How Should I Feel?

[MandolinDown]

Hi LS,

 

Just need to ask some opinions about something that just happened with the ex:

 

I’m 10 months out from a mutual BU of a 2.5 year LDR, she’s now in her final year of college, I work. The busy end to her second year plus an even busier final year coming up plus few opportunities to see her last summer meant we decided to end it. We didn’t make any promises, no waiting, no “break” and for a while we kept in touch but by October we’d stopped talking. Sending birthday wishes to each other on FB earlier this year was the only contact since. After a long while the past 6-8 weeks have been good, thought I’d moved on.

 

Then a few days ago I log on to FB and see she’s in a relationship. Stared at it for a minute then felt this wave of anger and nausea hit me. Deleted her and her friends so I wouldn’t see anything about it, I’ve felt a lot better since.

 

Was I right to feel like this?

 

I knew she’d probably sleep with other people I mean, she’s single at college after she was taken for two years, plus that’s none of my business. That would have been ok, but a new relationship while still at college? It just feels like a slap in the face.

 

It wasn’t just the time, effort and commitment of an LDR, it was the support through family issues and friend drama, reading through all her written work, developing her confidence and physically being present for important events. Before a few days ago, I didn’t regret any of it, ok so we aren’t friends, that sucks but what can you do? I don’t think you can ever go back to that once you’ve seen each other naked (my personal theory). Now I feel like she’s thrown it back:

 

“Yeah you did that, but now I have someone who does that plus it’s convenient cause we’re in the same place”. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe I should just grow up and get over it, I don’t know. What I do know is that inside a week my opinion has changed from “We were good together, if we ever got another shot I’d go for it” to “Don’t really care if I never see her again”

 

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t holding out for her, I’m in the beginning of dating someone else and happy with that situation, me and the ex had no future at the moment, but surely the same is true of anyone else she could date now. I do want her to be happy, as much as I don’t want to admit it, I just feel a little let down.

 

What do y’all think?

[CompleteFailure]

That all sounds normal. I also felt betrayal after building my ex up and her leaving because I expected something in return. Now I try to see it as I did those things because I truly loved her and wanted the best for her. I no longer want anything in return for that which I did. That's today, and tomorrow's going to be a different story.

 

You sound like a good guy who is confident with himself.