs her mom and dad together. she needs her family. i dont want my child growing up in a broken home. i just dont know how to continue the fight. I dont know how much longer I can keep crying. I love them with all my heart guys. can someone any one.... please tell me if this has happened to them and if its had a positive outcome?
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