Cmshinedown Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 I'm new here and wasn't sure were to post. A unbiased opinion on my problem is pretty much needed. About 4 months ago I added a girl on facebook who I was mutal friends with just for the hell of it. We got talking and straight away hit it off, we even said it felt like we'd known each other for ages the way we were talking. I soon got her number and we pretty much spent all day, every day talking to each other. I invited her to my house one night and we just chilled and watched a couple of movies. We made out after and I took her home. So far so good. Here lies the problem. She didn't live in the same area so where I'm from. She was stopping here while she was off work. The place where she usually lives is a good 90 minute drive. But the thing was I feel pretty quick for this girl, she was smart, funny, gorgeous, etc. So I did something I normally wouldn't do. I waited for her to come back. About 3 weeks passed and I saw her again and we got to spend more time with each other, it was great. But she had to leave again, and I wasn't going to see her for two months. The thought of it killed me but I figured this girl would be worth it. We were flirting with each other all the time, saying we missed each other, etc. Then things started to slowly change. I saw her liking another guys photos and statuses and I got suspicious. I've been lied/cheated on before so I know the signs. I asked her, as a friend, if she was interested in this guy. She tells me she isint and that he's just a mate. So I leave it. Then out convos started to get less and less. She would put it down to work and being stressed so at the time I say if she needs anything to help just ask. Then more of the statuses she'd like from this guy kept coming on my newsfeed. I ask her again. She tells me that his gf had died of cancer a few months prior and that he's been talking to a girl and that she was happy to see him move on. So once again I leave it So we're texting and one night I tell her I have feelings for her, this being about 3 months into it. She says that she likes me but has just got out of a 4 year relationship and wants to be "friends FIRST and see where it goes" I agreed because I didn't want to rush into it. So she finally returns back to the area I live in. I go to the pub two days after she's back and I see her there. My heart went insane, I was a nervous wreck. But she's with her mates so I leave her to it, because the day before we had an arguement over me being annoyed over the fact I asked her if she wished to join me on a night out, she told me she might but never turned up. A few hours into the night, I text her saying I saw you but didnt want to get in the way and if she fancied a drink. She "surprise me" but followed up with "but you should get my mates one aswell". At this point I should of seen the massive red sign saying "STOP NOW" but at this point I'd had a few pints and hadn't seen her in 2 months. So I bought them, like the idiot that I am. So I bring them over, barely speaks to me and then goes over to the other side of the seating area to sit texting on her phone. I'd never felt so angry. I stormed off and pretty much lost my **** lol. Two months and I was treated like a stranger. So I wanted answers. So I calmed down and went to the club with her mates, who didn't mind me tagging along. We get the club and I get told; "I'm on a girls night, so can you leave me too it?" This after I bought her mates drinks. So at this point I was running purely on anger/alcohol, so it wasn't going to end well. In the end my male mate (remember it was a girl's night) had to pull me aside and tell me to leave it. He was right but at the time I was so angry, all these promises she'd made me were in vein. My best friend spoke to her and she told me "she liked me but I was too forward and we were going to be JUST friends, and that nobody else was invovled" Thing is from past conversations we had, I'm pretty sure "just" friends don't flirt or cuddle. Anyway long story short, she unfriends me on facebook and accuses me of trying to ruin her night because I'm selfish and only after myself. I apologised for my behaviour and said I'd stay away. Low and behold, my friend sends me a message telling me she spent the afternoon with that guy, who's only just getting over his GF dying of cancer. I'd never felt so betrayed, even though I've been cheated on. So I told her I knew and that I wish them all the best, obviouslt in a sarcastic tone lol She in turn has told me she wants nothing to do with me, and that "I've probably messed up being friends with her". Thing was we promised each other as friends that if anything came up we would tell each other. Had she of told me I would of walked away and avoided this. So did I **** up somewhere for her to do this? I've blocked her in fb and delted messages/contact info so I can't get in touch with her. Just feel like a right tool lol.
LeGenDary_Man Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 (edited) You should learn to control your actions better. Avoid consuming alcohol, if you can, specially during stressful times. Such drinks do not help. You have no obligation to buy drinks for "mates" of a girl (who is not in a relationship with you) just because she requests you to do so. Why should you be spending your money on her "mates" just to oblige a girl like that? (Guess what? She made you look like a fool in the bar in front of her "mates.") Learn a lesson from this experience; have some self-respect. Also, if she returns, do not accept her back. She have treated you poorly in front of her "mates" (correct me, if I am wrong here) and she may do it again. You just politely tell her to stick with her ungrateful "mates." Edited April 12, 2013 by LeGenDary_Man
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