ColaBucks Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 My ex-boyfriend who I was with for 2.5 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago today. His reasons were that we argued too much and that it took too much of a toll on him. I accept these reasons fully. We haven't spoken to one another since the day we broke up. Since we broke up, he has been flirting publicly with a number of girls on Twitter (about 5 or 6 different people) and has been posting Facebook statuses along the lines of; 'There is always new when old ends' 'I'm happy to be single but I'm sad that the people I "like" are in relationships and I can't be with them' 'It's sad to think I care for so many people yet they don't even acknowledge my existence' Many people say he's trying to get under my skin, and I agree, but why? He broke up with me. Why would he say things like this and make my healing process longer than it needs to be? What does he gain from doing this? I have no intention of contacting him first or trying to win him back- this behaviour has sealed the deal for me. I just find it hurtful that after 3 tiny weeks he's already into other girls and is announcing it so publicly. Its as if he wants me to see the Facebook statuses. I feel as if there is unfinished business with him, a lack of closure. That's why I have not deleted him from Facebook, I don't want him to use the 'I had no way of contacting you' excuse. Male 'Dumper' insight would be nice, thanks.
thefooloftheyear Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Im a guy, but frankly its no different for men/women.... When someone leaves you, more often than not its either because they have someone on the hook or they want to get someone new. While the world is ending for you. its a new beginning for them. There is no "grieving process", that all dumpees seem to think think that their dumper should go through. They are done with you....You are yesterdays news... Sorry to be so blunt but thats the cold reality. Want to stop wondering about this and killing yourself over it? DELETE THE FB ACCOUNT! In this case what you dont know wont hurt you...Concentrate on yourself and doing whats best for YOU... I wish you well... TFOY 2
Minadee Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 (edited) Honey I feel for you, I know how hard it is to watch the person you love flaunt their new found happiness in being single in your face. Hell, after being with my ex for three years, he left me when I had just found out I was pregnant and fully aware of this, within a week he was dating another girl who was totally in the dark about it. It was hell and I had never felt so low. But it gets better! I promise. I have my off days every now and then, and being in contact with him for the sake of the baby doesn't help, but I no longer feel so alone. I would say come off facebook for a bit. You dont have to delete it or de-activate it, just simply log out and dont long back in for a little while. Torturing yourself over what he's doing is not healthy! I know it's cliche but ignore his twitter and his statuses. Edited April 11, 2013 by Minadee 3
Author ColaBucks Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 thefooloftheyear; Thanks for being so honest with me, it helped me wake up and smell the coffee a little, I needed someone who isn't trying to save my feelings to tell me so too. minadee; thanks a lot, it is so hard to see him enjoying time away from me so much, but it is going to get better, its just really hard right now. Congratulations on your baby
thefooloftheyear Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 thefooloftheyear; Thanks for being so honest with me, it helped me wake up and smell the coffee a little, I needed someone who isn't trying to save my feelings to tell me so too. minadee; thanks a lot, it is so hard to see him enjoying time away from me so much, but it is going to get better, its just really hard right now. Congratulations on your baby Believe me, ive had it happen to me too, so you arent alone... And the last thing I want to do is be the "wet blanket". But the sooner you see it for what it is/was the better able you will be to process it and put it all behind you. I love a hug as much as anyone, but it wont change anything!!! Hang in there, kid...The man of your dreams is out there, this guy bailed on you so you can find him.. TFOY
Author ColaBucks Posted April 12, 2013 Author Posted April 12, 2013 Believe me, ive had it happen to me too, so you arent alone... And the last thing I want to do is be the "wet blanket". But the sooner you see it for what it is/was the better able you will be to process it and put it all behind you. I love a hug as much as anyone, but it wont change anything!!! Hang in there, kid...The man of your dreams is out there, this guy bailed on you so you can find him.. TFOY TFOY, That's a good way of looking at it, thanks ..Since my last post he put a status (I blocked him from my news feed, but a friend screencapped it and showed me without me asking) and the status said something along the lines of; 'I'm sorry if what I have been saying lately has upset you, I only thought of my own feelings. If I have upset you I hope you can forgive me?' I have asked my friend to stay off of the subject from now on, she was only trying to make me feel better but yeah, not a good thing to talk about when I'm trying to block him out haha.. Not sure if that status is an invitation to talk, if it is i'm going to ignore it..
thefooloftheyear Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 TFOY, That's a good way of looking at it, thanks ..Since my last post he put a status (I blocked him from my news feed, but a friend screencapped it and showed me without me asking) and the status said something along the lines of; 'I'm sorry if what I have been saying lately has upset you, I only thought of my own feelings. If I have upset you I hope you can forgive me?' I have asked my friend to stay off of the subject from now on, she was only trying to make me feel better but yeah, not a good thing to talk about when I'm trying to block him out haha.. Not sure if that status is an invitation to talk, if it is i'm going to ignore it.. If you look at how he worded it, it looks more like he is trying to not look bad or feel guilty. I wouldnt read too much into it. Best wishes to you! TFOY 1
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