KansasChica Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Okay, so I've been seeing this guy for like two months. We both lead extremely busy lives, but try and see each other on the weekends and talk almost every day- either text (but not overkill) or on the phone. I feel like recently, however, I've been getting blown off more. When I text or call- he says he's busy and will call me back later. If he really liked me (especially in the early phases of a relationship, he would drop what he's doing to talk.. or is that asking too much). When we're alone, he's super attentive and sweet- kissing my head, etc etc. I'm definitely more of an anxious person, but I've been working hard at playing it cool and I don't want to blow anything. I just can't shake this gut feeling that he's not 100% into me. Is two months long enough time to ask him these things? Should I just let it develop naturally? I'm kind of a novice at the whole taking it slow thing- my last two relationships were really intense and I jumped into it quick. Thanks!!
Treasa Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Let it develop naturally and become more invested in your own hobbies. If he doesn't enhance good feelings and only makes you feel anxious, probably best to break things off. I get annoyed when anyone expects me to drop things unless it's an emergency. I have my own stuff to do and my own life to live. If we have plans, that's something else.
Poppy fields Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 How did jumping into those relationships quickly work out for you? If it was something like an emergency then I think he should try to attend to your needs. But, if he is truly busy, you are just going to have to give him a little space. I don't think I would bring this up this early in the relationship. Especially if it is just an instance of him not being at your beck and call. 1
Brunettie Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Maybe the honeymoon period is ending and he's feeling more comfortable in the relationship. You said yourself both you and he are busy. Maybe he simply cannot drop what he is doing to reply to a text or talk on the phone. But you said he will answer the phone and tell you he is occupied and will get back to you. That's good. He's not blowing you off, he's still answering the phone and letting you know what's going on and that he will talk to you when he can. I'd not worry about it too much right now.
january2011 Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 What's he doing when he's "busy" - is he working/socialising/relaxing? If it's something serious like work, then I'd probably accept the "too busy to talk" response. If he's just socialising or relaxing, a quick chat just to keep you interested shouldn't be a big deal. And then a suggestion to catch up with you later + follow through would be in order. Otherwise, I'd say that he's too busy to date and unavailable emotionally and/or physically. That is, in my opinion, people who are serious about dating will make time for it.
KatZee Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 In a healthy relationship, no one should be dropping ANYTHING at a seconds notice just for the other person. Each person is entitled to their own lives, and no one should ever be expected to stop what they're doing just for the sake of the other person, unless of course it's an emergency. If he's working out, or with family, or in the middle of a meal, or in the office, he shouldn't have to drop anything just to talk to you. Just wait. 3
clia Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 I feel like recently, however, I've been getting blown off more. When I text or call- he says he's busy and will call me back later. Does he call you back later? If he really liked me (especially in the early phases of a relationship, he would drop what he's doing to talk.. or is that asking too much). I think expecting him to drop what he is doing every time you text or call is a bit much. Things do tend to slow down a bit as a relationshp progresses. I just can't shake this gut feeling that he's not 100% into me. Is two months long enough time to ask him these things? Should I just let it develop naturally? Are you two exclusive yet?
Author KansasChica Posted April 12, 2013 Author Posted April 12, 2013 Thanks all- and I really don't expect him to drop things like work or anything, but when he's socializing with friends. I guess you're right though- I just can't shake this feeling that he's not fully interested in me, but I'm guessing that might be coming from anxiety that we're not exclusive and he's perfectly at right to be seeing others, I suppose.
Treasa Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 Thanks all- and I really don't expect him to drop things like work or anything, but when he's socializing with friends. I guess you're right though- I just can't shake this feeling that he's not fully interested in me, but I'm guessing that might be coming from anxiety that we're not exclusive and he's perfectly at right to be seeing others, I suppose. It's circular. I'm sure he can tell that you are a bit needy, and it's putting him off. Definitely don't contact him when he's with his friends. If you two aren't exclusive...hell, even if you are, when he's with his friends he can just be with his friends. I still suggest you start getting busy and dating others, too. Trust me, time will fly and you won't even wonder what he's doing. And then he'll probably start wondering what you're doing (although that shouldn't be the reason to do it).
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