Part of me can't imagine dating ever again...

April 10, 2013

So I have spent most of my day in bed, and praying that this guy texts me and looking at my phone and watching Sex and the City. I am just stuck thinking about how good everything was and how bad everything is now and I can't handle the constant emotional roller coaster. I never want to go through this again. I mean with online dating it is worrying about exclusivity, does he just want sex, when will he delete his profile. In person it's... idk I have never dated anyone/ hooked up with anyone I didn't meet online. I have no idea how meet a guy not online, I don't know where I would go... I started looking at places I can apply for jobs at and mostly I am just looking at receptionist jobs how am I going to meet a guy as a receptionist? While the idea of being 30 and single is tragic (no offense to the single ones out there) that is probably going to be me.. I am going to have this tragic life of being single forever. I mean I watch SATC, their lives seem fun but they live in NYC I would NEVER survive in a big city. I just want to live in the country and meet a country boy who dips and has a lifted truck. Blah maybe I will take a break from dating (I always say that and it lasts like 3 weeks until I get bored and want to be taken out) I am for sure doing the therapy but beyond that idk. I just don't understand how I can have SUCH a boring life I mean I joined meetup yesterday and even on there they travel places really far from me. I don't know.... I graduate in a month and once school is over how the hell am I going to meet men.

April 10, 2013

Being single at 30 is not tragic. I know many women in their early 30's in unhappy marriages and that are divorced.

Im nearly your age. Really, do not define your worth by a guy. Id research "co dependency." My best friend had alot of problems with that, your posts make it sound like you do, and she has come a long ways and seems much happier.

There are other things in life besides having a boyfriend that can make you happy.

April 10, 2013

So I have spent most of my day in bed, and praying that this guy texts me and looking at my phone and watching Sex and the City. I am just stuck thinking about how good everything was and how bad everything is now and I can't handle the constant emotional roller coaster. I never want to go through this again. I mean with online dating it is worrying about exclusivity, does he just want sex, when will he delete his profile. In person it's... idk I have never dated anyone/ hooked up with anyone I didn't meet online. I have no idea how meet a guy not online, I don't know where I would go... I started looking at places I can apply for jobs at and mostly I am just looking at receptionist jobs how am I going to meet a guy as a receptionist? While the idea of being 30 and single is tragic (no offense to the single ones out there) that is probably going to be me.. I am going to have this tragic life of being single forever. I mean I watch SATC, their lives seem fun but they live in NYC I would NEVER survive in a big city. I just want to live in the country and meet a country boy who dips and has a lifted truck. Blah maybe I will take a break from dating (I always say that and it lasts like 3 weeks until I get bored and want to be taken out) I am for sure doing the therapy but beyond that idk. I just don't understand how I can have SUCH a boring life I mean I joined meetup yesterday and even on there they travel places really far from me. I don't know.... I graduate in a month and once school is over how the hell am I going to meet men.

hold your reins for a second, slow down, breathe in, breathe out....

you know what your problem is? you are too dependent. who cares if you are single and 30?! whoopie dee doo! Embrace the singlehood woman!

you can do whatever you please. you can shop, eat ice-cream, you don't have to weigh yourself everyday, you don't have to go to bed with make up on or worry about your breath in the morning...you can wear sweat pants whenever you feel like it, you can smack bubble gum and flirt with random boys, you can order in as much as you want and spend your money on no one else but you, you get the whole bed instead of one little side and greatest thing, you don't have to jack off your dildo (sorry)...I mean, I could go on and on...

Stop being dependent. Live your life to the fullest, be happy, pamper yourself, do your thing and walk tall!

When you stop looking, you'll find him. I promise.

April 10, 2013

Being single at 30 is not tragic. I know many women in their early 30's in unhappy marriages and that are divorced.
Im nearly your age. Really, do not define your worth by a guy. Id research "co dependency." My best friend had alot of problems with that, your posts make it sound like you do, and she has come a long ways and seems much happier.
There are other things in life besides having a boyfriend that can make you happy.

I'm 22, I have 8 years but I mean if you think about it that isn't a ton of time.

Is your friend in a relationship? I mean I guess it isn't tragic but it isn't like good either, again I guess it comes down to the fact that I am in a small town where people get married shortly after college and stay here but that doesn't seem like a bad life. Or they get pregnant by the person they are dating and then eventually marry them (that is an option too)

April 10, 2013

I feel like kind of a bitch, I have texted a few "blasts from the past" just to like have someone to text but.. I don't even know if I'm interested in them... I just don't feel like being bothered.

April 10, 2013

I'm 22, I have 8 years but I mean if you think about it that isn't a ton of time.

Is your friend in a relationship? I mean I guess it isn't tragic but it isn't like good either, again I guess it comes down to the fact that I am in a small town where people get married shortly after college and stay here but that doesn't seem like a bad life. Or they get pregnant by the person they are dating and then eventually marry them (that is an option too)

you are flippin only 22?! girl, get out of here!

getting married at 22? no way, no how! too young. now is your time to flirt and have fun, not be tied down!

Or they get pregnant by the person they are dating and then eventually marry them. Oh yuck! Even better?!

You are going to be one of those that settle, aren't ya..well whatever blows up your skirt...

April 10, 2013

1.) SatC isn't good for single women. Single women shouldn't be allowed to watch it until they are married then they can laugh at the girls' stupidity.

2.) You meet people by going outside. I'd pay for a government agency who would act as mother for the bitter and forlorn of LS. She would do what any good mother would do. Kick them outside once a day and not let them back in until they have played or it is supper time, which ever came last.

Lol I mean i go outside, I go to class once a day, physical therapy, walmart... thats about it. SATC is my favorite show.

April 10, 2013

So I have spent most of my day in bed, and praying that this guy texts me and looking at my phone and watching Sex and the City.

At this point, do you honestly think you are going to feel better after he texts you? Men who love you and care about you don't let you wonder and stress out over how they feel about you. They don't let your text messages sit there without a response when you've asked for one. You should grieve and take your time to do so as necessary, but your relationship is over. I am sorry that it didn't work out.

I am just stuck thinking about how good everything was and how bad everything is now

You hadn't seen him in three weeks. That's good? Aren't you worth more than that? Aren't you worth a guy who wants to see you sometimes? Your perspective is so completely out of whack.

What has changed since Friday? Nothing, really. You weren't seeing him before, and you aren't seeing him now.

and I can't handle the constant emotional roller coaster. I never want to go through this again. I mean with online dating it is worrying about exclusivity, does he just want sex, when will he delete his profile. In person it's... idk I have never dated anyone/ hooked up with anyone I didn't meet online.

Yes, dating can be stressful and heartbreaking. This is why everyone on this site encourages you to not pour your heart into one guy too soon -- because two months later, what you are going through right now happens. It does get easier as you get older.

I have no idea how meet a guy not online, I don't know where I would go...

Out of your bed would be a great start.

I started looking at places I can apply for jobs at and mostly I am just looking at receptionist jobs

Why are looking at receptionist jobs? Surely your college degree qualifies you for something more than that? Maybe you should take a trip to the Career Office at your school to dicuss your options.

how am I going to meet a guy as a receptionist?

Everything you do in life should not be about meeting a guy.

While the idea of being 30 and single is tragic (no offense to the single ones out there) that is probably going to be me.. I am going to have this tragic life of being single forever.

Being 30 and single is way, way less tragic than lying in bed all day crying over a guy you haven't seen in three weeks and have only known for two months. Here are a few more things that are more tragic than being single and 30:

The death of your parents
The death of your child
Losing your legs in an automobile accident
Being diagnosed with cancer
Being in an unhappy marriage
Living in North Korea
Your house burning to the ground
Having your identity stolen
Being allergic to cheese
Getting a brain injury

Does that give you any perspective about how lucky you are?

I just want to live in the country and meet a country boy who dips and has a lifted truck.

It'll be really awesome when he gets jaw cancer from the dip. Look that up in Google images.

I just don't understand how I can have SUCH a boring life

Because YOU are BORING. All you do is harp on how much you need a guy. If you actually had some interests outside of that, guess what? You wouldn't be so bored!

I mean I joined meetup yesterday and even on there they travel places really far from me.

Really? Every single group? But who cares? Maybe you should go to some of those places. How far is "really far?" Thirty minutes?

I graduate in a month and once school is over how the hell am I going to meet men.

According to what you just posted, you never met any men in college anyway, so what changes? Nothing, apparently.

You'll meet men when you aren't so worried about meeting men.

April 10, 2013

So I have spent most of my day in bed, and praying that this guy texts me and looking at my phone and watching Sex and the City. I am just stuck thinking about how good everything was and how bad everything is now and I can't handle the constant emotional roller coaster. I never want to go through this again. I mean with online dating it is worrying about exclusivity, does he just want sex, when will he delete his profile. In person it's... idk I have never dated anyone/ hooked up with anyone I didn't meet online. I have no idea how meet a guy not online, I don't know where I would go... I started looking at places I can apply for jobs at and mostly I am just looking at receptionist jobs how am I going to meet a guy as a receptionist? While the idea of being 30 and single is tragic (no offense to the single ones out there) that is probably going to be me.. I am going to have this tragic life of being single forever. I mean I watch SATC, their lives seem fun but they live in NYC I would NEVER survive in a big city. I just want to live in the country and meet a country boy who dips and has a lifted truck. Blah maybe I will take a break from dating (I always say that and it lasts like 3 weeks until I get bored and want to be taken out) I am for sure doing the therapy but beyond that idk. I just don't understand how I can have SUCH a boring life I mean I joined meetup yesterday and even on there they travel places really far from me. I don't know.... I graduate in a month and once school is over how the hell am I going to meet men.

I am new to this part of LS but have read many of your threads. I am a 37 year old, single mom and I couldn't be happier to be single. I get to do what I want, when I want and with who I want. Being alone isn't the worst thing in the world, I promise. I never wanted to marry and have babies. I wanted to travel and enjoy life before I even entertained that though. I thought at 25 I was way too young to have a child. It did help me grow up but I also lost a lot of freedom, I could have waited til I was 30 or older to become a mom.

You are 22, you have a lot of time to grow and become someone amazing. Being reliant on a man is just irritating to me. In all of my years I have never been anything like you. If anything, I was the polar opposite. You seem to have many issues with not being able to be alone and need validation from men(boys). I have never met anyone online to date, it seems sketchy to me. Every single one of the men I have dated I have met in person, through friends, on accident or whatever. You have to actually leave your bed and not live in a warped SaTC show. That is NOT life. No one walks around fabulous all the time, it isn't reality at all.

Girl, I have been around and had my heart stomped on, broken, torn apart and have done the same. Get it together and worry about the real things in life. Work, school, friends. The man stuff will come when the time is right. Willing and wishing won't make it happen. Every man I have met has happened when I wasn't looking. You can wish in one hand and ***** in the other and see which one fills up faster.

I know I was a bit all over the place with this but it is just kinda sad. You need to get out there and be confident.

April 10, 2013

At this point, do you honestly think you are going to feel better after he texts you? Men who love you and care about you don't let you wonder and stress out over how they feel about you. They don't let your text messages sit there without a response when you've asked for one. You should grieve and take your time to do so as necessary, but your relationship is over. I am sorry that it didn't work out.

You hadn't seen him in three weeks. That's good? Aren't you worth more than that? Aren't you worth a guy who wants to see you sometimes? Your perspective is so completely out of whack.

What has changed since Friday? Nothing, really. You weren't seeing him before, and you aren't seeing him now.

Yes, dating can be stressful and heartbreaking. This is why everyone on this site encourages you to not pour your heart into one guy too soon -- because two months later, what you are going through right now happens. It does get easier as you get older.

Out of your bed would be a great start.

Why are looking at receptionist jobs? Surely your college degree qualifies you for something more than that? Maybe you should take a trip to the Career Office at your school to dicuss your options.

Everything you do in life should not be about meeting a guy.

Being 30 and single is way, way less tragic than lying in bed all day crying over a guy you haven't seen in three weeks and have only known for two months. Here are a few more things that are more tragic than being single and 30:

The death of your parents
The death of your child
Losing your legs in an automobile accident
Being diagnosed with cancer
Being in an unhappy marriage
Living in North Korea
Your house burning to the ground
Having your identity stolen
Being allergic to cheese
Getting a brain injury

Does that give you any perspective about how lucky you are?

It'll be really awesome when he gets jaw cancer from the dip. Look that up in Google images.

Because YOU are BORING. All you do is harp on how much you need a guy. If you actually had some interests outside of that, guess what? You wouldn't be so bored!

Really? Every single group? But who cares? Maybe you should go to some of those places. How far is "really far?" Thirty minutes?

According to what you just posted, you never met any men in college anyway, so what changes? Nothing, apparently.

You'll meet men when you aren't so worried about meeting men.

The part about the dip is kinda funny (not jaw cancer of course.. that's not funny) but my ex(?) dips and we would joke about how he isn't going to have a jaw and he was like "I would kill myself you would dump me" and I was like "no I wouldn't, I would like you even if you didn't have a jaw" and idk we were just funny and cute about that. Anyways I agree about the tragic stuff, and all the other stuff. I feel like normal people don't have to use things like "meet up" to meet people, anyways I am going to try. As far as being a receptionist, I am a justice studies major I had every intent to go to law school eventually so until then I don't mind being a receptionist. I almost applied at a tanning salon.

April 10, 2013

I almost applied at a tanning salon.

Bwhahah. I am so happy this says almost... lmfao

April 10, 2013

I'm 22, I have 8 years but I mean if you think about it that isn't a ton of time.

8 years is a LONG time and many things will change. I am not even the same person I was 3 months ago. We constantly evolve and grow as people. I didn't know who I was at 22, 25...It came with maturity. I have to go through a lot of stuff to get to a point where I was happy with myself. Therapy helped a lot.

There is no timeline for babies and marriage. Just because someone else is doing something doesn't mean I have to. At my age, only a handful of my friends are married, some have been divorced and most have kids. We all enjoy being single and being able to have fun with no crap.

April 10, 2013

Bwhahah. I am so happy this says almost... lmfao

I have the certification to work there because I almost did in HS too, I figured then it was a good way to meet boys lol or girls who know boys haha

April 10, 2013

I feel like normal people don't have to use things like "meet up" to meet people, anyways I am going to try.

Tons and tons of normal people use Meet Up. You wouldn't believe how many cool and awesome people I've met through the groups on that site. There are a lot of great people who just want to meet people to hang out with. I would've killed to have something like Meet Up when I was your age. We didn't even have online dating back then in the stone age and had to settle for meeting people in person.

As far as being a receptionist, I am a justice studies major I had every intent to go to law school eventually so until then I don't mind being a receptionist. I almost applied at a tanning salon.

Isn't there anything else you can do with a justice studies major? For most receptionist jobs you don't even need a degree. I admit that I don't know much about that particular major, but there must be actual jobs in that field. At least look for a job as a paralegal, clerk, or secretary at a law firm. Let them know you are interested in law school and would like to learn more about working at a law firm. Actually working at a law firm will help you decide whether you want to drop $100,000 on law school before you commit yourself to it. Or look for jobs at your local court house.

April 10, 2013

If you want to meet guys be a mechanic.

Lol I'm not skillful when it comes to cars at all

April 10, 2013

That's what auto schools are for.

I'm graduating college I don't think I would spend another minute in school anytime soon

April 10, 2013

You need a mentor. Samantha from Sex and the City would be perfect. She is someone you could relate to, and she would not be crying in her Cheerios at 22 about not having a boyfriend. She would be having the time of her life, as you should be at the moment.

I think it is unfortunate, but you sound really, really depressed. That is probably a Captain Obvious statement, and I am glad you are going to get some therapy.

April 10, 2013

What are you majoring in?

Justice Studies

April 10, 2013

I am just stuck thinking about how good everything was and how bad everything is now

Oh.

Please tell us how good things were in the past.

April 10, 2013

Samantha would be dead by 20 from a newly discovered STD only she could contract from the cesspool festering inside of her. She is no one's role model except maybe an undertaker looking to improve business.

I was saying that tongue in cheek.

April 10, 2013

I have the certification to work there because I almost did in HS too, I figured then it was a good way to meet boys lol or girls who know boys haha

Please stop. Just stop. Stop with the "it's a place to meet boys!" "How do I meet boys!" "I need to meet boys!" "How can I meet boys working as a receptionist!?"

Everything always needs to come back to being about boys right? Don't you see anything wrong with the way you view things?

How about, I want to get a job working at a salon so I can meet new girlfriends and I can make some lasting friendships?

Or, I want to join Meetup and start volunteering so I can give back to my community?

You literally have absolutely nothing in that head of yours but cotton balls and the word "boys." STOP IT.

April 10, 2013

I know I need to refocus.

April 10, 2013

She is a breath of fresh air. She is the only female that has stayed who likes boys.

What?

April 10, 2013

I know I need to refocus.

Knowing and "doing" are two completely different things.

You're doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. You need to change your routine. Obviously being in college didn't get you the boys you wanted, meeting guys online isn't getting you the relationship you want... so why don't you do something different?

April 10, 2013

When I was in my very early 20s, I worked at a bookstore. One of my coworkers was a woman in her 30s. She was mellow as ****. It was awesome. She was so confident, so laid back, etc. I remember her telling me one day that she used to be like me (so anxious and worried about what others thought, etc.), but one day she fell off a horse. I mean, literally fell off a horse. Something happened when she hit her head, and when she recovered, she was pretty much the same, minus the anxiety.

I hope IB falls off a horse soon.

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Part of me can't imagine dating ever again...

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