jerryinva Posted September 16, 2004 Posted September 16, 2004 She just told me tonight...after telling me last night that she was still attracted to me...that I should expect anything to happen to their relationship after they come back from their trip. Even though she told me she loved me today...I told the same thing later, and she told me not to. And, she said they are already talking about marriage....
Duncan Posted September 16, 2004 Posted September 16, 2004 Dude that was kind of cryptic, but your situation sounds just like mine - my ex is overseas with her new man and I just know they are gonna come back with an engagement ring. Anyway we will have to be really strong eh? No words help - I know.
InLimbo2 Posted September 16, 2004 Posted September 16, 2004 Buddy, she's a nutcase - she's just ended an engagement to one man, has led you on, and is talking marriage to a man she's known a month - and she's draggin a kid into that! She is a walking disaster! Keep repeating this to yourself over and over: Just because I love someone doesn't mean it's a healthy relationship. Just because I love someone doesn't mean it's a healthy relationship. Just because I love someone doesn't mean it's a healthy relationship. Just because I love someone doesn't mean it's a healthy relationship. Just because I love someone doesn't mean it's a healthy relationship. Just because I love someone doesn't mean it's a healthy relationship.
Author jerryinva Posted September 16, 2004 Author Posted September 16, 2004 You are right. She actually asked me today, when she has called me the last couple of nights, I have been on the phone (actually with a co-worker)...so she asked me if I was "talking to someone." I went to answer her question...and she replied she didn't want to know... The other day she called..and she asked me if I was on the phone with one of my other girlfriends...joking like. She said she would not be jealous if I went out with another woman...it would just take some getting used to me not being accessible a.k.a. first) as much, but she would adjust. How about it ladies? Does this sound like "she doesn't care?"
j_nelson Posted September 16, 2004 Posted September 16, 2004 **** man, move on....no matter how many different posts you create, it is still the same girl and still the same situation...she is a headcase....get rid of her, get some confidence and find a new broad.
Author jerryinva Posted September 16, 2004 Author Posted September 16, 2004 Well...what I know is this... she is taking a trip to Chicago Friday night to Saturday night. This will be good no contact prep for me, because a week and a half later, she will gone for her glorious romantic getaway at the end of September....when I know darn well I won't hear from her at least those three days. And she will be doing the calling when she gets back...but I may just decide not to answer for a few days, as hard as it may be. I know she has the right to go do what she wants to do...but I don't want to hear her gushing about what a wonderful time she had...and whatever great revelations have come out of their month and a half relationship...like he proposed while they were there, or something like that. In fact, I think if she told me that, I would be hard pressed to want to speak to her again...even though she is within her full right. My dad seems to thinks she keeps confiding in me about this relationship, as ones in the past... because she "knows" I won't go anywhere. She can't talk to her ex-fiance... (eventually he is going to have to know...he still has a key to her freaking house...) because she knows he will probably walk out and never come back...and she doesn't want that... so she is putting off telling him...meanwhile I get to enjoy the pain..,
dcgent45 Posted September 16, 2004 Posted September 16, 2004 Okay, I was on this board a few months ago and haven't returned in a long time. I was heart broken over a relationship I left and what not...but then I realized that it wasn't healthy for me and I was worth more than that. MIND GAMES are a WASTE OF LIFE!!!! I haven't visited this site in so long, but yesterday I remembered there was this user called JerryinVA and I remember how last June he said he was going to stop talking to this girl and move. So, I decided to check back and see if he held his word. Maybe because I live in N. Virginia just like Jerry, I decided to check back. You know what Jerry, first off I didn't know you were 35 or 36 or whatever. I figured you were in your early 20's, maybe mid 20's and coming out of your first serious relationship. I was shocked to see you have been posting on here like a mad man since i last longed on...and I couldn't help by laugh in some ways. Laugh in disbelief. I can't help but feel embarrassed for you. I mean reading some of this stuff makes me cringe that you honestly submit yourself to this stuff. It is funny, because you continue to post on here, asking for peoples advice. But you don't take it. You don't even listen to it. And please don't tell me that you do...because you don't. If you did, you would have stopped talking to this girl a long time ago. You look for excuses to talk to her...and you make excuses to talk to her. I thought the one post was funny when you talked about some book you were reading and it was supposed to justify your actions in the past. It honestly reminded me of what an 11 year old would say. I couldn't help by shake my head in disbelief and embarassment for your cause. Going through my break up, my self esteem was low...really low. I felt like crap. But then I realized it was getting me any where...it was just making me feel sorry for myself. But you know what...I knew it wasn't going to last forever and I was going to feel better again...I knew it was a form of mourning. But Jerry, you broke up with this girl 2 years ago. I understand that you still love her...but I also think you don't know what love is. You don't have the slightest clue what love is. This girl is playing you so hard. I don't even know what attracts you to her either...I mean she treats you crap. But I think you love it and think there is no other way to live. But there is man...there is!!! Like you I live in the DC area, and you know what...you probably live in one of the best places in the world to find a new love. It is already the best place to live in the US for single people and has been voted that the last 2 years. This city has so much to offer. Making friends can be hard, but it is also extremely rewarding. You need to take advantage of this. You are really wasting a lot of time and years on this girl who doesn't care for you...but enjoys the attention and control she has on you. And like I said...you enjoy that. You can't tell me that you don't...so when you pout and cry to us about the pain you are going through...all I can say is grow up...grab your nutsack and be a man and respect yourself.
j_nelson Posted September 16, 2004 Posted September 16, 2004 buddy...seriously, you need to get a life....look at you...you are analyzing ever damn move this girl makes...let her go....she is a HEADCASE....there is nothing more to it...go find another girl....please do anything but mention her again....we don't need to know EVERY phone call or EVERY word this girl says to you. STOP analyzing everything and move on. If the girl is going away on romantic getaways with her new man why can't you see that you aren't in the picture. you are the one 'enjoying the pain' because you have NO backbone and NO PRIDE. Do you know what that means? Listen to yourself. Get some confidence man...for real...its time you drop this girl and pretend you never met her. Go to the gym..work out....date other chicks...do anything.....your story is becoming a bit much.....do something positive now...stop waiting around for her.....
j_nelson Posted September 16, 2004 Posted September 16, 2004 GREAT POST dcgent45 Everything I wanted to say but didn't want to waste my time saying....Couldn't have said it any better....
SoleMate Posted September 16, 2004 Posted September 16, 2004 dcgent45, you should probably step up and take your place next to the wise people of LS. Your advice was the best combination of caring and harsh truth that I have seen in a long while. jerryinva may be impervious to input, but if ANYTHING makes it through his protective anti-reality barrier, it will be what you said.
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