londonlad Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 I find that women very rarely bring good feelings into my life. I've been an active dater for years now. And all I've had is problems, problems, problems. The main issue I have is the old unattractive personality . There are good reasons for this. I went through quite a lot of emotional trauma in my teens, which involved, being alone (not even seeing my family) for very long periods of time. I was basically very depressed, agoraphobic and suicidal. This lead to me being quite needy when it came to girls. I don't blame them for not wanting to date in those early years. But I've worked on that, big time. I'm now I'm a fully functioning adult. I work-out, got a great job etc. I've turned my life around through will power. My confidence is 1000 times higher. Because of the things I went through I have a very serious attitude to life. I like to be a good, kind, helpful, loving person to as many people as possible and spend my time on this earth well. When you've stood on a chair with a home made noose around your neck ready to kick it away only to change your mind only because of the grief it would cause your loved ones. It can't help but change you attitude to life . But being kind, helpful etc seems to put me in the category of "nice guy" = unattractive. Therefore I have near zero success with women except getting 3 to 5 dates out of them, no sex, no relationship. They see me as soft I think. I'm anything but, I just don't like to act like a dick or start fights. But I will if it's called for, no hesitation. I've been trying new ways of treating women lately and frankly it really pisses me off that I have to pretend to be a dick to get the girl. I hate it. First, I find it insulting that my true character is deemed undesirable. And second I hate having to summon up bad emotions to do things like say negs to a girl. If I treat someone like dirt it's because I actually think they are dirt. Why would I want that in a partner? This really makes me lose respect for women. And makes me very angry. Because, I feel really alone. I can't be myself or I get rejected and if I "treat em mean" I feel like they're into the fake persona not actual me. I've become far more cold and aggressive recently because of this which a caused an identity crisis. I'm unhappy and don't feel myself. Anyone, had similar experiences. Male or female? P.S. Being the real me means showing enthusiasm for someone. Not being super needy and expecting a girl to like that.
ses Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 (edited) Nice guys who expect ass are entitled jerks. I try to be nice and friendly to others but I don't want anything in return. Don't treat a relationship like a commodity. Maybe you are attracting the wrong type. Most women I know, myself included, don't like guys who act like dicks. It's an unattractive quality in a LTR. The "bad boy" is alluring for many because they exude confidence and go after what they want. Yes, confidence is incredibly sexy. Don't be a doormat. Be assertive and respectful. Change your expectations. Have a better opinion of women and reevaluate what you want in a partner. Edited April 11, 2013 by ses
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