Author reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 Well, you can be constantly shut down and not get any attention from women like I have. That is why I don't consider dating as high anymore and is starting to get more comfortable being single. I mean, really. What's the point? You seem to be one of the exceptions. If you came to my house I'd brush your hair and feed you grapes. 1
Necris Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 I like how everyone is talking about an excerpt from a 30 year old article that can't even be looked at on a database to see for ourselves:lmao:
Author reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 I like how everyone is talking about an excerpt from a 30 year old article that can't even be looked at on a database to see for ourselves:lmao: Most scientific articles you have to pay to see it. The vast majority of the ones Ive looked at are like that and not available to the public in free form. you cannot download them from the database and post them somewhere else.
Author reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 (edited) Seems kind of similiar to another post whos posts mostly centered around "studies":eek: Men and women are equally shallow most men and women i know need physical attraction but also substance behind it. If a man is unwilling to settle down with you then look in the mirror not at all men or studies to justify why its not you but all men who are flawed. Says the guy who likes going to escorts to have sex with "attractive women" Studies are relevant. The problem is people discount studies that consistently show findings they dont like. You think I like the fact men place looks over personality? Sorry, but they show in terms of physical attraction, men and women are not equally shallow. Good reading comprehension. This thread is not about "settling down" It is about how looks is of more importance than personality for men than when compared to women. Edited April 11, 2013 by reaver 1
Woggle Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Some of you bitter people who want to generalize half the population should just get together with each other.
Author reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 Some of you bitter people who want to generalize half the population should just get together with each other. Why do studies consistently show that men place looks higher up on their priority list of choosing who to date than women? How does realizing this phenomenon exists, make me bitter? I would say it makes me smart. Not bitter. Ive dated a few who werent like this, so how am I generalizing? I constantly turn away shallow men though.
Woggle Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Why do studies consistently show that men place looks higher up on their priority list of choosing who to date than women? How does realizing this phenomenon exists, make me bitter? I would say it makes me smart. Not bitter. Ive dated a few who werent like this, so how am I generalizing? I constantly turn away shallow men though. You and your studies.
mesmerized Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Some of you bitter people who want to generalize half the population should just get together with each other. I agree. Revear, send me your pic please...oops, does that mean I'm shallow too??
Necris Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Most scientific articles you have to pay to see it. The vast majority of the ones Ive looked at are like that and not available to the public in free form. you cannot download them from the database and post them somewhere else. 30 year old studies that aren't even accessible do not make a good discussion. I don't even have an abstract to look at here to verify anything.
tbf Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 reaver, no one can see the linked study. It throws a 404 code. So I'm providing a possibly different study based on fMRI findings about men being more responsive to visually sexual arousing stimuli. Men and women differ in amygdala response to visual sexual stimuli - Nature Neuroscience Men are generally more interested in and responsive to visual sexually arousing stimuli than are women. Here we used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to show that the amygdala and hypothalamus are more strongly activated in men than in women when viewing identical sexual stimuli. This was true even when women reported greater arousal. Sex differences were specific to the sexual nature of the stimuli, were restricted primarily to limbic regions, and were larger in the left amygdala than the right amygdala. Men and women showed similar activation patterns across multiple brain regions, including ventral striatal regions involved in reward. Our findings indicate that the amygdala mediates sex differences in responsiveness to appetitive and biologically salient stimuli; the human amygdala may also mediate the reportedly greater role of visual stimuli in male sexual behavior, paralleling prior animal findings.
mesmerized Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Yeah, but at the same time, the guy generally has to have the right kind of personality for girls to like him. I'm one of the lucky ones. My personality naturally attracts women. I have done a lot of self reflection and I'm quite self-aware, but I was still born with that kind of personality. The guys on here that struggle don't have that kind of personality (and it's even tougher to get if they're not intelligent). They blame it on other things, but this is really it. And they can't change because they don't even acknowledge that the problem is WITHIN them, as opposed to what they are physically. And even then, it requires work. Any ugly girl can just wear makeup. Any fat girl can just lose weight. Dude that doesn't make any sense. And no, makeup won't cure ugly. There are a lot of men here who admit to having gotten better with women as they aged because they changed their personality. unless a woman gets plastic surgery everywhere, hair extensions and tons of makeup, she won't become that ideal. Even then some men will reject her cause she is not naturally beautiful. In any case, the majority of us don't have the money to do that to ourselves nor do we want it. So yeah, ugly women for the most part will stay ugly and at the bottom of dating pool.
SJC2008 Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 The thing about studies is that they don't take cultural norms and gender roles into consideration. In our (weatern) culture, women are SUPPOSED to be the "nicer" and more moral species. They're groomed from birth to beleve this and to say things like personality is important. Sociology talks about gender role "thinking" in surveys and studies. As stated before, it is a sociological FACT that people date people, for the most part, date peope of a similar attractivness. I will concede that while most peope don't dip down in looks, of the ones that do, women do a little bit more. I say a little because there are men who dip down too. We can play the biology card both ways in that men like nice T&A and women like wealth/status and confidence etc. The bottom line is that personality isn't #1 for EITHER gender. So we both have our likes and if men do value looks more it's so minute it's not worth debating.
ChessPieceFace Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 So if you girls ever time travel back to 1977 or 1989, be sure to get all dolled up in the fashions of the era.
salparadise Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 (edited) Men weigh physical attractiveness more than women when deciding who to date. Not saying personality doesnt matter at all to them, but looks matter more. It is higher on their priority list. These kinds of studies provide insight into the basic wiring diagram and instinctual preferences, but we (both men and women) have a lot of social learning and real life experiences layered over top that mitigate actual behaviors and preferences in each individual. It's not hard to find people who intentionally override instinctual urges because they have learned through experience what type of person will be most compatible with them in a relationship. The reality is that men and women are always going to do the best they can for themselves in terms of the instinctual stuff, while also selecting for the traits they've learned that they want (or want to avoid) in a companion. I believe we do this more/better as we accumulate relevant experiences. We learn to intuitively spot patterns that have caused us pain in the past and we avoid them. Women just happen to be better at balancing looks with other factors because that ability is integrated into their basic wiring, whereas with men it's almost entirely learned from experience. As a mature man who has been through a divorce and a painful breakup post divorce, I have modified my filter to the point that certain personality traits come first, and the beautiful factor is merged into the overall personality. In fact, certain types of beautiful (as defined in our society) trigger feelings of aversion because they're associated with pain and emotional distress. Edited April 11, 2013 by salparadise 1
StanMusial Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Don't get so attached to who says what but what is being said. Good idea. I'll try not to "get attached" to either one.
Revolver Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 No person is going to date someone they're not physically attracted to unless they have no options.
IT Geek Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 I find amusing men on this site (some) convince themselves that in terms of physical and visual attraction, women are more shallow. Very much so not the case... I find it amusing that you find it amusing. I guess it depends on the guy's point of view. Being a well-below average looking guy (probably a 3 at best) it is naturally going to appear to me that women are more shallow than men. I've pretty much accepted the fact that due to my lack in the looks department, along with my social anxiety over said looks, that I'm going to be single for the rest of my life. I've tried OLD and have been stood up more than once (one even saw me waiting and left), and have been told outright multiple times that I'm not physically attractive enough. So now I don't even try because I know I'll be rejected and it's easier to live alone without the pain of rejection vs living alone with the pain of multiple rejections. So take the whole report with a grain of salt and remember to try to think about this issue from all points of view.
IT Geek Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Honestly, Im jealous of men now. It is easier to find somebody to love you for YOU when you are a heterosexual guy than being a hetereosexual female. Total BS....
Disenchantedly Yours Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 I don't expect you to think anything . You didn't answer my follow up question either. Do I care if women like money? Not really, no. Some women are gold-diggers and they want money. I accept that, I don't care. I'm the last person you will ever find bitching about that. So I ask you: what is so bad about being physically attracted to women? If a woman likes money does that make her a gold-digger? I don't think it does. I one time read this funny thing from Steve Harvey that said men made up the term "gold-digger" to manipulate women. 1
Disenchantedly Yours Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Ok. I agree 100% with that. Not every woman is like that, but many are. Guess what? Its our in biological nature, the same way men focusing so heavily on looks is in their biological nature. However, men on these forums seem to feel justified in THEIR biological nature while bashing women for doing the same thing. Im really astounded by the level of selfishness Ive observed on this site. It's not just men on this forum. It's men in the real world too. Apparently it's okay to lust after and use women for their looks. but if you lust after a man's money or use him for money, it's some hor more horrible to them. Go figure. 1
Disenchantedly Yours Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Seems kind of similiar to another post whos posts mostly centered around "studies":eek: Men and women are equally shallow most men and women i know need physical attraction but also substance behind it. If a man is unwilling to settle down with you then look in the mirror not at all men or studies to justify why its not you but all men who are flawed. No, I really don't think men and women are equally shallow. I think a woman does need to be physically attracted to her partner. But that doesn't mean she is physically shallow like men can be physically shallow. There are man more average and older men on tv then there are average and older women. Women are upheld to standards of getting plastic surgery and using all kinds of things (tricks) to supposely "enhance" their beauty. Men are not forced to go to the length to conform to such things. Men are more shallow. 1
Els Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 I have no doubt that there is a general trend towards this. However, statistics are just that - statistics. The same goes for divorce rates, cohabitation before marriage, the average frequency with which a married couple has sex, married women living shorter lives, etc, etc. Interesting for trivial knowledge, but when you allow them to dictate your life or your approach/opinion of an entire gender, then you're probably in for a not-so-great time. I have no doubt that many men are very shallow. Oh, yes, very much indeed. LS in itself seems to be a great starting point for anyone doubting this. Frankly, I had no idea that a woman needed to fulfill so many physical criteria to find a 'quality man' before coming to LS. But there are men out there who aren't, even if they may be fewer in numbers than women. Fortunately women often have certain equally shallow criteria (although not necessarily physical) that exclude some of those men. The world goes round.
Els Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Also, I think it's beneficial for us to see people as individuals when it comes to preferences, requirements, and desires, as opposed to getting so obsessed about the 'men' and 'women' camps and the differences between the two. If you're interested in someone, then what that person likes matters. What does it matter what the other 99% of the population desires?
PJKino Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 No, I really don't think men and women are equally shallow. I think a woman does need to be physically attracted to her partner. But that doesn't mean she is physically shallow like men can be physically shallow. There are man more average and older men on tv then there are average and older women. Women are upheld to standards of getting plastic surgery and using all kinds of things (tricks) to supposely "enhance" their beauty. Men are not forced to go to the length to conform to such things. Men are more shallow. Oh please gay men are the ones who create beauty trends its why you see women who look like 10 year old boys plastered over tv as the definiton of female beauty. Lets not act like men dont have pressure either..short men are at a huge disadvantage in the dating world and there is nothing they can do about their height so men are not the only ones with strict physical preferences stop it.
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 There's nothing wrong with being attracted to physical traits. It's a problem when someone is blinded by them, IMO. 3
Recommended Posts