My friends pregnant and asked me to play dad!!??

[LeGenDary_Man]

because I'm enjoying my life - and life's too short not to enjoy it

Life is too short for making premature and impulsive decisions actually.

 

This girl will use "guys like you" because "guys like you" are so gullible; loving; caring; white knights in shining armor; perfect recipe of a "support system" that can be utilized during hour of need.

 

You describe your interactions with her "electric" and yet she doesn't thinks twice about sleeping with other guys and even ended-up pregnant in the process. I mean, seriously? Do you really think she considers you "special" for herself in the context of relationship? You are kidding yourself. Yes, she may help you in your hour of need but she is doing so as a friend. You may reciprocate the same as a friend. But don't let anybody manipulate you and use you.

 

Several people here have already informed you that your outlook of life might change immensely in later years. Heed this advice.

 

You shall continue to treat this girl like a friend but don't become her "support system" upon which she can fall-back after making irrational decisions whenever she feels like it. Given her taste for promiscuity and lack of maturity, she is unlikely to commit very soon to a single person until or unless she has fully sorted herself out and I am talking about "several years" worth of self-introspection and remedial steps on her behalf.

 

You are young and you have time to explore and discover the world. Don't let this opportunity slip past you for the sake of a friend who would want to use you as a "support system" for her.

 

If you are not getting the drift from "meaningful responses" from experienced people here then it won't surprise us if in few years you would be describing this girl as an EX and how naive you were back then and possibly greater mess.

 

I am not saying that young people do not get lucky in relationships but impulsive decision-making should be avoided. If this girl is in to impulsive decision-making; you are also (almost) in the same boat.

 

If things don't work out between you and this girl in a relationship, chances are that she may (indirectly) end-up ruining your chances with other women as well because you chose to become the DAD of this girl's child and you will have obligations to meet the financial/other potential needs of this child (which is not even your own). So don't drag yourself in to this "mess."

 

HINT: Lot of women don't give chance to "guys with unnecessary baggage" for potential relationship.

Edited April 24, 2013 by LeGenDary_Man

[Necris]

Abortion been murder is a matter of opinion, not law. If you believe a bunch of undeveloped cells are a human then that is your choice. But if people want to abort their mistakes, fine. Don't look down on people because you believe differently.

 

Not to get off subject but they ARE HUMAN. This is scientific fact. When people do abortions they are killing humans. Whether or not killing certain segments of the population is murder or not is debatable, but don't act like she's just clipping hair.

 

 

Besides adoption is always a possibility, especially for infants.

 

 

Yeah, if it was seriously disabled had no quality of life. Just because it makes you feel bad doesn't mean it deserves to suffer.

Killing a disabled person is pretty evil, killing people who have a poor quality of life is also pure evil in my books. If your son or daughter had an accident of some sort and from the accident had no real chance of living a normal life would you kill them? You can claim you are putting them out of their misery but you are really just killer. Instead of butchering the weak the attitude should be to help those in need.

 

 

 

Now back on subject OP this is a huge commitment you are going to be making you better be ready to take care of that child. If you really want to go through with this you have to be 100% onboard, and she has to be ready to give up her current ways to become a mother.

Edited April 24, 2013 by Necris

[Shepp]

Hey buddy,

Life is too short for making premature and impulsive decisions actually.

Yeah no i didnt mean that about the baby thing - i meant like i wouldnt spend time with her if i didnt enjoy it! I was trying to say im not some lost puppy whos at her beck and call cause then maybe she'll like me - i get on with the girl, i enjoy her company and thats why i continue to spend time with her and be freinds with her!

I do love her and if she woke up and wanted to be with me that would be grand but im not depressed about the fact she hasnt yet!

 

This girl will use "guys like you" because "guys like you" are so gullible; loving; caring; white knights in shining armor; perfect recipe of a "support system" that can be utilized during hour of need.

I dont feel like she uses me - like i dont feel like i put in more than i get out. I know ima big source of support for her - and she makes me laugh and knows when to call me out on any bullsh*t & when to just go along for the ride and gives great massages! I dont feel like she pulls the wool over my eyes!

 

You describe your interactions with her "electric" and yet she doesn't thinks twice about sleeping with other guys and even ended-up pregnant in the process. I mean, seriously? Do you really think she considers you "special" for herself in the context of relationship?

At the risk of sounding like an arrogant pr*ck i kinda do! If she didnt see me as somewhat "special" (i dont really like using that word but hey ho) then she would of just pumped & dumped me like everyone else!

 

You shall continue to treat this girl like a friend but don't become her "support system" upon which she can fall-back after making irrational decisions whenever she feels like it.

Totally fair but then what do i do - if i dont pick up the pieces when she gets hurt no one else is gonnna!

Its not like im constantly being the supprt system cause she dosent need me to that much - but i cant not go when she crashes her car, when her dad had forgot to pay his bills and shes got bailiffs at her door or when i know by her voice on the phone shes incrediably down which practically always lines up with almost being her mums anniversary/birthday - of course i go, id do the smae for my best mates or my family, y'know?

 

I am not saying that young people do not get lucky in relationships but impulsive decision-making should be avoided. If this girl is in to impulsive decision-making; you are also (almost) in the same boat.

You think im inpulsive?

 

If things don't work out between you and this girl in a relationship, chances are that she may (indirectly) end-up ruining your chances with other women as well because you chose to become the DAD of this girl's child and you will have obligations to meet the financial/other potential needs of this child (which is not even your own). So don't drag yourself in to this "mess."

HINT: Lot of women don't give chance to "guys with unnecessary baggage" for potential relationship.

There'd make an exception for me! im kidding!

 

Thanks again mate!!

[white123]

hey, how are u doing?

 

did you make a love with her yet..?

[Njeanne]

Don't, is the only answer I'm going to give you.

She got herself pregnent, by ****ing lot's and lot's of guy's.

You'll be left taking care of the baby in evenings while she is out and is partying.

 

She got herself in this mess, and is panicking she is going to loose her partying lifestyle, so ye... you are not her boyfriend, you are a friend. You are 19, you got a whole life ahead of you, don't need to be settled up with someone else's baby.

 

I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but meh... Most people would agree with me here.

[pteromom]

To be very honest, I am afraid of how great of a mother she can be if she never faces her issues. She has been saying to you for years that she loves, but that (she's afraid that) she'll f--k you up because of her issues if she gets involved with you. Has it crossed her mind that the same might happen with the baby, that she'll mess her up, despite her best intentions, if she doesn't get professional help. You've mentioned that she makes "bad decisions on impulse" or sth like this etc. She has to stop doing that, and she needs help to learn how to stop making really bad decisions on impulse...

 

 

This. She is NOT ready to be a mother. I would encourage her to place the baby for adoption and continue working on herself.

 

And dude.... you are her shoulder. If she loved you to the point where she wanted to be with you, she would be. She wouldn't be out getting pregnant by other guys. She simply wants you to LEGALLY be her shoulder, so that she doesn't have to worry as much about the baby.

 

Definitely do NOT be a dad to her baby.

 

I feel for you because I can tell how much you care about her.

[clia]

She dosent know who he is, which kind of answers all the other questions!

 

She doesn't know who the father is????

 

Please, please listen to the advice in this thread. Do not get involved in this. Go forth and find a woman who will love you and go have your own babies with her. Stop wasting your time on a woman who doesn't even know who the father of her baby is and wants you to support her and it. She's using you -- can't you see that?

[Shepp]

hey, how are u doing?

Hey mate, im good, you?

 

did you make a love with her yet..?

haha no

Actually she hasnt been particually well, me mum took her to the doctors the other day when i was at work cause she was dizzy & couldnt breath good but they said it was folic-acid deficiency, so basically anemia which a lot of young people have during pregnancy. (And i didnt score many brownie points there cause i asked her if she was sure it wasnt just withdrawl symptoms from kicking the rollies ).

[Shepp]

I would encourage her to place the baby for adoption and continue working on herself.

Aye thats deffo an option, but like i said (maybe, i forget what i said in ths thread and what i said in me other one ) she reckons everyone she loves leaves one way or another so i dont know how she'd shoulder carrying a kid for 9mnths then giving it away, y'know?

 

And dude.... you are her shoulder. If she loved you to the point where she wanted to be with you, she would be.

 

Yeah to a point i do be a shoulder for her - but not like 24/7 - shes not an emotional wreck - a lot , especially around other people, she's mostly concered with not coming accross as a "sook", im just there when she needs it.

But, im not great with words and i dont really know how to say it but i dont think its as clear cut as 'unrequited love' its more of a 2 way think Like i do look out for her a lot but thats such a habit, like she's such a force of energy, and im so used to reining her in when shes gonna do something stupid, or even when were out just keeping one eye out for her - picking up her drink when she leaves it unattended which is ALL THE TIME , charging her phone when i do mine cause i know she'll forget, just little stuff you know?

But at the same time it is a 2 way thing, like i do those things, but she comes to watch me box & watched red bull rampage with me althought i know shes not a fan of either, and i hurt myself and was in hospital , must of been a few years back, and she was there all the time, bringing me stuff and she as just really good, outsiders just dont see that side y'know?

and i do think she likes me like not long ago now we were like watching some tele and playing monopoly (i am very competitive guy and when it comes to monopoly even more so ) and she was just cuddled into my chest which is nothing out the ordinary. She was messing about trying to take a 'loan' from the bank and i was just like "you cant do that you donut" and she kissed me, which isnt the first time but y'know, and then like click of your fingers she just pulls right away and im like "Alex you cant be mad at me cause you kissed me" and she just goes "im not mad at you, i could never be mad at you gorgeous, its just [and i quote] it scares the hell out of me that being with you makes me want something i was doing fine without".

 

 

She wouldn't be out getting pregnant by other guys. She simply wants you to LEGALLY be her shoulder, so that she doesn't have to worry as much about the baby.

yeah i get where your coming from!

 

I feel for you because I can tell how much you care about her.

Thank you...i do!

(cor what a soppy git ay? )

[Shepp]

She doesn't know who the father is????

nope

 

 

Please, please listen to the advice in this thread. Do not get involved in this. Go forth and find a woman who will love you and go have your own babies with her. Stop wasting your time on a woman who doesn't even know who the father of her baby is and wants you to support her and it. She's using you -- can't you see that?

To fight her corner a little bit - shes not using me - shes always been clear about where i stand, its me that pushes for something more cause i know we'd be good & she wants it too - even if she wouldnt say she does!

 

the thing is ive had plenty of girls ask us out (catch that i am *) and some of them ive took out and there nice & sweet & uncomplicated but there not her! And if we dated im sure it would nice & sweet and uncomplicated but there'd always be second best and thats not fair!*Cause i dont completely wear rose tinted glasses, i see that she can be grumpy & that she can be a **** and she can drive me completely bonkers but when im with her we just click - not like when im with other girls - she makes me do stuff id never do otherwise - she rocks my world! *And after that nice & sweet & uncomplicated just dosent cut it!

 

But the baby thing is a totally different thing to the me and her thing because like i say its not like shes saying 'hey I wanna be a family alf"

[BRXTN]

Bro, I read both of your posts, very interesting. Dude, have you seen BLUE VALENTINE? Kind of similar besides for the fact that you two aren't dating...but that didn't turn out too well in the end.

[Shepp]

Bro, I read both of your posts, very interesting. Dude, have you seen BLUE VALENTINE? Kind of similar besides for the fact that you two aren't dating...but that didn't turn out too well in the end.

I have not, should I?

[Shepp]

Hey,

It's not a good idea, Shepp. You're going to be used, for one thing.

Used for what?

[white123]

Hey,

 

Used for what?

 

 

common.. you know what she means.. admit it...

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Your friend sounds like a slut stay away from her

[Shepp]

common.. you know what she means.. admit it...

 

I genuinely don't man - I mean I figure your gonna say either for money or looking after the baby but I dunno which one!