blue92 Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Hello, somehow i found this forum and i think its very useful and i may feel identified with some of your topics. Let me tell you my problem. These days i've been crying more than usual... The thing is, i met my bf in an online game some years ago, we found we are like soulmates, and we became a couple without even asking (this year), only making clear the situation that we love each other and we want to be together and meet someday (we have like 400km of distance and none of us has money to travel). I can't even tell the happiness he makes me feel and everything... but despite of that, this year i've cried more than i did in my whole life.... i always push myself to think things i shouldn't, and that makes me feel sad, besides sometimes i take some things he says in a different meaning and then i cry again... My question is, is this normal? I've been thinking of visiting a psychologist seriously... has anyone been through this before?
cerridwen Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 What you've described doesn't sound particularly normal, no. I'm having to fill in some blanks since you're being a bit vague but it sounds like there's distorted thinking anxiety on-going depression (not saying clinical). Given that, seeing a psychologist sounds like a good idea. LDRs can be painful at times but it seems like in your case, much more is going on. 2
HeavenOrHell Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 I wouldn't say this is normal no, especially over someone you've not even met or spent any time with. The times I've got depressed in my r/ship are the times when we're stressed and communication has been bad, sometimes I miss him and I feel sad, but not depressed as such, or not for long, sometimes it's hard to say goodbye after we've seen each other, but I rarely cry over missing him, I don't feel I miss him too much as I feel close to him, and we communicate a lot, and meet every few weeks. I'm not sure what you're crying over exactly, but it sounds like you have low self esteem? You worry you can't trust him or that he'll leave you? What is actually upsetting you? Hello, somehow i found this forum and i think its very useful and i may feel identified with some of your topics. Let me tell you my problem. These days i've been crying more than usual... The thing is, i met my bf in an online game some years ago, we found we are like soulmates, and we became a couple without even asking (this year), only making clear the situation that we love each other and we want to be together and meet someday (we have like 400km of distance and none of us has money to travel). I can't even tell the happiness he makes me feel and everything... but despite of that, this year i've cried more than i did in my whole life.... i always push myself to think things i shouldn't, and that makes me feel sad, besides sometimes i take some things he says in a different meaning and then i cry again... My question is, is this normal? I've been thinking of visiting a psychologist seriously... has anyone been through this before? 2
Author blue92 Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 Thank you so much for your answers. Yeah sorry for not being that specific, I didn't tell why i get to be sad I'm not sure what you're crying over exactly, but it sounds like you have low self esteem? You worry you can't trust him or that he'll leave you? What is actually upsetting you? Well you pointed it exactly. I have kinda low self esteem... im the type of girl that wouldn't go out for a party or even with friends if because i dont have something to wear, to mention an example. I'm afraid of not being what he expects, although i think anyone and even him can think the same. The thing is we met and years after we showed a simple pic or ourselves, we liked each other (he managed some way to say it without saying "you are cute" because he is super shy and not the kind of boy that compliments girls) but that doesn't say anything. Maybe he points out someone that is a little chubby in a pic, and that makes me feel he will care. Im not skinny, im normal, although i always had low esteem because of this. Another reason that makes me sad is, how im going to tell my mother about this without crying, and how it will be posible to meet since in my country its like considered dangerous to meet someone you know from internet, and my family will never understand that not everyone have bad intentions and most of the people on the internet are normal people like us. Thanks for reading and answering
justwhoiam Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 this year i've cried more than i did in my whole life.... Me too. i always push myself to think things i shouldn't, and that makes me feel sad, besides sometimes i take some things he says in a different meaning and then i cry again... I know both feelings you're describing. is this normal? Yes, it is. In the sense that it's normal in life. As a phase. If it were always like that, it'd be terrible. I also think that there are people that can be happy with very very little, but the other side of the coin is that that's possible because they are so sensitive that everything is somehow amplified. So they can enjoy things at an incredible level, but if things turn bad, they feel it more than others. What is not advisable is developing such strong feelings for someone you've never met before. And can't be your boyfriend. I would think a psychologist can help if you really feel you can't manage things on your own. Chances are you actually can't right now. I've always been able to manage things on my own (so far). Though when I was younger I took up social psychology for two years. Let's say that when you make it by yourself and look back, and see what you went through, you can be very proud of yourself for how strong you were, and that can help you a lot. I don't climb mountains, but in some ways, the feelings are the same as those of a climber reaching the target peak. It's life anyway. But make sure you have reliable people you can talk to. Don't isolate yourself too much. If you feel too lonely and with no one to talk to, then a psychologist could really help getting out of that spiral. I'm afraid of not being what he expects, although i think anyone and even him can think the same. I don't have low self esteem issues, but one thing is what I think of myself and one thing what others think. I'm happy with myself. At times maybe not so much, but I am content with what I have. Wanting to be perfect for him is many women's dream I guess. So he won't need another woman, what for? There's you already. And he would never look at other women, because you're already perfect! That'd be cool, but maybe a little bit boring too. Fears of losing him are pretty common with him being so far away. And one can feel weak and cry. But as you said, there are wonderful times too. Also, remember that he most certainly sees you with different eyes, if he has a crush on you. Try to improve your appearance, but don't focus on that too much. Be happy he likes you and keep being the person he fell for. That's the best thing you can do. how im going to tell my mother about this without crying, and how it will be posible to meet since in my country its like considered dangerous to meet someone you know from internet, and my family will never understand that not everyone have bad intentions and most of the people on the internet are normal people like us. I think in most countries it's just the same as in yours. How old are you by the way?
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