NicoleB Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 (edited) My boyfriend and I have been going out since the end of high school, we are both in 2nd year university now. I've had a "friend" I met in one of my classes and she hung out with my and my boyfriend a lot. Initially I was a bit worried because she is really pretty and thinner than I'm, but I never thought too much of it. My boyfriend and I have been really close for such a long time and I can't believe he would do this... I still have a few exams left and I'm so sad I can't even focus properly. <links to personal pictures redacted> Edited April 12, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
CarrieT Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 First off, do you have her permission to post her picture to strangers? Because if you don't, you should be ashamed. Secondly, if you boyfriend broke up with you to date someone else, you should be grateful. A lot of guys your age would just do it behind your back so at least he has enough grace to end your relationship before seeing other people. Third, if all you are worried about is your looks, then the last thing you should be worried about is relationships. 3
sb129 Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 This isn't about your looks or even her looks- its about him and the fact that he is a young guy who is not looking to settle down with a life partner anytime soon. Going after your ex's friend isn't the most tasteful thing to do, but as Carrie says at least he was upfront about it. It is most definitely NOT about your nose, your nose is perfectly fine. If you start on the path of thinking you have to drastically change things about your physical appearance to maintain a R with a man, then you are going to be very unhappy for a long time.
OwlSoul Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 It is most definitely NOT about your nose, your nose is perfectly fine. If you start on the path of thinking you have to drastically change things about your physical appearance to maintain a R with a man, then you are going to be very unhappy for a long time. Ofc, if she will be going to a gym and changing her appearance just for her partner she will deffinetely fail. Because the partner will feel it and gain control over her. However, if a person does not feel comfortable having some appearance issues, why not to change in order to feel better just to feel better? It would boost self-esteem and generally help to balance her life.
Author NicoleB Posted April 12, 2013 Author Posted April 12, 2013 (edited) If you boyfriend broke up with you to date someone else, you should be grateful. A lot of guys your age would just do it behind your back so at least he has enough grace to end your relationship before seeing other people. If all you are worried about is your looks, then the last thing you should be worried about is relationships. I've known her for a while and practically " took her in" when she didn't have too many friends. I even let her hang out with me and my bf. Secondly, you think I should be grateful that my boyfriend broke up with me to go out with one of my "friends". Third, you don't think looks are a crucial part of a relationship for either genders? Edited April 12, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Civility and respect
Author NicoleB Posted April 12, 2013 Author Posted April 12, 2013 Ofc, if she will be going to a gym and changing her appearance just for her partner she will deffinetely fail. Because the partner will feel it and gain control over her. However, if a person does not feel comfortable having some appearance issues, why not to change in order to feel better just to feel better? It would boost self-esteem and generally help to balance her life. I already go to the gym at least 4 times a week. I play tennis, volleyball and jog very frequently. Gain control? What are you talking about?
OwlSoul Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 Sometimes some girls change their hair color/sizes/dressing because of the person they are trying to attract. It works first time. But welp, you're doing it because of this person, to please him and etc. And the parter feels it, feels more powerful and more confident about your feelings, gains the control. As a result, he feels less interested in you. she is really pretty and thinner than I'm I already go to the gym at least 4 times a week. I play tennis, volleyball and jog very frequently. Sounds like you aren't doing enough, if you feel like someone else is cuter.
CarrieT Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 I've known her for a while and practically " took her in" when she didn't have too many friends. I even let her hang out with me and my bf. What does that have to do with anything? Secondly, you think I should be grateful that my boyfriend broke up with me to go out with one of my "friends". Yes. Again, a lot of guys cheat. He could have done that with you. The fact that he broke up with you to be with someone else shows a modicum of honor. Third, you don't think looks are a crucial part of a relationship for either genders? They are, but in the way you are presenting your situation shows a level of shallowness (i.e., "look everyone, compare ME with HER and tell me what I can do because she is thinner than me!") Ick.
sb129 Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 However, if a person does not feel comfortable having some appearance issues, why not to change in order to feel better just to feel better? It would boost self-esteem and generally help to balance her life. Did you look at her picture? She's cute, and young with nice skin and a nice figure. There is a BIG difference between an overweight person losing a few pounds to feel better about themselves and a 20 year old girl thinking her nose is the reason her boyfriend broke up with her.
Recommended Posts