lando Posted September 16, 2004 Posted September 16, 2004 Hello all, it's been a long time since I checked this place out. The last time being when I was having some girl problems... Well, this time, I wouldn't say i'm having any problems, but i'm just unsure of where things are at with the girl in question. Here's the background info, starting about 4 months ago: I met her at work, I started talking to her one day, things were cool. From that point, after a bit of time, we made plans to hang out. We set the date for sunday, and she said she'd call... Well, she didn't call. So, I was kinda and whatnot. I didn't end up seeing her until thursday at work, and the first thing she did was tell me exactly what happend and sincerely apologized. So, we set it up again for sunday... this time, she called, but due to circumstances we didn't do anything, again... So, I decided to give it one last go... We set it up, and yet again, it didn't happen. Same thing, circumstances. I gave up from there... Fast forward a few months.. I hadn't really talked to her too much, just occasionally... One day I was in a REALLY good mood, so I started talking to her again. It came up that i'm learning to speak hindi, and she thought that was really cool... So, we started a little thing where I'd give her a new word each day, blah blah blah. Basically, her & I were talking again. So then, one day at work (we work in a restaurant), I was in back doing some of my duties before I was done for the day... She walks back and tells me that she is getting off soon, to which I replied that I was also getting off right away. She invited me to sit with her in the lounge with her, I said sure. So, I finished up, got changed, and went over to meet her. Her & I ended up sitting down with another co-worker of ours. We ordered some food, ate & started talking. At that point, the guy that was with us got up and went to talk to some other guy, and never returned, which was great because her & I talked for 3 hours after that! It was a great talk! I liked the girl before, but I learnt so much about her (and vise versa, her about me) during the talk with her, that I was amazed & wowed. We talked about so many different things, from our middle names to what we look for in relationships (which I will add was very much alike). We even talked about our unsucessful attempts at getting together in the past... It was late by the time we parted ways... When even talking about how long we had been talking, she commented that if she wasn't having a good time, she never would have stayed as long as she did. Her & I also made plans to get together and watch an east indian movie, but didn't set a date when. So, a couple days later, I see her at work, and we're talking about when we can get together. This time, it was all her when it came to when and whatnot. I basically was just like "yup, sounds good". So, the day comes, she calls, she comes over. I made popcorn, and we shared it on the couch. We just watched the movie, I didn't try anything. She ended up REALLY liking the movie, and asked if I had any others like it, which I answered yes, and we can watch one whenever she wants to. Since then, there have been a good number of times that her & I have talked. We haven't gotten together again though. A guy that I work with saw her & me talking one day, and after she left to do something, he came right over and said "dude, she's totally into you!"... This guy had no idea about anything to do with her (the fact that I like her, the 3 hour talk, nothing...) Since i'm oblivious to any signs that a girl may give, I said to him "that's cool, but what makes you say that?"... He answered that everything from her posture, the way she talked, and all the eye contact, that it was 'guaranteed!'... I gave her a call a couple days ago, and she was with a girlfriend of hers... So, we were talking, things were good, and her friend told her to tell me that she says 'hi'... I've never met her friend, but her wanting to say hi makes me think that she's heard about me, and not only that, but that she's heard good things about me... Maybe i'm crazy, but if she had mentioned bad things to her friend about me, I don't think she (her friend) would be wanting to say hi to me, or anything for that matter. And here we are today, which is also kinda the reason why i'm posting this... I got called into work to train a new dishwasher, and she started a half hour after I did. So im back in the recruit (dish) area training, and every time she would come back, she's stay behind and we'd talk... every time... And, afterwards when I was finished and changed, I was out front sitting down, she came over a number of times to talk some more! We always do have lots of eye contact, I will say that. Here's the reason why i'm posting this today... Two people I work with (who are friends with eachother) know that I like her. As I was told by one of them, they were both talking to her one day, and one of them asked "so how are things going with landon?"... Her response was 'good, but we're just friends', as I was told (sorry, no exact quote)... This kinda bugs me, the her mentioning 'only friends'... There are a couple ways to look at it, I suppose... In relation to myself, when people ask me how things are going with her, I say 'good, but i'm not going to get ahead of myself'... Maybe she's going along the same lines?... Another possibility would be that she really just didn't want to release the info with a couple guys from work... Granted, she knows them and everything, but isn't really buddy/buddy with them... Or maybe she only really looks at me as just a friend... I dunno, everybody that has witnessed us interacting, and everybody else who hasn't but I've talked to about it, says that she likes me, but here I am, posting this for all of you. What do you think? btw, thanks for letting me get this off my chest
mighty bop Posted September 16, 2004 Posted September 16, 2004 I would go all the way back to where you guys first set a date to hang out. It didn't happen three times in a row, and it was her fault everytime. To me that's a really bad first impression, no matter what the reason she gave. If you like someone, you would make damn sure you kept your word to make it to that date. Anyways, she didn't even call, like she said she would, which is even worse. So anyways, now that you guys are talking a lot and are getting somewhat close, you might just be in the friends zone and not even know it. Actually, I'm telling you that you are unless you do something about it. Fast. One thing that might and probably will get in the way is that you two work together. When this happens relationships hardly ever work out. I've been there 4 times already. You see each other so much and just get sick of them because you see them at work AND off work and it's like "now I see you from every angle already and it's old." I don't know. Another thing is she might not want people to think you two are together because it might interfere with work and she could get in trouble/fired. She might think others will think things, favoritism is going on, etc. It's hard to explain but maybe you know what I mean. If I were you, I would ask her out on a date, then try and make a move or something before it's too late. By the way, how old are you two? And are you both servers at this restaurant? Chris
Author lando Posted September 16, 2004 Author Posted September 16, 2004 In response to your reply, I guess this is where there is a couple good things... I'm a kitchen guy and she's front of house. Not only that, but we work completely opposite shifts, so basically, I will rarely ever see her at work. I work the day shift, and she works nights... I'm usually out of the the building before she even starts her shift. I know that there were 3 times before where it didn't happen, and I thought the same thing that you did, and that's why I gave up on it. This is at least 3 months after that though... I'd like to think that the 3 hour talk sparked something, even if it just is a little bit of interest in her, because I can go from there. Oh, and to answer your age question, im 20, she's 19. I will also agree that I need to do something, and quick. It's a bit difficult, I will add, though. She goes to school in the morning, and she works 3 nights a week.. In between, she has a lot of schoolwork and studying as well. I work 4/10hr shifts at work, and frequent the gym afterwards. Thanks for the input, it's appreciated... Anyone else?
Papillon Posted September 16, 2004 Posted September 16, 2004 TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL, SILLY!!!!!!! Of course you're "just friends"...did you expect her to tell eveyone that the two of you are an item when it's not true (yet) ???
mighty bop Posted September 16, 2004 Posted September 16, 2004 OK so the seeing each other at work all the time thing is out. That's good. I still think standing you up 3 times means a lot. You shouldn't ever forget about that. I would have given up after the first stand up. The three hour talk probably did mean something. She could have just been nice or she was truly interested in you. Only you would know that. Sounds like she has a somewhat busy schedule. So it makes things a little harder. I would make your move pretty soon, see what she says, then move on if she still wants to remain friends. Of course she will still want to remain your friend and then get jealous when you start hitting on the other girls at work. Then she will be sorry. If this girl aint down, go to the gym and check out the girls there. They are waiting for you............ Chris
Author lando Posted September 17, 2004 Author Posted September 17, 2004 Originally posted by Papillon TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL, SILLY!!!!!!! Of course you're "just friends"...did you expect her to tell eveyone that the two of you are an item when it's not true (yet) ??? haha, wow! I read this post before going to work this morning, and It made me laugh, because you are absolutely right!
jen03 Posted October 30, 2004 Posted October 30, 2004 hey lando it's possible she said 'but we're only just friends' in hopes of hinting her disappointment that you haven't initiated further moves or shown her you're truly interested in dating her. sometimes girls can be passive like that. best thing to do is to show her you're interested romantically. she might be confused right now as to where things are going, and maybe cannot muster up to tell you how she feels about you, herself! go for it. this picture looks perfect to me so far...good luck to you! let her know how you feel, and everything should fall into place...
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