Why are men hammered for wanting to date women they're attracted to?

[SJC2008]

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting someone that you find attractive. I don't bash women for it and I don't bash men for it either. I tend to ignore the "shallow" argument, because I don't particularly see anything wrong with being "shallow". Not everybody is going to be a deep person romantically speaking - whether it benefits them or not. And this is not exclusive to men either.

 

As a man, a woman's character and internal traits mean a lot to me - but not at the expense of my physical attraction to her. I'm unapologetic about that.

 

It's very hard to define being shallow. Some say people are as shallow as their looks allow them to be. MY definition of shallow is if I had the choice of a stunner and a cute chick that I was attracted to, and the stunner had ZERO personality and the cute chick had a great personality and I chose the stunner.

 

Amen at the bold.

[tbf]

I'll be the last person to expect anyone to settle for anyone they find unattractive. If it takes a decade, wait it out until you find the right person.

 

But the perpetual whining is annoying, be they male or female. If you bring nothing to the table but have unrealistic standards, yeah, well, good luck with it. And even if you bring a royal flush, the higher the standards, the longer it's going to take to find a partner to meet those standards. So STFU.

[reaver]

It's very hard to define being shallow. Some say people are as shallow as their looks allow them to be. MY definition of shallow is if I had the choice of a stunner and a cute chick that I was attracted to, and the stunner had ZERO personality and the cute chick had a great personality and I chose the stunner.

 

Amen at the bold.

 

Yeah I find most men dont do that unless the stunning chick is literally atrocious personality-wise.

 

I have seen many scenarios with a super hot chick with an ehhhh personality and a cute one with a great personality. Hot chick wins every time. many times those men said personality was important. What people say they do and what they actually do are different.

 

Come to my yard.

[xxoo]

Ehh if somebody makes you cringe just at the thought of being with them intimately i dont care how much lack of sucess you have its not something i can do personally.

 

I can get escorts if i want to have sex with attractive women

 

That's difficult for me to understand, but ok.

 

I'd rather be alone.

[Poppy fields]

I rarely see a couple in which the man is more attractive than the woman. Then again I probably wouldn't notice unless he looked like Adonis and the woman was a heifer. In the few cases I can think of where maybe this did happen, the guy was typically not much more attractive and a real loser in other aspects of his life - chronically unemployed, poor character, lazy, unmotivated, etc.

 

No, my husband is more attractive than I am and is gainfully employed, provides well for our family, worships both me and our daughter, and is the most genuine person you will ever meet. I am far from bag over my head status, but he is markedly more attractive than me.

[Anela]

Because if I could never, ever get loving, I'd probably start thinking that any warm, kind body looked attractive. So I don't quite get it.

 

It doesn't work that way for me.

 

And if I feel like whining, nobody has to read it. It isn't as though I've done no work on myself, and blame men on the whole for my problems. I've wondered why I attract the men that I do (men I'm not attracted to - most of the time, not all), and know what my issues are.

[PJKino]

That's difficult for me to understand, but ok.

 

I'd rather be alone.

 

You dont know the male sex drive i dont want to go my whole life without sex id go crazy

[reaver]

You dont know the male sex drive i dont want to go my whole life without sex id go crazy

 

 

 

Where do you live? Many women in the US will have one night stand sex with you.

[tbf]

and blame men on the whole for my problems.

That's my major issue. Gender blaming when standards are unrealistic.

[ses]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be attracted to your partner. Isn't that natural? I recently went on a date with a guy. We clicked, but I'm not physically attracted to him. Honestly I felt really shallow and guilty initially; I thought I was being really superficial. Now I have to accept it and move on. We can only be friends because I lack the sexual desire that's imperative (for me) to be intimate.

 

Everyone is different and has their own tastes. Personality helps make the guy more attractive in my eyes but I need the initial physical chemistry. Your partner should want you, and you should feel the same.

[Anela]

Because there are a handful of insecure little girls who post here purporting to be women.

 

But the insecure little boys have a good point?

 

It doesn't bother me who they want to date, unless they're telling me that I should settle (because I'm over 35 and my eggs are desiccating), whilst the they - the male whiners - should be able to have that buxom babe that's busy overlooking them for men sh's attracted to (and deciding that she's so shallow, she should lower her standards and give them a break).

[reaver]

I find men are more likely to feel chemistry with girls that are very attractive.

Thats the issue. I dont necessarily feel chemistry with more attractive guys. Ive had chemistry with plenty of average looking guys.

 

I find it funny on this site alot of guys post threads about desperately chasing a super hot girl who treats him bad and then gives the cute but nice one less attention.

 

Nobody is disputing that attraction is important.

[SJC2008]

Yeah I find most men dont do that unless the stunning chick is literally atrocious personality-wise.

 

I have seen many scenarios with a super hot chick with an ehhhh personality and a cute one with a great personality. Hot chick wins every time. many times those men said personality was important. What people say they do and what they actually do are different.

 

Come to my yard.

 

I agree with you but we all know this scenario works both ways.

 

I'll bring a milkshake! Or is it your milkshake that brings the boys to the yard? lol

[reaver]

I agree with you but we all know this scenario works both ways.

 

I'll bring a milkshake! Or is it your milkshake that brings the boys to the yard? lol

 

Nope, I find it doesnt work both ways.

 

I find women tend to pick the guy that makes her feel better about herself. The more attractive guy often doesnt put as much effort in because he doesnt have to usually.

[xxoo]

You dont know the male sex drive i dont want to go my whole life without sex id go crazy

 

That just wraps back around to my confusion about cringing in the promise of a warm, kind body.

 

If you're that horny, I'd think the scope of "attractive" would widen commensurately.

[Revolver]

There's no point in dating someone your not attracted to, I don't know why men are demonized for this.

[PJKino]

I find men are more likely to feel chemistry with girls that are very attractive.

Thats the issue. I dont necessarily feel chemistry with more attractive guys. Ive had chemistry with plenty of average looking guys.

 

I find it funny on this site alot of guys post threads about desperately chasing a super hot girl who treats him bad and then gives the cute but nice one less attention.

 

Nobody is disputing that attraction is important.

 

Most of us aer not going after "super hot girls" but whatever helps you get through the day

[Poppy fields]

There's no point in dating someone your not attracted to, I don't know why men are demonized for this.

 

I didn't know they were. Not in my world at least.

[PJKino]

That just wraps back around to my confusion about cringing in the promise of a warm, kind body.

 

If you're that horny, I'd think the scope of "attractive" would widen commensurately.

 

Iam flexible and it still hasnt helped me but i also have a limit to if where my natural reaction to her looks is not pleasant then i cant get initmate with her..

 

With escorts i can get sexual release with attractive women

[reaver]

Iam flexible and it still hasnt helped me but i also have a limit to if where my natural reaction to her looks is not pleasant then i cant get initmate with her..

 

With escorts i can get sexual release with attractive women

 

PJKino there are attractive women ready to be your one night stand. Go find them.

 

Take a valium and talk up a drunk hottie at a bar.

[xxoo]

Iam flexible and it still hasnt helped me but i also have a limit to if where my natural reaction to her looks is not pleasant then i cant get initmate with her..

 

With escorts i can get sexual release with attractive women

 

 

Maybe if you didn't have the option of escorts, you'd find those women's looks more pleasant. Possible?

[TheBigQuestion]

But the insecure little boys have a good point?

 

It doesn't bother me who they want to date, unless they're telling me that I should settle (because I'm over 35 and my eggs are desiccating), whilst the they - the male whiners - should be able to have that buxom babe that's busy overlooking them for men sh's attracted to (and deciding that she's so shallow, she should lower her standards and give them a break).

 

This thread isn't about the male whiners. There have been plenty of threads and countless posts scattered throughout unrelated threads where their ridiculousness has been lambasted. Go post in those.

[chex]

No, my husband is more attractive than I am and is gainfully employed, provides well for our family, worships both me and our daughter, and is the most genuine person you will ever meet. I am far from bag over my head status, but he is markedly more attractive than me.

 

Wow.

 

He must be really hot.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Ehh if somebody makes you cringe just at the thought of being with them intimately i dont care how much lack of sucess you have its not something i can do personally.

 

But if it's they who're doing the cringing just at the thought of getting close to you … well then! They're shallow!

 

Right?

 

So YOU are a good example of the type of guy who gets hammered.

[Anela]

This thread isn't about the male whiners. There have been plenty of threads and countless posts scattered throughout unrelated threads where their ridiculousness has been lambasted. Go post in those.

 

As far as I know, you aren't a moderator, so mind your own business as to where I post.

 

As I stated, I only have a problem with the guys who insist that *I* should settle, when they're holding out for their dream girl. The only time I've lambasted guys here for those preferences have been when I've been told that I should settle, that I waited too long and should have taken advantage of my market value when I was younger.

 

I don't see men being hammered over wanting to date women they're attracted to, that's my issue! I don't see anyone bugging you over your being involved with a woman that you're attracted to (you have a girlfriend, right?).