chaser0195 Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 If you were and your AP were both single would you want to have a relationship with them or were they not someone you would have considered under different circumstances? 1
Author chaser0195 Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 And to answer my own question, yes I would have considered having a relationship/dating him. I wasn't initially attracted to him but once I got to know him the attraction began. I can't say if we would have lasted long term but I would have been willing to try.
Henni Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Yes, I would have had a lot less reservations about being in a relationship with him if he were already single and it would have happened much quicker if he were. 1
loredo21 Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 hmmm. I probably stupidly would have tried it to see what happened. But I KNOW it wouldn't have lasted. There were so many unattractive things about him. I cannot be with someone with bad manners and his were off the charts poor. Plus he was young for my taste. would have got real old, real fast. the frat-boy things...yep. glad that's over.
lilmisscantbewrong Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 If we were both single, in another life (lol), yes. We had much in common.
Wellington Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Yes. Without a doubt. There were fireworks the second we met. The more I am w/o contact, the more my brain is functioning though. Even if I were everything he ever wanted, I would never be enough. I don't think he is capable of true love. He conquers then moves on.
DelusionalOne Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 I would. I wasn't really interested or attracted to him when we first met but as I got to know him ... How much we had in common but different enough to be interesting...
Realist3 Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Without a doubt I would today if we were both single.
Poppy fields Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 There was a time I would have, and indeed tried to. It did not work out though.
PurpleGal Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 Definitely. I think I can glean enough to get an idea of what he'd be like to live with, post-affair - some things that would be a challenge to work through, but also some really fantastic things.
Lillyfree Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 yes. i don't think it would have lasted though. even early on he mentioned us being together....that was at a time when i was still not overly invested - my response was that we would make a terrible couple. of course, as time went on i was seeing less and less of the bad and he became a perfect man in my eyes. after some time of NC i was able to see what he was really like - i'd give that relationship a couple of months, if that.
White Flower Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 If you were and your AP were both single would you want to have a relationship with them or were they not someone you would have considered under different circumstances? Most definitely I would have an R with him if he were single! I was with him because I loved him, not because the A was illicit or any thrill factor (even though there were some thrills). We have lived together (during his separation) and I did learn of a few quirks, but I accepted them. One of the quirks caused me to encourage him to get on anti-anxiety meds which he is taking to this day. This may be a rare thing to say on this board but I did a lot to improve xMM's overall mental and physical health. But that's a whole nother thread!
Summer Breeze Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 Like LFH and White Flower I fell in love with the man. I'm lucky enough to have the chance to see if dMM and I can make a go of it. It's really hard work but so far it's been worth it.
OpenBook Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 If you were and your AP were both single would you want to have a relationship with them or were they not someone you would have considered under different circumstances? Oh yes, absolutely!!! I fell for him for a reason, and it had nothing to do with his marital status. Just like other (single) guys I've fallen for since. It doesn't happen often (falling for someone), but when it does - it's like watching a tidal wave coming at you - there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop it. All you can do is ride the wave and hope you come out in one piece without drowning or getting slammed to the ground.
Got it Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 If you were and your AP were both single would you want to have a relationship with them or were they not someone you would have considered under different circumstances? Yes and we are.
psm04 Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 If you were and your AP were both single would you want to have a relationship with them or were they not someone you would have considered under different circumstances? If we were both single, we would have definitely been in a relationship. We had talked about this in the past. Idk if it would've worked out, but it would have been worth it to try. Makes me sad to think about it :-(
Wellington Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 Clarification.....the question was if we had been single would we have tried a relationship. Absolutely yes. Now that I know him fully, it never would have lasted had we been single as opposed to being married going into it as I now know he is incapable of truly "loving" someone. It would have ended either way. Married/single...
canuckprincess Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Without a doubt if he was single we would be together. I would bet my life on it!
MissBee Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 If you were and your AP were both single would you want to have a relationship with them or were they not someone you would have considered under different circumstances? Yes, I would definitely have. I got a chance to actually, but it still didn't work out because of distance and some other things, so being with him is out of my system, as affair or not, I just don't think it's meant to be. But how we relate and communicate are excellent and we're very compatible, so that is something about our relationship I'd want modeled in another one. There are equally things I wouldn't want though. I was fwb with another taken guy...it was not even an A in my mind. He wasn't single but I wasn't romantically interested, just sexually . There was no chance for sex to blur and turn to like and love, as he was simply someone whom I was not that compatible with and who didn't excite me emotionally and single or not, I wouldn't have dated him.
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