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Have you ever caught yourself overthinking things?

MissIndependant

By MissIndependant
in General Relationship Discussion

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MissIndependant Member

MissIndependant

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I've recently noticed that I overthink and over analyse everything in my relationship way to much. I'd like to learn how to avoid doing this.

 

It starts out with something small, a vauge response for instance, and then I start thinking about it and then analysing the "why?" which naturally leads to the many scenarios slideshow & before I know it I've blown the whole thing out of proportion and my mind is stuck in the proverbial hamster wheel. :bunny:

 

Now I'm sure I'm not the only one guilty of this lol So I'm wondering what you've done to stop overthinking/analysing ?

 

This has always been a big problem for me and I've never though of fixing it becuase "it's who I am", but I can see that this behaviour isn't giving me a positive effect and that given time could become a major wedge in my relationship. :(

 

I've read some matieral which says you have to do something that is going to engage your brain etc so that it's to busy to start over thinking in the first place.

 

Any other ideas? :D

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Have you ever caught yourself overthinking things?

 

Only on LS.

 

In relationships, if anything, I'm slow on the uptake and under-think. There's far more reliance on feelings, perhaps to my detriment.

Divasu Established Member

Divasu

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Who hasn't!

 

I try to: (1) count my blessings; (2) do something else more constructive; or (3) block it out entirely.

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MissIndependant Member

MissIndependant

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Who hasn't!

 

I try to: (1) count my blessings; (2) do something else more constructive; or (3) block it out entirely.

 

 

Perfect..... Now how do I achieve number 3 lol :)

reaver Established Member

reaver

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I think its safe to say most people on LS overthink a little bit...

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MissIndependant Member

MissIndependant

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It's not just in my romantic realtionship, although that ( as with most people) is where the bulk of the over analysing comes from. I do it with everything, such as if my boss is having a bad day or one of my friends is being a bit distant.

 

I feel I will be alot happier in live in general if I can learn to curb the habit. Or better yet stop doing it entirely lol

Divasu Established Member

Divasu

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Perfect..... Now how do I achieve number 3 lol :)

 

Practice.

Control.

Discipline.

 

It's not always 100% foolproof though. haha. ;)

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ComeUpOutDaWahta Established Member

ComeUpOutDaWahta

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Alcohol helps, although I'm not quite sure how helpful that tip might be.

 

It's nice to get yourself into a state of mind where you don't overthink anything and just enjoy yourself. If only for a night.

 

I overthink all types of things, sure. Did I do this or that right with her? Is she really that into me? Should I try calling her tomorrow? Should I get that "#swag" tattoo I've always wanted?

 

Overthinking things, especially here in America where there's plenty of things to think about that will generally just bum you out, is just going to make life unnecessarily difficult. It's best to have a hobby that takes your mind off of things. Unfortunately, a lot of us don't have that escape, but there's always a night's worth of escape, in bottled form, available whenever you may need it.

 

Just take a night and do what you want to do. Even if it may be a little bit... destructive.

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MissIndependant Member

MissIndependant

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ha ha thanks for the advice. I would like to train mind to not overthink anything.

 

I think a big part of the problem is I work in an office at a desk for ten hours a day and my mind tends to wander when it isn't engaged.

 

I tend to feel very unesy and stressed (probably not the right word, anxious maybe?) when this happens and I would like to stop that permanently.

 

Though I will admit a few glasses of wine has been known to help temporarily!

ComeUpOutDaWahta Established Member

ComeUpOutDaWahta

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I gotta say though, coming on LS too much might not be a good thing either. I mean, a lot of us here REALLY over-analyze everything. It gets your mind going in that particular direction, and then it gets super heavy.

 

If you're wanting to stop over-thinking issues involving "interpersonal relationships," then being here is by definition a poor choice. There's an entire internet out there, and trust me, most of the content therein involves very little thought.

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MissIndependant Member

MissIndependant

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I come here to ask questions on here that I'd rather not ask people I know, because you know less of the back story you are bound to be less biased.

 

But yes you are completely right, using LS is a tool to continue the over anaylsing wheel. Especially since it gives you so many more opinions, scenrious to mull over.

 

I like an honest answer :)

Edited by MissIndependant
Got interupted and forgot to finish my post lol
happykat Established Member

happykat

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I've read some matieral which says you have to do something that is going to engage your brain etc so that it's to busy to start over thinking in the first place.

Any other ideas? :D

 

ok.. I have found a solution that I will share with you, lol--

I am usually totally guilty of overthinking things, and actually I get on my own nerves with that kind of stuff!.. But lately I am just too busy to become semi-obsessed with the minute details of relationships. And the difference is that I have recently started multi-dating, whereas I used to mostly date one man at a time. Now it seems that I am juggling 3-4 men at a time, and the result is that I am doing what I should have been all along - just living for the moment and having no expectations of any of these men.

So that is what I am busying myself with (among other things- work, kids, friends) and like I said- I have noticed a huge difference.

It might be more productive to busy yourself with something more practical - like school or a second job or volunteer work, but not nearly as much fun, lol!

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MissIndependant Member

MissIndependant

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Thanks Happykat.

 

I like your advice.

 

I find that overthinking mostly occurs when I'm at work on my bum for hours on end.

 

I think I'm going to set myself a penalty for evertime I catch myself overthinking. Like 10 pushups or something equally unapealing lol

 

I like your idea about just living in the moment and not having expectations.

 

Thanks for the feedback, I'm certainly going to give it a go. :)

Esoteric Elf Established Member

Esoteric Elf

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An affirmative and echoing yes. I've imagined that some girls I interacted with like me, which, in the past, has been the source for much longing and pain on my part. Needless to say, I don't overthink now.

ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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Posted

I always over think

foreverandalways Established Member

foreverandalways

Posted
Posted
I've recently noticed that I overthink and over analyse everything in my relationship way to much. I'd like to learn how to avoid doing this.

 

It starts out with something small, a vauge response for instance, and then I start thinking about it and then analysing the "why?" which naturally leads to the many scenarios slideshow & before I know it I've blown the whole thing out of proportion and my mind is stuck in the proverbial hamster wheel. :bunny:

 

Now I'm sure I'm not the only one guilty of this lol So I'm wondering what you've done to stop overthinking/analysing ?

 

This has always been a big problem for me and I've never though of fixing it becuase "it's who I am", but I can see that this behaviour isn't giving me a positive effect and that given time could become a major wedge in my relationship. :(

 

I've read some matieral which says you have to do something that is going to engage your brain etc so that it's to busy to start over thinking in the first place.

 

Any other ideas? :D

 

Yes all the time. I find when I'm laying in bed with nothing to do, my brain wanders. It starts to replay conversations throughout the day and I begin to think and overthink.

 

I have to eventually tell myself that I'm seriously being absurd, and turn on the tv and shut my brain off.

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SerCay Established Member

SerCay

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I think everybody does..

 

In my case I started to over think because in the past when I didnt over think, things happened in my relationship unnoticed..these things broke my trust bond with my boyfriend and this has caused my overthinking today..I think in a lot of cases like mine, over thinking happens because the lack of a trust bond

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MissIndependant Member

MissIndependant

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I think everybody does..

 

In my case I started to over think because in the past when I didnt over think, things happened in my relationship unnoticed..these things broke my trust bond with my boyfriend and this has caused my overthinking today..I think in a lot of cases like mine, over thinking happens because the lack of a trust bond

 

That's exactly why I overthink as well!

 

Since posting this I've done a bit of research about WHY we overthink. I thought that by understanding the why I could figure out the how to stop.

 

I don't want a bandaid solution that will stop me from overthinking for a while, I want to completely change the WAY I think.

 

A psyhcologist stated in an article I read that we are not born overthinking, it is a habit that we learn over time. Normally it is formed over time from our experiences (especially those that force us to loose our trust) as a way of protecting ourselves from the possiblity of failure.

Harradin Established Member

Harradin

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I overthink and overanalyse everything, its actually served me well. I just get on with it and not worry!

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MissIndependant Member

MissIndependant

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I overthink and overanalyse everything, its actually served me well. I just get on with it and not worry!

 

I think it can be useful to an extent.

 

Overthinking only becomes a problem when you can't get a resolution from doing it. I've heard someone call it analysis paralysis.

 

I'm working on the just get on with it and not worry part.

Harradin Established Member

Harradin

Posted
Posted
I think it can be useful to an extent.

 

Overthinking only becomes a problem when you can't get a resolution from doing it. I've heard someone call it analysis paralysis.

 

I'm working on the just get on with it and not worry part.

 

I've had analysis paralysis, I couldn't figure out what happened why my ex left. Had to force myself to put it aside because I did nothing wrong and it was all her wrong doing, it drove me mad for months!

 

I literally just stopped caring and wanted to enjoy life for what it was, I didn't want to be over thinking and analyzing absolutely everything that went wrong when I had already learnt the lesson. :p

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MissIndependant Member

MissIndependant

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I've come to the conclusion that no matter what scale, a small conversation or the larger picture. The best thing is to decide on a course of action, do it and then move on and get over it.

 

Just do it and be happy with the decision you've made. Don't go overthinking " Could I have said that better? I should have said this. How are they going to respond to that?" it would just go on forever.

 

I'm living each little moment as it comes and not planning a future that I'm yet to get to lol

Shepp Established Member

Shepp

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I dont really overthink stuff but i do worry about people a fair bit which i guess is the same kind of thing.

Theres this song, sunscreen, heard it? and theres a lyric in it that goes:

"Don't worry about the future.

Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday."

 

I always think that to myself when im stressing over something!

 

Then i go for a run or something! :cool:

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