reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 http://www.epjournal.net/wp-content/...s/ep080528.pdf Harrison, A., & Saeed, L. (1977). Let's make a deal: An analysis of revelations and stipulations in lonely-hearts advertisements. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 35, 257-264. Buss, D. M. (1989). Sex differences in human mate preferences: Evolutionary hypotheses tested in 37 cultures. Behavioral and Brain Sciences 12, 1-49. Men weigh physical attractiveness more than women when deciding who to date. Not saying personality doesnt matter at all to them, but looks matter more. It is higher on their priority list.
ComeUpOutDaWahta Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 The 404'd page that you linked to is really unattractive, so as a man, I'm not interested in it at all. 4
Author reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 My husband must have missed that memo. You look lovely in your photo. Seriously. No homo
ThaWholigan Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 http://www.epjournal.net/wp-content/...s/ep080528.pdf Harrison, A., & Saeed, L. (1977). Let's make a deal: An analysis of revelations and stipulations in lonely-hearts advertisements. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 35, 257-264. Buss, D. M. (1989). Sex differences in human mate preferences: Evolutionary hypotheses tested in 37 cultures. Behavioral and Brain Sciences 12, 1-49. Men weigh physical attractiveness more than women when deciding who to date. Not saying personality doesnt matter at all to them, but looks matter more. It is higher on their priority list. I'm curious...... Assuming these are all 100% correct completely - do you think this is bad or are you neutral? Or perhaps you think it is a good thing?
Author reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 I'm curious...... Assuming these are all 100% correct completely - do you think this is bad or are you neutral? Or perhaps you think it is a good thing? Well I do think it is bad, but what can I do about it other than burning my bra and eternal love for dildos? I find amusing men on this site (some) convince themselves that in terms of physical and visual attraction, women are more shallow. Very much so not the case... 2
Poppy fields Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 You look lovely in your photo. Seriously. No homo Thanks. It was taken in the middle of a miagraine. I was contemplating ending it all. For a minute at least.
ThaWholigan Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Well I do think it is bad, but what can I do about it other than burning my bra and eternal love for dildos? Why do you think it's bad? And do you believe that all men are physically attracted to the exact same physical traits in a woman? I find amusing men on this site (some) convince themselves that in terms of physical and visual attraction, women are more shallow. Very much so not the case... I think there isn't too much difference between men and women in this regard. I find that the difference is either exaggerated or described as completely equal - but we cannot determine either with our small pool and even the studies are not going to be completely conclusive in explaining every individual's mode of attraction. But saying that (as I stressed in the other thread), I don't see much of a problem with shallowness in a person because not everybody is inclined to be as deep as the ones who prefer a meeting of the minds/souls to a meeting of the bodies. As for the men who believe women are more shallow - their demographic is an unforgiving one, one that I experience only on occasion. If you don't build up the stones to be able to exist in that arena, you will end up thinking a lot of women are bitches by default. It's not a mode of thinking I agree with at all, and I attribute that to being able to relate to each and every demographic on it's own.
Poppy fields Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Personally, I'm trying hard to not be attracted to physical traits. It's definitely difficult, but I've dated too many hot, bat sh*t crazy girls and passed up on too many average-looking, wonderful women than I can count. It's time I start taking my own advice and stop being so superficial. Yeah, but isn't the out of control sex worth it?
Author reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 (edited) I'm curious...... Assuming these are all 100% correct completely - do you think this is bad or are you neutral? Or perhaps you think it is a good thing? LOL the fact that men expect me to think reading the results of these articles is NOT bad really doesnt help. So not only are men shallow, but feel entitled to it? "ohhh honey, your looks are more important to me than your personality, but ooo arent i such a gooooood person and you shouldnt you still loooove me for it?" Its kind of disgusting. Im starting to understand some of the man haters on this site. Ive been pretty lucky Ive met a few who I think arent like this but thats prob because I seek them out. You want to think this way? Fine, but then dont bitch when women like money. Edited April 11, 2013 by reaver 1
ThaWholigan Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 LOL the fact that men expect me to think reading the results of these articles is NOT bad really doesnt help. So not only are men shallow, but feel entitled to it? "ohhh honey, your looks are more important to me than your personality, but ooo arent i such a gooooood person and you shouldnt you still loooove me for it?" Its kind of disgusting. Im starting to understand some of the man haters on this site. Ive been pretty lucky Ive met a few who I think arent like this but thats prob because I seek them out. You want to think this way? Fine, but then dont bitch when women like money. I don't expect you to think anything . You didn't answer my follow up question either. Do I care if women like money? Not really, no. Some women are gold-diggers and they want money. I accept that, I don't care. I'm the last person you will ever find bitching about that. So I ask you: what is so bad about being physically attracted to women?
Woggle Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 My wife is very attractive but I married her because of her other traits. 1
mesmerized Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 LOL the fact that men expect me to think reading the results of these articles is NOT bad really doesnt help. So not only are men shallow, but feel entitled to it? "ohhh honey, your looks are more important to me than your personality, but ooo arent i such a gooooood person and you shouldnt you still loooove me for it?" Its kind of disgusting. Im starting to understand some of the man haters on this site. Ive been pretty lucky Ive met a few who I think arent like this but thats prob because I seek them out. You want to think this way? Fine, but then dont bitch when women like money. If someone told you that, you can say "no, because you don't turn me on". Men are far more insecure than you think. Yes they might feel entitled but you can too! Personally if an out of shape/unattractive guy tries to criticize my looks or says things like that, he'll most probably be kicked to the curb fast and he'll need some time to recover. Again, men feel entitled because women let them. Same with women who feel entitled, it's because some men make it easy for them.
TheFinalWord Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 (edited) http://www.epjournal.net/wp-content/...s/ep080528.pdf Harrison, A., & Saeed, L. (1977). Let's make a deal: An analysis of revelations and stipulations in lonely-hearts advertisements. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 35, 257-264. Buss, D. M. (1989). Sex differences in human mate preferences: Evolutionary hypotheses tested in 37 cultures. Behavioral and Brain Sciences 12, 1-49. Men weigh physical attractiveness more than women when deciding who to date. Not saying personality doesnt matter at all to them, but looks matter more. It is higher on their priority list. 1) Those articles are over 20 years old. 2) Please provide a link in which these articles can be accessed. These articles are so old they are not indexed in any readily used databases. 3) You are attempting to use science to make a definitive claim. This research is not supportive of your claim, nor is it substantive enough to support your claim. This was from the first abstract: "In addition, good-looking advertisers of both sexes sought good-looking partners, and good-looking women sought well-to-do men. It is suggested that lonely hearts and other classified advertisements are a useful source of data for future research" I could make the spurious claim using your research that women are not only interested in physical looks but also financial security. SCIENCE PROVES WOMEN ARE SHALLOW AND GOLD DIGGERS LULZ See how we could twist results to make a claims to support our biases? Edited April 11, 2013 by TheFinalWord 3
Author reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 I don't expect you to think anything . You didn't answer my follow up question either. Do I care if women like money? Not really, no. Some women are gold-diggers and they want money. I accept that, I don't care. I'm the last person you will ever find bitching about that. So I ask you: what is so bad about being physically attracted to women? Where did I ever say that? The women in these studies were attracted to their partners. But they dont put it so far up on the priority list like men do. Thats my problem. The reason I made this in a separate thread is because that same illogical conclusion you drew happened in another thread
Author reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 1) Those articles are over 20 years old. 2) Please provide a link in which these articles can be accessed. These articles are so old they are not indexed in any readily used databases. 3) You are attempting to use science to make a definitive claim. This research is not supportive of your claim, nor is it substantive enough to support your claim. This was from the first abstract: "In addition, good-looking advertisers of both sexes sought good-looking partners, and good-looking women sought well-to-do men. It is suggested that lonely hearts and other classified advertisements are a useful source of data for future research" I could make the spurious claim using your research that women are not only interested in physical looks but also financial security. SCIENCE PROVES WOMEN ARE SHALLOW AND GOLD DIGGERS LULZ See how we could twist results to make a claims to support our biases? Ok. I agree 100% with that. Not every woman is like that, but many are. Guess what? Its our in biological nature, the same way men focusing so heavily on looks is in their biological nature. However, men on these forums seem to feel justified in THEIR biological nature while bashing women for doing the same thing. Im really astounded by the level of selfishness Ive observed on this site. 1
Author reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 I agree. I don't know why guys on here think that. As a guy that has many female friends and dated a lot, I can tell you that most women are not that shallow. And most of the ones that are are still willing to bend. The only girls that I met IRL that are truly shallow and will not bend at all have some kind of personality/mental disorder. Needless to say, I'm very happy to be a heterosexual male. Honestly, Im jealous of men now. It is easier to find somebody to love you for YOU when you are a heterosexual guy than being a hetereosexual female.
Author reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 1) Those articles are over 20 years old. 2) Please provide a link in which these articles can be accessed. These articles are so old they are not indexed in any readily used databases. 3) You are attempting to use science to make a definitive claim. This research is not supportive of your claim, nor is it substantive enough to support your claim. This was from the first abstract: "In addition, good-looking advertisers of both sexes sought good-looking partners, and good-looking women sought well-to-do men. It is suggested that lonely hearts and other classified advertisements are a useful source of data for future research" I could make the spurious claim using your research that women are not only interested in physical looks but also financial security. SCIENCE PROVES WOMEN ARE SHALLOW AND GOLD DIGGERS LULZ See how we could twist results to make a claims to support our biases? Also, way to grasp at straws. LOTS of recent studies show the same thing. You are also ignoring the other 2...go figure.
Woggle Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Honestly, Im jealous of men now. It is easier to find somebody to love you for YOU when you are a heterosexual guy than being a hetereosexual female. The grass always looks greener from the other side until you walk in our shoes. I say the same thing in reverse as well. Until you live as the opposite sex you don't know what it is truly like.
Author reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 The grass always looks greener from the other side until you walk in our shoes. I say the same thing in reverse as well. Until you live as the opposite sex you don't know what it is truly like. For guys in their 20's and early 30's, most of the dating woes Ive heard are "she wont put out" and "shes not that hot" or something about her not doing what he wants to do/catering to him. Kinda hard for me to be sympathetic. The majority of complaints I hear from women about men revolve around them being shallow and assholish 1
Woggle Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 For guys in their 20's and early 30's, most of the dating woes Ive heard are "she wont put out" and "shes not that hot" or something about her not doing what he wants to do/catering to him. Kinda hard for me to be sympathetic. The majority of complaints I hear from women about men revolve around them being shallow and assholish Trust me men go through some stuff with relationships as well. All these bitter men didn't become so bitter for no reason and vice versa.
PJKino Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 (edited) Seems kind of similiar to another post whos posts mostly centered around "studies":eek: Men and women are equally shallow most men and women i know need physical attraction but also substance behind it. If a man is unwilling to settle down with you then look in the mirror not at all men or studies to justify why its not you but all men who are flawed. Edited April 11, 2013 by PJKino
TheFinalWord Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Ok. I agree 100% with that. Not every woman is like that, but many are. Guess what? Its our in biological nature, the same way men focusing so heavily on looks is in their biological nature. However, men on these forums seem to feel justified in THEIR biological nature while bashing women for doing the same thing. Im really astounded by the level of selfishness Ive observed on this site. No problem. You have to look at the type of site this is (this particular forum at least). It is primarily for people that have relationship problems. So, yes, projection and confirmation bias runs a muck. That is just the way it is though. There are voices of reason here, but there is a lot of gender bashing. It is better to just ignore or just realize that this is medium for people to vent. It's anonymous, so people feel a sense of relief to unload here. Also, there are some people (trolls) that just like to get a rise out of people. If you play into it, they will gladly indulge. If you are trying to convert one of these gender bashers, it is unlikely to have much effect. Similarly, if you are trying to defend your gender, it also unlikely to have much effect. A person has to actively want to change. Building relationships can help to change someone's mind, however this takes time and patience. You can try, but I would not take it personally if you do not succeed. Also, way to grasp at straws. LOTS of recent studies show the same thing. You are also ignoring the other 2...go figure. I did not see the 2 you are referring too. It would be helpful to give links to these recent studies. To be honest, I do not care though. I just think this is a disingenuous use of research. I understand why you want to do defend your gender though. Good luck in your quest.
ltjg45 Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 For guys in their 20's and early 30's, most of the dating woes Ive heard are "she wont put out" and "shes not that hot" or something about her not doing what he wants to do/catering to him. Kinda hard for me to be sympathetic. The majority of complaints I hear from women about men revolve around them being shallow and assholish Well, you can be constantly shut down and not get any attention from women like I have. That is why I don't consider dating as high anymore and is starting to get more comfortable being single. I mean, really. What's the point?
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