amolya Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 I joined OKcupid a few weeks ago one guy sent me a message asking me about a book I liked, and we got talking and turns out we have a lot in common! We started talking last weekend, and on monday, he invited me to this trade show thing since he had a spare ticket as his friend dropped out. When we met, I reached out to hug him, as I usually do, but he held out his hand, and said he wasn';t a hug guy esp to strangers ^^ Anyway we walked around and talked a lot and had a good time. The next 2 days we texted a lot. On Thurs morning, I invited him to a play thing in the morning at uni, since I could bring guests and thought he';d be interested. He wasn't going to come at first, as he was tired in the morning, but came anyway. We ended up spending the rest of the day together, talking, and walking and having great banter. In all, we spent 12 hours together / Problem is, I'm not sure if he wants to be friends or if he is attracted to me too. He messaged me on a dating site and texts me alot and told me he thinks im really cool and has fun. On the other hand, he hasn't kissed me or done anything like hold my hand. I touch a guy that I'm attracted to a lot, so i often touch his shoulder, or when sitting down will touch his legs with mine, he wont move away but he won't initiate either. We walked his dog in a park at the end of our fun day, and i linked arms as i was cold and he was like "yeah it is cold". He's otherwise a confident, funny, witty guy who I really like. I want to kiss him, but don't know if it will ever get to that point. Should I ask him straight up? Is it possible he's just shy when it comes to dating/sex?
CryForNoOne Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 How old is he? It's entirely possible he is shy. Many guys are like that. It's also possible he likes you as a friend and isn't attracted to you. Do you know anything about his dating / relationship history? That might give you a clue as to how experienced he is. You may just need to make the first move to find out one way or the other.
meghann8 Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 In my experience, no guy will hang out with you for 12hrs and NOT like you. Also from experience, if a guy is tired and thinks of you as only a friend, he'd most likely not go to an event in the morning. So, I think he's interested in you and definitely enjoys your company. He's most likely shy and might not know what to do. I'd suggest not overpower him with your experience, but rather play it cute and go slowly with him. If you guys are sitting next to each other and your legs are touching, wait for a good time, like a break in a good conversation, and go in for a kiss. You might get a feel for the right moment. That moment might also not come in that conversation. Would you be okay with him as just a friend? If not, might as well kiss him at an opportune moment. If you are, you should be careful so you don't ruin what you guys already have going for you. Maybe suggest a more couple-y date, like dinner? Go to more romantic places? Those scenes might give him a clue. 1
Author amolya Posted April 12, 2013 Author Posted April 12, 2013 Thanks. He's 24, I'm 22. He hasn't flirted with me, but yeah he does message me every day. I would be ok with him as a friend, if that's that he wants because we really do have a good thing. So I'm a bit nervous/scared to go in for the kiss....most I can let myself do is hint that I like him ^^. He hasn't asked me out on anything romantic yet, thou he did say we should go to a gig of his friends band some time, so maybe some drink and dancing will help. Should I carry on how it is already, and then maybe ask him! if after a few weeks I still don't know what the deal is?
meghann8 Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 If after weeks of no initiation towards a romantic date, he might just want to be friends for now. There are some guys who want to become friends with a girl first, and then ask to date. This is rare, but it's happened to me before. I'd say be a little suggestive towards dating, maybe make a cute joke about your relationship/friendship and see how he responds, but don't push it, especially if there is a hint of a negative response. It sounds like you guys have a good connection and you don't want to ruin it if he just wants time to get to know you more. Going out to the bars with him will most likely give you a better idea of what he wants. He could be a total gentleman and not make any advances, so be aware of that and don't feel hurt if there are no conclusions. But alcohol is a good truth serum when you guys feel comfortable as friends first! Just make sure to not do anything too risque to make the next day awkward. If you play it right, he could see how fun you are in a nightlife setting and be even more interested in you!
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