OCCDAVE Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Well just shy of another week of nc I did something I know I'm gonna get crap for.I ordered her some flowers which she should be getting Saturday before 5 on her birthday.Tbh I cried once this week but I am now starting to wake up and relise shes not coming back.Well then why send her anything or even let her know you remember her birthday?eh tbh I know my recent post won't prove it but I just wanted to do one last thing for her and oddly enough I don't have any hidden reasons for doing it .Tbh I don't even expect a thank you text actually I sorta fear getting a text telling me off (yes makes no sense )I won't bs everyone here a part of me will always miss her but this chapter is closed .Well I may get crap for this but figured I'd share it anyway this forum hàs always giving me good advice .
Art_Critic Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 breakup suck OCC.. sorry you are hurting. We all do things after a breakup that stun the normal person looking in, right now understand you are hurting and try to move on. The rest... try to put her B-day out of your mind.
AwptiK Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 I've literally cancelled a floral order when it was on the truck towards its destination (for other reasons). Just saying. Not too late... Best of luck in your recovery. 3
Author OCCDAVE Posted April 13, 2013 Author Posted April 13, 2013 Well I woke up from my nap to an alert and no it wasnt her it was just email tell me they were delivered .Tbh part of me knew I'd get no reply but small part thought maybe we could be adults about this (yeah right) Anyway for all I know they are sitting in the trash as we speak .I guess this put a nail in it Ive done what I could and like other users have said If she wanted to contact you she knows how to find you .looking back I think I came off creepy sending anything I might as well of showed up myself sigh .
CompleteFailure Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 I don't know man. You said yourself you wanted nothing out of it, just wanted to send her the flowers for her birthday. She might have thrown them out, she might have stomped them out, she might have burned them. You know what though? I bet for a moment no matter how hard she tried to hide it, those flowers brought a smile to her face. 2
ThorntonMelon Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 No crap necessary. We've all done it. You sent them for you, not for her. Changes nothing, you know that, but it allows you to live authentically. Good for you, though try your best to have authentic you going forward not need to send flowers to her. 1
Damaged23 Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 What's done is done. No point in beating yourself up at this point. Maybe not getting a reply was the best thing that could have happened. Time to go back to what you were doing, let it go, buddy. 1
Author OCCDAVE Posted April 14, 2013 Author Posted April 14, 2013 Your right no reply Infact was the best hell if I got a cold reply it would make no difference .Anyway ill take a break from the whole dating game at this point I'm drained .I got a deputy Sherriff exam Monday so my focus needs to be back on that .Its time I put myself first and work on myself it's obvious I got alot of work ahead of me. 3
Author OCCDAVE Posted April 14, 2013 Author Posted April 14, 2013 My heart just dropped she sent me a text Her.did you just call me ? Knowing I didn't call her I'm assuming shes fishing so as much as it sucks I won't bite .Least should have done was say thanks for the flowers sigh
winstonsdreams Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 Dude just play it cool, think to yourself what you would do if it was someone else and they wrote you that text, you would at least say 'nah dude' or 'haha no i didn't'. Just ignoring it is not productive, i think anyway, and i have been in the same boat as you. Act like it's an old friend which is hard i know but she knows full well you sent her flowers, which you probably shouldn't have done but you did. So play it cool man. 1
steveT95 Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 In the case of that particular text I would reply. You want to be like adults, ignoring a text like that isn't been like an adult. Good for you on sending those flowers, not sure of your motive but I think it says a lot. I know it would mean a lot to me if my ex wished me a happy birthday. Good Luck with you sheriff exam! 1
Author OCCDAVE Posted April 15, 2013 Author Posted April 15, 2013 (edited) Well I just got home from the exam so hopefully this pans out .This def could be a new beginning so "fingers crosses".I should have replied I feel ignoring made me look guilty and immature but to late now.Im gonna try to focus and work on myself for now I doubt ill be dating or anything .I won't bs I still miss her heck part of me still loves her that's not something you can switch off .I still tend to cry here and there but I notice more time passes less i do .My motive for sending wasnt trying to win her back I honestly did it cause I care and wanted to do something nice for her .Thanks again for all the input Edited April 15, 2013 by OCCDAVE 1
Author OCCDAVE Posted April 17, 2013 Author Posted April 17, 2013 Eh struggling with my recovery and trying to maintain nc ugh.One thing that leaves a bad taste in my mouth among other stuff is fact I didn't even get a reply to my flowers I sent .Guess I was trying to be a nice guy and screwed my head even more sigh
Trimmer Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Eh struggling with my recovery and trying to maintain nc ugh.One thing that leaves a bad taste in my mouth among other stuff is fact I didn't even get a reply to my flowers I sent .Guess I was trying to be a nice guy and screwed my head even more sigh Yeah, it screws with your head, but you'll get through it. See, that's the problem with making that kind of a gesture: you will tell yourself "I'm really doing this for myself and I don't have any expectations or hidden reasons. Really. Honest..." And you will convince yourself of that, and you will believe yourself. But you've just as surely fooled yourself, because eventually you get to where you are now: "... I've got a bad taste in my mouth, because I didn't even get a reply..." Look I'm not taking you to task - everybody does it in one way or another. Everybody slips and everybody fools themselves. But I still say it is probably better for your recovery in the long run that she didn't respond. Because now, this outcome has reinforced that you are apart and that you are going to stay that way. If she had responded on the other hand, then almost ANYTHING that she said, no matter what it was, you would have been taking it apart, trying to figure out what it means and how it all fits. It would have been like a little hit of the drug you are withdrawing from. It would have taken you backwards, and you would have had to first recover from the pain of that distraction, and then recover the progress you lost before being able to move forward again. 2
Author OCCDAVE Posted April 18, 2013 Author Posted April 18, 2013 Ya I guess I was telling myself ,friends and even family I'm doing this to be a nice guy but as you said that part of you thinks dif.Heck even if she did reply she has made it clear she wants nothing to do with me.Way I see it if ppl want you in their life they will reach out to you .I also won't bs your right if she replied any different I won't have put it under a microscope and picked it apart .Def not gonna speed up my healing process.I won't bs I still care about her but its good to see when we hit a small bump in the road she ran and never turned back sigh
TaraMaiden Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 I'm saying nothing. Infractions sting.... But 50 years back, I'd be your momma boxin' your ears, and screaming atcha "What did I tell you not to do, huh?? And what did you do?! Honestly, you boys! Go to your room and don't come down until supper-time! An' you just wait till your father gets home!!" Or words to that effect.
AKisBaked Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 dude we all do sorts of things when a BU is fresh to try to get back our ex bf or gf. We do all sorts of crazy shyt.. From my own experience, this wasn't a birthday but it was Valentines Day. I bought her a Tiffany necklace. I gave it to her and she seemed pretty happy. But after 2 days she acts so hostile towards me and doesn't crap, So i felt that she doesn't deserve the gift I got her clearly, so I told her I want the necklace back. And she gave it back. =) But getting back on topic.. just don't try to do too much or else she will realize she can take advantage of you. You seem like your weak in the heart but that's actually a good thing, because at least you care. But don't go out of your way to do too much for her or else your gonna end up getting hurt and having a setback for yourself bro.
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