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Would you guys give your significant other your credit card to test her loyalty?

Driftking102

By Driftking102
in General Relationship Discussion

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Driftking102 Established Member

Driftking102

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I'm probably gonna be totally yelled at for doing this on this forum. Would you give your girlfriend or significant other your credit card in order to develop a sense of trust in your relationship? I'm young so I have plenty of time to pay it off if she totally screws me. I wanted to test her and give her my card which doesn't have a very high balance on it and I never give her money at all. We already trust each other a lot but I wanted to do an ultimate test tonight by giving her my card. Money comes and goes to me but having a person who loves you and trusts you is far more important. What do u guys think?

SmileFace Established Member

SmileFace

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What?:confused:

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Poppy fields Established Member

Poppy fields

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Does she need to use the card for something specific? Did she ask you for help? Or, are you just going to whip it out and offer it to her? Don't you think she might be insulted or confused by that?

RachR Established Member

RachR

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I'm probably gonna be totally yelled at for doing this on this forum. Would you give your girlfriend or significant other your credit card in order to develop a sense of trust in your relationship? I'm young so I have plenty of time to pay it off if she totally screws me. I wanted to test her and give her my card which doesn't have a very high balance on it and I never give her money at all. We already trust each other a lot but I wanted to do an ultimate test tonight by giving her my card. Money comes and goes to me but having a person who loves you and trusts you is far more important. What do u guys think?

 

Don't. Do. It.

 

 

Don't ever share finances unless you're married. Even then, have separate banking accounts, IMO.

 

And just the fact that you're talking about making this a "test" and "money comes and goes" blah blah...shows your immaturity.

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Driftking102 Established Member

Driftking102

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Does she need to use the card for something specific? Did she ask you for help? Or, are you just going to whip it out and offer it to her? Don't you think she might be insulted or confused by that?

 

She didn't ask for help or anything. I just gave it to her and she seemed to not get insulted or confused. We share everything with each other now anyways.

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Driftking102 Established Member

Driftking102

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Don't. Do. It.

 

 

Don't ever share finances unless you're married. Even then, have separate banking accounts, IMO.

 

And just the fact that you're talking about making this a "test" and "money comes and goes" blah blah...shows your immaturity.

 

We have seperate accounts but I wanted to trust her to see if she's really here for me or if she's gonna run my credit card up and then leave after. I think this is a great test. It's short term as far as her having the card and if I only have 1000 in debt after this incident then I've gotten rid of the girl who ended up being a money grubber. However if she completes the test then ill only have a little bit of debt which means at least 50 dollars-100 dollars and the girl is here for me. to me its important to give tests to your significant other from time to time.

Poppy fields Established Member

Poppy fields

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She didn't ask for help or anything. I just gave it to her and she seemed to not get insulted or confused. We share everything with each other now anyways.

 

OK, so now you are hoping she passes some test she doesn't even know she is taking? Since you guys share everything now, did you share the expectations for how the bill would be handled? You know, like adults do. Are you hoping she messes this up? What would constitute messing it up if there are no boundaries? This is a bit twisted.

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ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

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No.

 

There is much cheaper ways to test her loyalty. I don't need to give her the A-OK to throw me back in debt again.

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Driftking102 Established Member

Driftking102

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OK, so now you are hoping she passes some test she doesn't even know she is taking? Since you guys share everything now, did you share the expectations for how the bill would be handled? You know, like adults do. Are you hoping she messes this up? What would constitute messing it up if there are no boundaries? This is a bit twisted.

 

I'm not hoping she messes up. I'm hoping she passes actually. messing up would be running my credit card to Max amount over a day.

Poppy fields Established Member

Poppy fields

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I'm not hoping she messes up. I'm hoping she passes actually. messing up would be running my credit card to Max amount over a day.

 

But do you see how you are setting her up for failure by setting no boundaries. That is not fair to her. If she knew the parameters I am sure she would respect them, but you are not giving her a true chance by playing childish games. Have a financial talk with her in regards to your expectations for the card, and then see if she can respect those. That is the only true and honest way to ''test" her if you feel you just have to do so.

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Driftking102 Established Member

Driftking102

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But do you see how you are setting her up for failure by setting no boundaries. That is not fair to her. If she knew the parameters I am sure she would respect them, but you are not giving her a true chance by playing childish games. Have a financial talk with her in regards to your expectations for the card, and then see if she can respect those. That is the only true and honest way to ''test" her if you feel you just have to do so.

 

I told her I trust her not to run my card up to the max.

Poppy fields Established Member

Poppy fields

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I'm not hoping she messes up. I'm hoping she passes actually. messing up would be running my credit card to Max amount over a day.

 

I told her I trust her not to run my card up to the max.

 

OK, does she know the maximum? Does she know the maximum amount you would be comfortable with her charging on the card? Is this card for emergencies, or did you say she could buy some things for herself? The more info she had, the easier it will be for her to pass this strange test. A test you claim you want her to pass. Set her up for success then.

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Driftking102 Established Member

Driftking102

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OK, does she know the maximum? Does she know the maximum amount you would be comfortable with her charging on the card? Is this card for emergencies, or did you say she could buy some things for herself? The more info she had, the easier it will be for her to pass this strange test. A test you claim you want her to pass. Set her up for success then.

 

She knows the limit on all my cards and accounts as do I know the limits on hers. I told her she can use it when she needs to.

reaver Established Member

reaver

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**** no.

 

I use to work at a bank.

 

DONT EVER DO THAT. Repeat it 3 times.

 

If she steals your money you are screwed

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Poppy fields Established Member

Poppy fields

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She knows the limit on all my cards and accounts as do I know the limits on hers. I told her she can use it when she needs to.

 

OK, well what if there is an emergency with her car, or something comparable, would you be OK with her using it then because she needs to? Even if it approaches that magic number where you will proclaim she had failed your test?

candie13 Established Member

candie13

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Don't understand what you hope to achieve. Ok, let's assume she spends 50 bucks. Did she win or fail? How about 100? How about 150?

 

It's f*cked up. Don't get it. For instance, my previous bf gave me his Amex. He was working like there was no tomorrow and had very little time (and patience) to go shopping for clothes - for him. So his kind request was for me to enter one or two male shops, when shopping for me, and pick him some nice sweaters. I did that once or twice.

 

Never thought about it as a test. Never used it for me... in my book, you either trust or don't trust a person. Giving them your credit cards solves nothing, unless you have a clear purpose to it or she made you doubt on a few things, related to finances, before.

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Driftking102 Established Member

Driftking102

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OK, well what if there is an emergency with her car, or something comparable, would you be OK with her using it then because she needs to? Even if it approaches that magic number where you will proclaim she had failed your test?

 

I would be okay with that cuz its am emergency. Just if she bought random crap with it and ran it up to the mad then she would fail.

Poppy fields Established Member

Poppy fields

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I would be okay with that cuz its am emergency. Just if she bought random crap with it and ran it up to the mad then she would fail.

 

Your boundaries are nonexistent and will cause problems. I wish you would respect her enough not to play these silly games.

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

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Wait, how old are you? This is so ridiculous. Are you 18 with your first credit card? Thankfully $1000 limit is really low, but it's still a horrible idea.

 

How about you just go by her actions?

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normal person Established Member

normal person

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It's short term as far as her having the card and if I only have 1000 in debt after this incident then I've gotten rid of the girl who ended up being a money grubber.

 

If a $1000 charge is going to put you in the red, you're broke and you don't have any money for her to grub anyways. If she was after some guy's money, she'd go after someone who wouldn't notice $1000 missing.

 

I don't really see the point in you doing this. Is she trustworthy other times? Has she given you any reason to think she can't be trusted? If not, why bother?

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veggirl Established Member

veggirl

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I think if you have to give your partner ANYTHING as a "test" then your relationship has already failed.

 

Do you plan on doing this with all future girlfriends? Cause if your credit limit is 1k then I assume you are very young and will have a few more gf's in your life. What will you do when your credit limit is 20k? Still give your gf one as a test? lol come on man.

 

You sound very immature. She probably is as well. I'd never accept a credit card from my bf, I mean whats the point, I have my own and can take care of myself.

Did you add her onto the account then, or how else can she use it?

How long have you two been together?

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ChessPieceFace Established Member

ChessPieceFace

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Sure.

 

I'd give her the bill too.

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

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If you think such a test is warranted, just forget it and break up with her.

 

If you want to buy her stuff by letting her take your card shopping, that would be generous. Of course you'd tell her the maximum to be spent.

 

But as a "test"? :sick:

 

If I were in her shoes, I'd be the one doing the breaking up.

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SmileFace Established Member

SmileFace

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If you think such a test is warranted, just forget it and break up with her.

 

If you want to buy her stuff by letting her take your card shopping, that would be generous. Of course you'd tell her the maximum to be spent.

 

But as a "test"? :sick:

 

If I were in her shoes, I'd be the one doing the breaking up.

 

After spending all his money

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Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

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After spending all his money

 

Yup! All fifty dollars of it.

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