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The 20 year old virgin? Do I need to get it done?


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Posted

So, I'm going to turn 20 in a couple weeks and I'm little bit sad. I've had a few girlfriends before and I actually prefer the relationship and never though of sex. So I'm a virgin. I'm in college at a great university and doing very well, but it's hard to to get a bit jealous sometimes. Most of my friend have already had sex and some of my friends are pressuring me to get it done. I didn't really care about it before but I'm starting to get a little desperate. I'm actually a pretty nice guy, I do tons of volunteer work during the school year and wouldn't mind helping anyone out. I don't think I'm terrible looking. Should I just go to a party on campus and get it done with a drunk girl? This issue is really bugging me.

 

2 pictures of me: Let me know if I need to change anything ladies. I do work out but I'm more of an ectomorph:

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Image - TinyPic - Free Image Hosting, Photo Sharing & Video Hosting

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Posted

Wow, you're actually really cute!

 

I'm a guy but you're kinda hot!

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Posted

You look fine.

I want your cat.

Being a virgin at 20 is fine. I was.

Don't do it with some drunk girl. Just wait for your next relationship.

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Posted

There is nothing wrong with you physically, so get that out of your head.

 

My husband was a virgin until he was 21. He was a bright student at a prestigious University, an athlete, and an all around great guy. He had spent his teenage years focused on academics and athletics. He had girlfriends, but most if them were of the wait for marriage sexual variety. He was from a small town.

 

Anyway, I say all of that to say, no, do not get drunk just to get it over with. My husband finally lost his virginity one summer on break from college back in his hometown. It was with a girl he had always had a crush on, and I know he does not regret how his first time went down.

 

You will be much happier to let this happen organically. You are attractive, and I assume intelligent. Find a quality woman and let things happen naturally.

 

I would say good luck, but that sounds a little creepy.

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Posted

You won't be a virgin for much longer.

 

And being a virgin at 20 is no big deal. Quite common, actually.

Posted

Honestly sex with some hella drunk girl probably wouldn't be as good as waiting for a girl who you like through and through, and vice versa.

 

Sex is a whole lot better when there's a personal connection, in my opinion. I know it sounds cheesy, but I think most members here will attest to it.

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Posted

You're really cute. :love:

 

Ignore the pressure and don't worry about experience level. Most people will probably tell you that each experience and partner varies. Your partner will teach you, and you'll teach her. I feel like you'll regret it a lot more if you decide to get it over with instead of waiting for a girl who really gives you butterflies. Sex is quite intimate and may affect your emotional commitment. You'll know when you're ready. Don't force the sex. Any girl who judges you for you lack of a sexual history is not worth your time. I think it's really sweet and admirable that you're a virgin.

  • Author
Posted

Thanks for the input guys. Yeah I know it's not a race but I'm certain that pretty much all my friends have gotten it done. So I feel pressured to do so.

Posted
Thanks for the input guys. Yeah I know it's not a race but I'm certain that pretty much all my friends have gotten it done. So I feel pressured to do so.

 

Tales of young men's erotic prowess and adventures are often greatly over exaggerated. Don't put too much stock in what they say. Focus on you.

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Posted
Tales of young men's erotic prowess and adventures are often greatly over exaggerated.

 

...and saying so, hurts their precious egos. :cool:

Posted

Hey man, I sold away my v-card at 19. Never really gave it a second thought. Plus I'm STD free (and free of the most invasive STD there is: children) so it could have been a lot worse. Only real issue is not really knowing what you're doing for the first time. No girl wants to play teacher.

 

So, with that, watch some porn or something. The educational kind anyway.

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Posted

There is nothing wrong if you are a virgin (I am too). Do not rush just to get it done. Wait till you find that special girl.

Posted
...and saying so, hurts their precious egos. :cool:

 

That is the main reasoning for saying it. At least the funniest.

Posted

I was a virgin until I was 20. No big whoop!

Posted
Should I just go to a party on campus and get it done with a drunk girl? This issue is really bugging me.

 

Getting hit with a sexual assault charge might bug you a lot more than your v-card.

No one cares that much if you are a virgin or not, it's your thing to lose or keep.

But, like most things in life, doing something simply to "get it done" will probably not be reflected upon in the best light in later days.

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Posted
How does one have a couple girlfriends and not have sex with any of them? What's the point of having a girlfriend if you're not having sex?

 

Companionship, friendship, kissing, early exploration of your sexual self does not have to include intercourse.

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Posted

I guess I don't get this whole social/peer pressure to become sexually active. Maybe it's different for guys, but I knew girls who were like this as well as a kid. Quite honestly, I never felt that. Or at least I never discussed it with others at the time - guy or girl friends - during my teens. And I stayed a virgin until I was 19.

 

Be warned, however, that once you do IT for the first time, you will not look at people the same way again. There is something to be said for being innocent of things. Once you start doing IT no matter what the situation you will be forever changed, and in many ways, not for the better. Still, it's part of life and we will all do just that at some point.

Posted

Your first time should be with someone you really care about

There is nothing wrong with you

You are good looking guy, not amazing but still good

and you are nice

what you really need if confidence

 

I'm so in love with your cat and keep up the good work

Posted
True. But I feel like sex really brings it all together into one awesome whole. (No pun intended)

 

That's how you see it. I was just giving examples on why people might date but not have sex. Like you asked for.

Posted
Thanks for the input guys. Yeah I know it's not a race but I'm certain that pretty much all my friends have gotten it done. So I feel pressured to do so.

 

I sort of get that feeling. I'm 19 about to be 20, and I'm still a virgin. It feels really bad and I think about it every day. I suppose I link my lack of a sex life to my desirability, it doesn't seem like anyone really wants me so yeah. I and I'm not really one of those guys with options, so I can't really afford to have high standards. All of my friends have had sex and I sort of get jealous when I hear about their stories of hookups or when they get a girl interested in them. A lot of my friends miss signs of interest as well and I'm surprised they do miss it. I don't think I've ever seen signs of interest from a girl.

 

You don't seem that bad, I'm sure it will happen in time with some girl you like. As for I, it's a long road for me...

Posted
There is nothing wrong if you are a virgin (I am too). Do not rush just to get it done. Wait till you find that special girl.

 

What if it doesn't happen until 50? What then? Waste your youth and vitality as a celibate because the "special girl" doesn't come along?

  • Author
Posted

When I said drunk I meant picking up a "loose" girl at a party. I could have worded things better.

Posted

I just checked out your pictures. OMG, you have nothing to worry about!! :laugh:

 

Also, the second picture is SO FREAKING ADORABLE.

 

Now I wish I was 20. >.>

Posted

OP, you sort of remind me of myself. I also like your cat. :p

 

Same age as Pompeii, too, and in the same boat as both he and you, OP. I don't consider it a big deal, I'm more so concerned about a girl thinking it's odd, and I figure she'll have a clue regardless...

Posted
When I said drunk I meant picking up a "loose" girl at a party. I could have worded things better.

 

How is this wording things better? ::headdesk::

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