femme4 Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 I dated this guy for about 3 months. We fell for each other almost immediately, and the relationship progressed fairly quickly. I'm usually very cautious and slow to get involved, but he was very attentive and was the one initiating the faster pace, so I went along with it because we were both obviously so smitten with each other. Then out of the blue (right after valentine's day) he started acting distant, but I hung back and kept my cool. When we finally got together after about a week, he initiated 'the talk' and said that he felt like we were at a point where we needed to define things, but that he didn't feel ready to commit to a relationship - said that he was crazy about me and couldn't imagine a more perfect girl, but was getting cold feet for some reason and wanted to 'take a break' to figure things out. I said I didn't feel comfortable with a break and that I wasn't going to wait around for someone who wasn't sure about me or who I had to convince to be with me. So long story short, we ended up breaking up... I went into no contact, and a month later he messaged me on Facebook with small talk. I really fell hard for this guy and want him back, so after a few messages back and forth that didn't seem to be going anywhere, I casually mentioned that it would be nice to catch up over coffee sometime. A week later I got this response: "I'd love to catch up over coffee some time. (Full disclosure - part of the slow delay was me trying to figure out if I could handle such a thing, but really... how could I pass up such great company even if im still in a weird place re:dating) Let me know if you're ever free :)" I do want him back, so I'm wondering if anybody has any advice on how to go about getting him back or has had a similar situation. Am I just clinging on to false hopes, or do you think there's a chance? I just really don't want to get my hopes up...
Treasa Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 You're clinging to false hope, hon. He's had some space, and he still doesn't want to be with you. He just wants to ease his guilt or keep you around as a backup. Tell him no thanks and move on, or just don't respond at all. Seriously, don't be with a guy unless he is crazy about you. And this guy isn't. Also, when a guy moves fast in the beginning, I think it's even more important to slow things down and set a pace. 1
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