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A few weeks ago I told him I was over the whole "friends" thing and deleted his number. I got frustrated with him telling me how special I was to him, how much he would always love me, but then he couldn't even be a decent friend while trying to figure himself out. I wasn't as nice as I could have been. Basically, I told him that I didn't deserve to be lied or to settle for a phony friendship.

 

I know that we can't be friends. I know that I have a right to be upset with him and that I need to take space. I know that I can't apologize/try to be kind again, because it will result in the same frustrations that caused me to freak out on him in the first place.

 

I just wish our relationship didn't have to end in us hating each other and there's nothing I can do about it.

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