LK30 Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 (edited) Hi all, I've found myself involved in a little office romance, fling, whatever you want to call it! We're both single so no third party involved, and it's strange as I've worked with her for a few years but never had much to do with her but at Xmas we went out and had a cheeky flirt and kiss. We get on well but I never thought I'd have any luck as I'm rubbish with women. Back in March she texted me when she was on a night out and asked if I wanted to come round as she was home alone and a bit drunk. I knew what she was basically saying but didn't go. She's not long been single and expect she just wanted some male attention, and being the only single bloke in the office I suppose I had fairly good odds. Then when she and another workmate were on a night out a few weeks ago she encouraged me to come out with her and her mate, and we ended up kissing in a nightclub but I was sober. We ended up going back to hers and it went further. Part of me just thought 'enjoy yourself for once.' Things went ok and there was no awkwardness at work. As I knew her it didn't feel like a one night stand at all and was surprisingly passionate. Because nobody knows it's a bit of a rush and feels naughty even though we're not doing anything wrong. I thought it might be a one off but we've met up a few times since and history has repeated itself. She seems keen and compliments me, which is so nice to hear, and even had a cheeky discreet kiss at work - it was such a rush! I do worry a little because if anyone's seen the film 'friends with benefits' you know how that turned out! I read that women find it hard to separate intimacy from emotions so I'm not sure if I'm on dangerous ground. I admit I do have a feeling or two for her - after all, we've shared intimate moments and that's pretty difficult if you don't fancy each other! She told me her ex treated her really badly and was very derogatory, so expect she's got rose tinted glasses on with someone like me and I'm not doing anything special at all! She's been out of a long term r'ship for about 6 months now and I wonder if it's just a case of her wanting loads of attention because I'm being respectful and not just treating her as a 'notch on the bedpost!' She's even talked about us booking a hotel in the summer, so she's clearly not wanting to end it soon! She told me last week she wants to be 'exclusive,' i.e. not be with anyone else whilst we're having our 'liaison' which I think is a nice respectful thing to say and I agree with her. Kind of feels like I'm in a proper relationship!! What should I do? Should I just relax and enjoy some attention and compliments or is it all just a fantasy? Thanks for reading! Edited April 11, 2013 by LK30
ses Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Do you want to be exclusive with her? If you have feelings for her I think you should properly ask her out and define the terms of your relationship. She may want something more from you, and it's important to be honest with her. If you desire a FWB, then make it clear; if an exclusive relationship, then say it. Figure out what you want, and then convey it clearly and unambiguously. Dating coworkers can be awkward if things don't work out in the long-term so keep that in perspective. You don't want to be office gossip. Best wishes! 1
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