lastresort Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 My xgf asked me this week if I would take her on a day date today, Friday. We have plans to go to San Diego for the afternoon have lunch and hit some museums. I am way stoked. Just a little nervous of what is expected. I go to her house almost every night and snuggle and rub her to sleep. Some times sex happens. The hardest part is not talking about being back together with out pressuring her. How do I fight the urge to talk about it. I love her so much and really want this to work out. Thank you for any advice.
january2011 Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 You're in limbo and it sounds like you've fallen into a friends-with-benefits arrangement. Talk to her about trying again. If you cannot talk to her openly about how you feel, then I'd say that a second chance is not likely to happen.
Author lastresort Posted April 12, 2013 Author Posted April 12, 2013 I do talk to her about getting back together. She says its too soon and she wants me to quit putting pressure on her about it. I can tell she is kind of coming around about rekindling. She is starting to initiate things like holding my hand, kissing me, bitting me (I know weird but something were into) inviting me to join her and her son for lunch. I don't know. I see the FWB thing too, but we have a lot of history.
TaraMaiden Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 I do talk to her about getting back together. She says its too soon and she wants me to quit putting pressure on her about it. I can tell she is kind of coming around about rekindling. She is starting to initiate things like holding my hand, kissing me, bitting me (I know weird but something were into) inviting me to join her and her son for lunch. I don't know. I see the FWB thing too, but we have a lot of history. History means phukkall. You broke up. There IS no history, because if history mattered it would be stopping her phukking you over. History has no relevance to her at all. She's using you. She's enjoying having you where she wants you. And you like being there. So this is ABSOLUTELY WITHOUT ANY DOUBT a FWB situation. Suck it up, hun..... You're either completely fine with it, or you aren't. She's stalling you and will carry on stalling you. But while you sit up and beg like a good little puppy, she will reward you with the biscuit....
ThorntonMelon Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Watch "He's just not that into you". You're the character who pines after Charlotte Johannsen (not Bradley Cooper's character, the real estate agent). Not fair to you - but then again, you call the shots, if she doesn't want to be your official, out in the open, spend real time together girlfriend, why treat her like one?
Author lastresort Posted April 13, 2013 Author Posted April 13, 2013 Well the date went good. We talked and walked a bunch, shopped and had good time. Had some of the best sushi ever too. We talked about our future. She agrees that we can be together and told me nothing has really changed in our relationship since the BU. We just don't have the "title" of bf/gf. The one thing she said was that she doesn't have to ask me permission to hang out with her friends now. Which is a relief for her. I understand that, no biggie. It is like we're still together. She said she still needs time to figure out what she wants to do. One catch is she wants another kid and my XW had me get a vasectomy then divorced me a year later. Any ways just wanted to give an update.
thefooloftheyear Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Well the date went good. We talked and walked a bunch, shopped and had good time. Had some of the best sushi ever too. We talked about our future. She agrees that we can be together and told me nothing has really changed in our relationship since the BU. We just don't have the "title" of bf/gf. The one thing she said was that she doesn't have to ask me permission to hang out with her friends now. Which is a relief for her. I understand that, no biggie. It is like we're still together. She said she still needs time to figure out what she wants to do. One catch is she wants another kid and my XW had me get a vasectomy then divorced me a year later. Any ways just wanted to give an update. No biggie, huh? I think she is stringing you along...just by these comments bolded. If she was really into making this work she wouldnt give a crap about this...I hope you dont get your hopes up too much.. I do wish you well... TFOY
Author lastresort Posted April 13, 2013 Author Posted April 13, 2013 Thanks for the quick reply. I admit I smothered her. She loves to go out with her friends. It Is no biggie, honestly. I just want her to be happy and she wants me to be happy. We have fun together but I realize that you do need apart time and fun with friends. We get to work together today for 8 hours then it will be a week until I get to hang and see her again. It will be hard. She is the first person to call me every day and the last. She chooses to I don't call her unless it is work related or response to her. I know I am just setting myself up for more pain trying to keep her in my life.
thefooloftheyear Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Thanks for the quick reply. I admit I smothered her. She loves to go out with her friends. It Is no biggie, honestly. I just want her to be happy and she wants me to be happy. We have fun together but I realize that you do need apart time and fun with friends. We get to work together today for 8 hours then it will be a week until I get to hang and see her again. It will be hard. She is the first person to call me every day and the last. She chooses to I don't call her unless it is work related or response to her. I know I am just setting myself up for more pain trying to keep her in my life. Understand when I say this I dont intend to be the "wet banket"(thats Tara M's title anyway), but the reality is that people who are in a relationship and are in love, dont make proclamations like this. Sure, they may go out with friends once in a while, but the reality is that usually those types of outings are because the two of you cant go out together(one has to work or whatever)..It almost seems as though she is using that as a tool to retain her independence in this deal. That is a bad sign, imo, unless you just want a buddy or something... I wish you well... TFOY
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