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Posted

I don't get it....I know people say that you are suppose to go out and date and "hope" that sparks fly. But is it that hard to go out...find a man that you are totally into, and then pursue...than meeting a "so-so" person and hoping for the best. I want to have butterflies, and sparks, and while I don't always expect that upon a first meeting. I do expect some sort of attraction. Is that good, or does it lead me to look for the wrong things (looks). Does it also set me up for failure?

Posted

If all the men that you have "sparks" with tend to be a-holes, then I would be a little leary.

 

Attraction is based on many factors, conscious and subconscioius, conditioned and inhereted, not all of them good.

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Posted

Whoa...good point...I never thought of it that way before. But if i am attracted to the "wrong" guys..how can i get myself out of that situation?

Posted
Originally posted by skeeter

Whoa...good point...I never thought of it that way before. But if i am attracted to the "wrong" guys..how can i get myself out of that situation?

 

I was attracted to the "wrong" types of girls for a long time. These women all turned out to have severe mental or emotional problems, and I ought to have known that they were no good from the start. I sat back and reflected on the types of women that I normally went for, and I began to see that all of them shared certain characteristics. I now try to stay away from women displaying these characteristics, or signs, and so far I have been doing fairly well in my relationships. Once in a while I get thrown a curve ball after thinking I've found a nice girl, but I just go looking again.

 

I began to look for people who were more stable, and had more things going for them: A job, college, a car and other such things. None of these are essential, but if I find a strong-willed woman with initiative, who seems to have her life fairly sorted out, I'd like to get to know her better. My present girlfriend doesn't drive yet, but she is in college, has a steady job, and really seems to have her priorities straight. She's got a wonderful personality, and for the first time in a while I feel I can totally trust this girl.

 

Maybe looking back at your past might help you make a better move for your future.

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