love1336x Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 So is anyone here currently in an open relationship? had an open relationship? What was your experiences with an open relationship? What should I expect? What are the rules, if there is any? I personally never had one, but I been thinking about it. Currently, my boyfriend can't seem to stop talking to other girls, includes exes, girls from work, girls he used to go to high school with. He always ask for photos of themselves, txt them when we're out eating, movies, 3 in the morning. He talks about everything with them. One even admitted she had a crush on him. Don't get me wrong! I trust him. I believe he would never cheat, but I am also not an idiot. If he catches feelings for one of these girls... I feel why should it be taboo for him to not go for it vs lying to me and cheating. I know my logic seem crazy, but if you make something taboo, then don't you want it more? But if you give the person OPEN opportunity then the desire is gone, No? Can an open relationship be done?
steveT95 Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 Leave him. Don't feel you should stick around just because you trust him and love him. He is putting you second. Your logic is crazy, if you have to do that for a relationship, it isn't worth it. No matter how great you two are.
Treasa Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Since you only want to do it to manipulate him into being with just you, I don't see it working well in your favor.
CarrieT Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 So is anyone here currently in an open relationship? Not any more. had an open relationship? Yep. My marriage was open 25 years ago. Worked fine until I found out he was sleeping with men and lying to me about it. What was your experiences with an open relationship? That we would be completely, utterly, and totally honest with one another. Until he was not... What should I expect? Always expect the unexpected. Seriously? Expect that someone is going to get hurt, because (in my experience) that ALWAYS happens. There is no way three - or more - people can be involved with one another without somebody experiencing some form of jealousy. What are the rules, if there is any? The rules are what you guys decide. But they should be discussed and agreed-upon before entering into such an agreement. Can an open relationship be done? I have seen them work successfully, yes. But the ones that work are very, very, very rare. 99.9% of the time, they blow up in peoples faces. The ones that I have seen work have been by couples who have been in very long-term relationships who know the ropes; i.e., MATURE couples in their 50s. I have NEVER seen it work by couples younger than their 40s. Ever. And I've been around the block nine or ten times...
Giraffe1 Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 He is disrespectful. Don't you deserve more respect than THAT!?!!!!!
foreverandalways Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 So is anyone here currently in an open relationship? had an open relationship? What was your experiences with an open relationship? What should I expect? What are the rules, if there is any? I personally never had one, but I been thinking about it. Currently, my boyfriend can't seem to stop talking to other girls, includes exes, girls from work, girls he used to go to high school with. He always ask for photos of themselves, txt them when we're out eating, movies, 3 in the morning. He talks about everything with them. One even admitted she had a crush on him. Don't get me wrong! I trust him. I believe he would never cheat, but I am also not an idiot. If he catches feelings for one of these girls... I feel why should it be taboo for him to not go for it vs lying to me and cheating. I know my logic seem crazy, but if you make something taboo, then don't you want it more? But if you give the person OPEN opportunity then the desire is gone, No? Can an open relationship be done? Do some research on this before you just do it. Check out some of the rules that other couples have in their relationships. We can't tell you what the rules are, because only you know. I'm concerned about your motives to be in an open relationship though. Of course I don't know all of the details of your relationship, so I'm basing this only upon what I'm seeing here. It seems that you're under the mentality of "if you can't beat em, join em". Which can be OK, if it's something YOU want to do and can be OK with. If you're only doing it so that he can still stay with you also, then you're just going to be full of jealousy and resentment and the relationship will not work. Open relationships can work, yes. But everyone involved has to want it. Just make sure it's something you really want. Go read my girl on girl thread in the sex forum. It went completely off topic, and you can get some more insight on my current relationship.
TheGuard13 Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 If it's something you want, in other words, if you also want to see other men, that's one thing. You'll both need to talk about it, and be mature about it. Doing it to "keep" this guy is a bad idea, and will only breed resentment.
Author love1336x Posted April 14, 2013 Author Posted April 14, 2013 If it's something you want, in other words, if you also want to see other men, that's one thing. You'll both need to talk about it, and be mature about it. Doing it to "keep" this guy is a bad idea, and will only breed resentment. Yeah, I don't want to date other men. I can say I got my date on already with other men when I was single. I know what I want. He's young, and maybe doesn't know what he wants in life. (He's 18.) I'm 22. When I bring up open relationship. He gets upset with me.Go figure.
TheGuard13 Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 He's too insecure to discuss an open relationship...he's probably not secure enough or mature enough to be in a committed one at this point in time.
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