toc200 Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Hey guys, just wondering what you do when little things remind you of those oh so lovely moments of the ex? I was grocery shopping today and saw a bag of ketchup chips. In our courtship me and her always baby voiced "babe, buy me some ketchup chips". We stopped saying it Til the end and then today the sight of it made me well up. I know people may say let it out. My counsellor told me to visualize an over the top cartoon character who I'll call Mr. Rehash, for when I rehash these memories. None of it seems to help. What other methods do you guys have? Will there ever come a day when I can buy a bag of ketchup chips lol? Toc
january2011 Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Reclaim the triggers. Create new rituals and experiences for those triggers so that you "overwrite" the memories. For example, create your own ritual with the ketchup chips, a ritual that has nothing to do with your ex.
coffeebean201 Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Hi Toc200, sometimes these reminders are just a way to keep the relationship alive in your everyday life when the person themselves is gone. If the relationship is over, then it isn't healthy to pretend it is still alive with these reminders - which are intense and sort of block any significant connection with anyone else.
h3braica Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 reminders like the silver shop because he loves silver necklace, the movies on tv, his name i've seen anywhere, a person that looks like him, his favorite beer and foods, etc. everything reminds me of him. the more i tried to forget him the more i've seen things that relates to him. and remember the past and the BU and how i hate him so much that i want him to die now. 1
atarisboy86 Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 I acknowledge the memory/thought and then move forward. I know that personally I can't erase memories/thoughts, but I try not to dwell on them too much.
portableversion Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 yeah I hear ya I was with my ex for 17 yrs and there is a lot. For one thing im not from this town and its because of her I followed here. There is so much here that remind me of her, and then on top of it I run into people who mention her home town, there are songs on the radio, there is a lot. I just need to get away from here. I found a hypnotherapist here , im gonna call here soon to see if they can erase or bury memories it would be nice to look at her and not know who she is, though there is some of that already. SHes done things post divorce that really make me wonder who she is, shes lied to me a lot and I had always considered her to be honest but perhaps I was just naïve. Her continued involvement with her man after shes told me several times shes not sure about him and thinks of reconciling has just been betrayal on top of betrayal. The divorce was a huge betrayal of the highest order, just pure sloppy laziness when no attempt was made t fix us and then this bs with her man. yeah forget these people if any means can be sought to forget them do it, they didn't want us and didn't care enough to find the proper solution they were just in a rush to shag other people. Ive already burned tossed and sold off stuff don't have much left at all by summers end every single trace will be gone, only thing left will be kids and these stupid memories hopefully they will get hazy and buried under the present. NO sense keeping memories of those who betrayed us and threw us in the trash, im sure they think of u while they shag others....not ne thing I read was to help was to only think of the bad things about them to get angry and to feel good they are not of ur life. It was difficult for me at 1st but her continued involvement with her man has provided much lubrication for such a project, cant get to carried away lest ill be tempted to bad mouth her in front of the kids like she does me
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