Buttercup84 Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 While I went out with friends, I met a guy in the group called Mark (32). Cute, well dressed, polite and has a good job and his own house. My friend says how respectful he is and does not like casual sex. He told me that he hates being single and would love a girlfriend. He left early, and we hardly talked after that as I was talking to another guy all night ( which is another story...) My friend said that she and her boyfriend got invited to his house for a bbq and he said to invote me along. I said no because I am stupid. I spent the evening being bored ****less in the end. I had a good talk to a friend and thought about Mark a lot. I do not know him well enough, but he sounds like a good guy. So I asked my friend for his number, which she has to get off her boyfriend I guess. Still waiting, but do not want to ask her as she is in full bridezilla mode and will lose it. I was thinking of texting " Hi Mark, this is Buttercup, Becs best friend. I wanted to say thank you for the invite and sorry I could not come. " Yes ? I have never done this before, but what the hell.
Author Buttercup84 Posted April 13, 2013 Author Posted April 13, 2013 Typos, sorry ! I would just like to meet him for coffee and get to know him.
outsidethebox Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Given you're part of a group of mutual friends, you can have the person who is getting his number give your number to him and tell him to call you. As in "Here's Buttercup's number. Call her." When he does call you, you don't need to say anything more about not going with the friends to his house other than couldn't make it, but wanted to get to know you better. Be cool, friendly, and in control. 3
PogoStick Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 If you get his number then just ask him out! Seriously, guys appreciate getting a break from all the chasing. 2
Author Buttercup84 Posted April 13, 2013 Author Posted April 13, 2013 I am torn now lol. See what happens, my friend might get him to contact me. He is not on facebook so I can't friend him either, which would be easier. I will text him, if he is not interestes I will live.
outsidethebox Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 It's not a matter of whether you'd be embarrasssed or not, it's a matter of style and attraction. It's much more interesting for a guy to be given a number and told to call a girl than to have some girl text him and say "want to get coffee" / hang out / etc. The suggestion is what's in your best interest for being most interesting to him. Theoretically, anyway. Not that being called or texted by a girl is a downer. 2
Author Buttercup84 Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 Update : I got his number and texted him while I was out with our friends. Said he should come too. He said he had a few drinks so can't drive but will come next time. He also invited me to his bbq and told me he is buying something for the bbq, and is excited about buying it. Forgot what it was. So that is it. My friend says he is the kinda guy who wants to settle down. When I first met him I think he saw me make " no " face to my friend. God I am horrible. 1
FlyerFan54 Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Update : I got his number and texted him while I was out with our friends. Said he should come too. He said he had a few drinks so can't drive but will come next time. He also invited me to his bbq and told me he is buying something for the bbq, and is excited about buying it. Forgot what it was. So that is it. My friend says he is the kinda guy who wants to settle down. When I first met him I think he saw me make " no " face to my friend. God I am horrible. My advice? Chill. Honestly, you said it yourself you don't know him very well. The fact you have his number and said he would come next time, that seems like a good start. It's tough because I have a tendency to do the same thing, but don't think too much into the "no" face or the fact he wants to settle down. Play it by ear, hang out a few times, and let it evolve. If you you into it thinking too much too fast, it could make things more difficult or uncomfortable. Get to know the guy a bit, and best of luck! 2
outsidethebox Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Agreed. Forget the initial reaction. I'm thinking that telling you about buying something for his bbq is a trial opener. Was there any opportunity to suggest something, especially let me come help you pick it out, etc. Communicate with him. Shouldn't wait until then imo.
Author Buttercup84 Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 Thanks guys. Well my friend said he does not seem like the kind of guy who comes on too strong. When they were all out together, he asked where I was. . Hw has my number now, so he can get in contact with me if he wants. If we just end up being friejds then that is cool too. 1
Archgirl Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Is this the same guy from the other thread? Did you got to the BBQ yet? I think lay off contacting him for a bit- leave the ball in his court.
outsidethebox Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Thanks guys. Well my friend said he does not seem like the kind of guy who comes on too strong. When they were all out together, he asked where I was. . Hw has my number now, so he can get in contact with me if he wants. If we just end up being friends then that is cool too. It will end up better than that. It is ordained. I feel it. Let us know how the bbq goes. I will be disappointed if he doesn't call you before then after asking about you. 1
Author Buttercup84 Posted April 28, 2013 Author Posted April 28, 2013 Thanks guys well no word from him yet, but hopefully there will be a bbq soon. I guess he might not think that I am keen because I was talking to another guy when we met. Took me too long to realize that he is decent and nice. @Arch yes, that is him. 1
Archgirl Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Thanks guys well no word from him yet, but hopefully there will be a bbq soon. I guess he might not think that I am keen because I was talking to another guy when we met. Took me too long to realize that he is decent and nice. @Arch yes, that is him. If you don't hear from him soon - totes his loss right!? Buuut- are you attracted to him?
Author Buttercup84 Posted April 28, 2013 Author Posted April 28, 2013 To be honest I was not really, as we hardly spoke. I was talking to someone else and my friend. He did try and talk to me though, and I feel bad. I thought aboit him a lot lately, and the more I hear about him the more I am interested. Often though, when I am really attracted to someone right away,it does not last. But I was not into my ex until about four dates. Think I did the typical girl thing, was put off by the whole good guy thing. My friend just messaged me and asked if I had spoken to him today. She urged me to ask him out but I will not do that. Sorry for the essay haha. If he does not text by Tuesday night I will go to the bbq and just be friends.
outsidethebox Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 You have mutual friend(s) who told you he asked about you and urged you to initiate something. At least tell the mutual friend he should call you. This is so easy for you compared to all the other possible situations imo. Just have to kickstart some dufus into action. 1
Author Buttercup84 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 Have not heard from him yet. Will just leave it, he is obviously not interested. But all good
Estate Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Have not heard from him yet. Will just leave it, he is obviously not interested. But all good Good for you for taking the initiative. I hope he gets back to you but win lose or draw well done, a lot of people would have shyed away from what they wanted to do.
outsidethebox Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 hi Buttercup, he asked where you were, it is not obvious he is not interested imo. Guys not interested don't ask where you are. Also there was some talk from him to you somehow about he was looking forward to buying something for his yard bbq and somehow that aspect just totally fizzled away. At no point has he acted not interested except not calling you directly and asking you for a date or whatever, yet I can't tell that he has much of anything from you to know what to do except a face you made when you first saw him. I don't know which of you two are more recessive so it's going to be a challenge to get you two together, but it's going to happen. Look at this way. You inadvertantly gave him major negative vibes, I think you should step up to the plate here and undo that with positive action. He has asked about you, he talked to you somehow, I can't remember, in a pleasant positive way that you could have acted on, and every post you make ends with he's not interested, ce la vie. Have somebody direct him to call you, as in, call Buttercup immediately if not sooner and ask her out. Most people posting about trying to meet someone don't have mutual friends to arrange it. This is more painful than it needs to be.
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