Standard-Fare Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 (edited) So I've opened to mind to online dating recently (after trying it a handful of times in the past). I got a message from a guy who was cute and seemed interesting. He definitely sparked my curiosity like so few guys online can do. After we exchanged a couple messages, I cut to the chase and asked if he wanted to hang out. He said "absolutely," but said he was swamped with working on his dissertation that week. I told him to get in touch whenever things calmed down. He messaged me not one but two weeks later, on a Monday, and asked me when I was free. I said "Thursday or Friday could work. How about you?" No response. Well, Wednesday came and I hadn't heard from him, so I gave him my cell number in case he ended up wanting to text. The weekend passed, I didn't hear from him, and expected to never hear from him again. I just shrugged it off. But on Tuesday of that week, I got a text from him. He apologized sincerely for falling out of touch, said his grandfather had died and that had required him to travel out of town... but said he "really wanted to meet up" and he asked again when I was free. I gave him specific dates and he responded immediately -- he wasn't available for the times I named, but he asked about others. So I gave him a couple more dates when I was free. One of those dates was today, which passed without a peep from him. The other is this coming weekend and honestly I'd really like to know if I'm going on a date because I need to plan around it. At this point, though, I'm obviously frustrated... and very confused? Because dude, if you don't want to do this, you don't need to keep contacting me! We don't even know each other. Just fall off the face of the planet and I won't give a sh*t. But instead, he's shown genuine interest at weird sporadic intervals then failed to follow through. Do I try to check in with him? (And if so, is there any gentle way to be like "You're flaky and this is your last chance"?) Or if he does text again, should I just blow him off? Edited April 12, 2013 by Standard-Fare
pyramid Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 Don't plan around this guy!!! You have given him a zillion chances. He's juggling other girls and you're a backup plan, sorry to tell you. Ignore. No more contact. Next! 2
SJC2008 Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 Think about it this way: If he looked like Jobba the Hut would you put up with this? I didn't think so, stop hanging around.
Mary Shadows Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 I had a similar situation happen to me as well. This guy was the one to reach out to me first, then make lunch plans and flake on them. Then he reached out to me days later (just like your guy). Then reach out again and then say he was "in the hospital." I agree that you shouldn't plan around this fool. You've made an effort on your part to show interest. If he doesn't respond, don't contact him. He doesn't sound like a stand up guy at all.
aussietigerwolf Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 I was talking to a guy like that too and honestly since I've changed my number he can fall off the face of the earth
ChessPieceFace Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 He's juggling other girls and you're a backup plan, sorry to tell you. This seems likely.
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 I would abort before you invested anything in him.
Author Standard-Fare Posted April 12, 2013 Author Posted April 12, 2013 I agree with you all. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt with his hopefully valid excuses (dissertation, grandpa dying), but this is just way too much bullsh*t to take from a guy I've never even met. He actually (of course) texted this morning asking about Saturday. I'm just not going to respond. He can see what that feels like. 4
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