meghann8 Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Where do I start...sorry if I don't put all the details in this original post. I'm not great at thinking of everything, especially when I'm frazzled. I guess to start, I'm a junior in college and I'm not too sure where I want to take my education just yet. This is adding stress to the work I already have to do, so maybe dating isn't the best idea at this time. This also explains my craziness for the second date with this guy.. There's this guy that I've known for years, but never really got to know until he finally asked me out last week. He's basically got everything in line. He already has this job offer that'll guarantee him a job for years. He's just set in life and is comfortable with money and could probably get any girl in his dreams. Anyway, our first date went amazing. Great conversation, lots of laughing, great dinner, and we even caught part of a hockey game! I thought we really hit it off and we ended the night with a kiss. Felt amazing! I hadn't been on a date in so long, and I was really happy that there was no awkwardness on uneasiness to the night. He was such a gentleman and he knew how to treat a woman. I loved every moment of that date. A few days later, we agreed to go on a second date. It started off fine with some joking around and easy conversation. We went to this nice restaurant and ordered our food. Then of course, I get all nervous and weird. I said something really weird about myself and he gave a hint of a disapproving look. We were talking about me being an athlete and how I didn't have too many friends because of the lack of time that I had. Whether I was reading him correctly or not, it got me even more flustered and nervous. So what do I do? I keep rambling on, trying to explain my life and why I spent so much time on my own and away from the social scene in high school. He asked questions trying to understand, but it only made me sound more like a lonely freak...ugh it was a mess. He gave me another weird look as if to tell me I was crazy. We both realized how dumb I sounded and it got a little awkward. So then I said, "feel free to run away." What an idiot. He blew it off and tried to make a joke of it, but it just didn't work. We completely diverged from talking about myself and talked about other things and that was alright. We got back to joking around and having a good time. Then we got back to talking about ourselves and our futures (not together, but about jobs and stuff like that). That's when I got all flustered again. He says that he's basically set in life, which I already know. So what do I say? That I have no future plans and that I'm not all that motivated. I told him that I was surprised that I even went to college. Weird looks start back up again, only with an added twinge of concern. He completely misunderstood me because I was basically lying to him about myself. I actually do have life plans. I'm just a little insecure about them because I don't yet have an internship for the summer. But I didn't say that. I didn't say that because I was so nervous and flustered. I just made myself sound like a floundering idiot. I think we talked about some other things and then decided to leave. I cooled it a little and confidence came back. We had a good rest of the time and we laughed here and there. He dropped me off at my place after some kisses. He's so passionate and handsome and perfect. Please tell me that I'm freaking out over nothing. It's been a couple days and I haven't heard from him. I sent him a text saying that I made some bread and asked if he wanted any. He hasn't responded, so it's not helping my mental state. I really want to have another date with this guy. I'm usually the cool and confident one and the guy is the one being all weird and awkward! So I'm not use to this feeling at all. Even if it doesn't end up working out after a while, that'd be fine with me. I just don't want to lose this opportunity with a great guy. PLEASE can anybody give me any advice so I can get another date with this guy? What do I say to explain myself? If I get another date with this guy, should I apologize and try to explain more (most likely a bad idea, unless someone can give me specific pointers). Or just tell me to cool it and stop freaking out about nothing? Anything will probably help.
Poppy fields Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 The baking bread things screams of domesticity which freaks some guys the freak out. Other than that, it just sounds like early dating jitters. I would not make too much out of it. Hopefully he gets in touch with you soon. DO NOT contact him again though. 1
ses Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Relax! Deep breaths. It's completely normal to feel nervous with someone you really like. I tend to be really shy and quiet when I'm around my crushes (and have said random things). Just gotta brush it off and refocus. You have to recognize that your date was just a normal person with interests. He sounded receptive but may have been turned off by your white lie. In the future just tell the truth and don't worry about impressing him. People want to know you as a person so keep that in mind. I wouldn't text him again until he responds. If he doesn't then I would take it as a lack of interest and move on. I know it sucks but he's not the only one out there. Don't worry about it. Good luck, and keep us updated. 1
Author meghann8 Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 Thanks, I won't text him again until he texts *fingers crossed*. The bread is all mine! Lol, if there's any more advice, please let me know
ChatroomHero Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 How do you handle it when the guy acts all weird, do you give him another chance or run for the hills thinking he is a weirdo? I am guessing you probably don't just dismiss those guys and if this guy is as good as you say he probably won't either. If he is really giving you funny looks because you don't have your life all figured out as a junior in college, then he is probably not that great of a catch. Anyone who *thinks* they have their life all figured out and planned before they work their first day out of college is pretty likely to get d*ck slapped by life. A great catch would want to be with you for who you are flaws and all, so don't put this guy on a pedestal until he shows you that is the case. 1
Author meghann8 Posted April 12, 2013 Author Posted April 12, 2013 Good point, ChatroomHero. Unless they're incessantly texting me, I'm okay with some turn-offs throughout the dating process. That's usually because the pros outweigh the cons. He doesn't text me constantly, which is throwing me off though. He actually texts me just enough, and maybe even a little less than I'd like, which is new for me. I'm used to texting into the night as the way to get to know someone, which is actually very impersonal now that I think about it. I like formal dinners, but it's been a while since I've had a 'first date' and it's pushing me out of my comfort zone. And feeling slightly uncomfortable about the setting doesn't help when I think this guy is really great and I'm nervous about making each date perfect. About the baking bread thing - he knows that I love to bake bread, and he's had some in the past. I made dinner rolls for my racing team and asked if he wanted some. Which, he did finally respond affirmatively ugh I haven't acted or felt like this since freshman year of highschool. So as you guys have said already, I just had some basic first date jitters and I'm worrying too much. Thanks for helping me! Feel free to keep replying. More advice and insight always helps!!
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