chimom Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Breakup was last week. I'm going to take everyone's advice and go no contact. Do I tell the ex I'm going no contact, but feel free to contact me if you want to get back together? This is exactly what I should NOT say, correct? Part of me really wants to. (See my past posts: this is a breakup where nobody did anything wrong and we are both incredibly sad.)
Echo000 Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Breakup was last week. I'm going to take everyone's advice and go no contact. Do I tell the ex I'm going no contact, but feel free to contact me if you want to get back together? This is exactly what I should NOT say, correct? Part of me really wants to. (See my past posts: this is a breakup where nobody did anything wrong and we are both incredibly sad.) haha. my man. Just use no contact to go into no contact. I.e just dont be in any contact..no need to contact her to tell her that u dont want contact. And right on- definitely do not say contact me if you wanna be together. Why is that a bad idea? Because you are chopping off your own testicles and giving them to her. Telling her that she can return your testicles whenever she wants, if she wants. Got to maintain your independence and power, not give it all away. By no means do I think your questions are dumb. The answers, quite simply, are simply..simple. 2
january2011 Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 In my opinion, no contact means no contact at all, under any circumstances. No contact is for you to get your head and your heart in check. To get your life back on track and to rebuild it without your ex. If you want to leave a backdoor open then it's better to have another talk and see if there is anything worth salvaging. Otherwise, face forward and one foot in front of the other.
i.am Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Yes, don't have to say anything. You'll just be giving her the power of decision, that she can come back to you ANYTIME she wants. I guess that's not one of the purpose of NC. Of cause, do not sit around and wait for her too. During NC should be the time to find yourself back and by then, you may be able to see if you're better without her.
itto ogami Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Go into NO CONTACT and say nothing. If she wants to get back with you, NC is the only thing that will impel that. But's it about you moving on, and so it's a win-win situation as many have pointed out.
siankat Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 I am so fed up with this cardinal rule that is no contact. If there was no real foul play by either side as the poster said (didn't read the original story), then treat the person with respect not as public enemy number one. Be respectful. If there is still respect between you both and depending on how it ended it is absolutely fine to say, 'I'm just writing to let you know i think it's best we don't keep in touch now that we have split. Thanks in advance for your understanding' Something like that. No contact is not a weapon to be used as defence or a test but a ligitimate tool to speed up emotional healing. Some people deserve the courtesy of knowing that is what you want, some don't. Depends on the situation. I think THAT is how to keep your balls and be a man 2
Sweetnothing Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 If you tell your ex you're going NC its going to sound to them like you're playing a game.
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