USMCHokie Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 It's easy to say personality is just as important if you hae the looks. You have more options and a better chance at meeting a good looking person with a good persinality. IMO as long as you're not an over the top dick/or bitch and a social reject, if someome's attracted to you the battle is already won. This brings up an interesting point...from my vague recollection of observations past (both on and off LS), I've noticed a trend that more physically attractive individuals will tend to say that personality is what matters in attracting the opposite sex, while less physically attractive individuals will tend to say that looks matter more. Is it possible that those who are better looking have simply lived a life where they haven't had to jump over the hurdle of physical attractiveness and can skip right to the good part, i.e., personality...?
Andy_K Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 The trouble with striving to become attractive to a greater number of people is that you lose focus on whether those people are appealing to you. Looks aside, just because someone has a pleasant personality it doesn't mean they'd make a great partner for you. You may have nothing in common. Different world views. Different sense of humour. Different tastes. By all means follow the self improvement path; I'm the first to advocate that. But there comes a point when you say 'Hey, I'm pretty appealing now. And it's time to tear down my options with a wrecking ball by being exactly who I want to be, and seeing who's left' 1
runningfar Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 I appeal to myself first and people can take it or leave it. It whittles down the option to worthwhile ones. Yes. This.
Philosopher Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Initially attractiveness is important, after all the women will know nothing about your personality at first. However even if you are not that attractive if you approach enough women, eventually you will meet some that find you attractive. Once past the initial meeting you can use your personality strengths to further build up that appeal. Lets suppose there are two guys who both go to a bar one night. One is a handsome ribbed muscular guy who is attractive to 50% of the women he meets, however he only approaches two women in a bar that night so only gets to get out with one women. The second guy is no where near as attractive and only has success with 20% of the women he approaches. However he approaches 20 women, so is able to get four dates. Therefore as a result the less attractive guy is more successful.
USMCHokie Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Lets suppose there are two guys who both go to a bar one night. One is a handsome ribbed muscular guy who is attractive to 50% of the women he meets, however he only approaches two women in a bar that night so only gets to get out with one women. The second guy is no where near as attractive and only has success with 20% of the women he approaches. However he approaches 20 women, so is able to get four dates. Therefore as a result the less attractive guy is more successful. Unsound example. You are changing two variables, attractiveness (and corresponding percentage) and number of approaches. Why did you have handsome muscular guy approach less women?
Author Pompeii Posted April 13, 2013 Author Posted April 13, 2013 Initially attractiveness is important, after all the women will know nothing about your personality at first. However even if you are not that attractive if you approach enough women, eventually you will meet some that find you attractive. Once past the initial meeting you can use your personality strengths to further build up that appeal. Lets suppose there are two guys who both go to a bar one night. One is a handsome ribbed muscular guy who is attractive to 50% of the women he meets, however he only approaches two women in a bar that night so only gets to get out with one women. The second guy is no where near as attractive and only has success with 20% of the women he approaches. However he approaches 20 women, so is able to get four dates. Therefore as a result the less attractive guy is more successful. Are you kidding me? The ripped muscular guy will inevitably approach more women as he has had more favorable reinforcement success from approaches than the other guy. This is a lopsided example.
tbf Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Are you kidding me? The ripped muscular guy will inevitably approach more women as he has had more favorable reinforcement success from approaches than the other guy. This is a lopsided example.Game one (ONSs): With a higher success rate, the more attractive man won't need to approach more women, particularly when it comes to one night stands. More likely, he'll approach two women and succeed with one. Batting .500. The less attractive man when it comes to ONSs, will need to approach who knows how many women, in order to bed one. A variable of any number, reliant on the two variables of his courage level and charm/personality. The more ballsy and charming man will succeed more often. Game two (looking for relationship material): But when it comes to relationships, that's a whole other ballgame. The more attractive man will have higher standards than the less attractive man. This means that the number of targets for the more attractive man will drop drastically. Within the smaller number of women that the more attractive man will target, this female demographic will be more picky, less swayed by his looks. The less attractive man will target a broader range of women, less selective since his looks don't accord him the same degree of success with more attractive women. Now let's look at a less attractive man with very high standards for looks in a partner. Add in that the less attractive man has no social skills, no interest in self-improvement, has a defeatist attitude and fears failure/rejection above all else. What's the probability that this demographic will find a partner?
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