femme4 Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 I dated this guy for about 3 months. We fell for each other almost immediately, and the relationship progressed fairly quickly. I'm usually very cautious and slow to get involved, but he was very attentive and was the one initiating the faster pace, so I went along with it because we were both obviously so smitten with each other. Then out of the blue (right after valentine's day) he started acting distant, but I hung back and kept my cool. When we finally got together after about a week, he initiated 'the talk' and said that he felt like we were at a point where we needed to define things, but that he didn't feel ready to commit to a relationship - said that he was crazy about me and couldn't imagine a more perfect girl, but was getting cold feet for some reason and wanted to 'take a break' to figure things out. I said I didn't feel comfortable with a break and that I wasn't going to wait around for someone who wasn't sure about me or who I had to convince to be with me. So long story short, we ended up breaking up... I went into no contact, and a month later he messaged me on Facebook with small talk. I really fell hard for this guy and want him back, so after a few messages back and forth that didn't seem to be going anywhere, I casually mentioned that it would be nice to catch up over coffee sometime. A week later I got this response: "I'd love to catch up over coffee some time. (Full disclosure - part of the slow delay was me trying to figure out if I could handle such a thing, but really... how could I pass up such great company even if im still in a weird place re:dating) Let me know if you're ever free :)" I do want him back, so I'm wondering if anybody has any advice on how to go about getting him back or has had a similar situation. Am I just clinging on to false hopes, or do you think there's a chance? I just really don't want to get my hopes up...
OwlSoul Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 I do want him back, so I'm wondering if anybody has any advice on how to go about getting him back or has had a similar situation Keep it simple&stupid. To not trying to get someone back is the best way to get the person, in my point of view. Recently I started feeling myself back to the time when I did not date my ex yet. It's a totally different feeling, when you realize you can be happy without the person. So welp, if you'd be able to recreate this in yourself, it would really help to look less worried and more confident. I am not sure about the chances. Going to a similar date by myself soon (although it is a bit more relationship-directed). So let's keep in touch and see where it will lead
na49 Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 You can cling onto the false hope for the rest of your life. In the end, it's up to him to come back. The way you get your ex back is by living without them. and realizing that no matter what you do, you can't control another person or make them love you again. They have to realize what they're missing and come back. Go ahead and meet up with him. See what happens.
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