Sailynn Posted September 15, 2004 Posted September 15, 2004 "I hope you're doing well, I'm praying for you and I wish you the best now and always. " Pretty much the big kiss off, right? These are words my ex-GF wrote to me, unsolicited. I thought the words were rather trivial. Almost sounds as if she is concerned. Five months later, I pass her on a sidewalk and get the "drop dead in hell" - "you don't exist" look. Seems as if she's mad about something and I'm the target. I guess the "no contact" got to her...
AsGoodAsItGets01 Posted September 15, 2004 Posted September 15, 2004 I have just started 2 weeks of no contact...but my girlfriend said take care, and I hope you will be alright...now she is a sweet girl and she meant it. she also said she didn't want me to wait around. but this was right after i called her crying and tried to get her back...shes dating someone else now... but i know now that i have to get in on with my life because I can't try to get her back....she has to have time to figure out things for herself...and we have never gone 2 weeks or more without talking since she was 16...
werty Posted September 15, 2004 Posted September 15, 2004 nah.. dont mind it. u got it though till 5 months without her
Butchey Posted September 15, 2004 Posted September 15, 2004 Maybe no contact got to her. But those words "I'm hope your doing well etc. She may have wanted a response for many reasons like she still wants you to she just wants to get a rise out of you. If you can see her without getting angry or upset then you are doing well.
aFighter Posted September 15, 2004 Posted September 15, 2004 I'd dismiss it as quickly as i read it because I'd know she was full of .....
Author Sailynn Posted September 15, 2004 Author Posted September 15, 2004 That is EXACTLY the same thing I thought. Total BS..... I responded by asking her what she was really trying to say. Yea, she got a rise out of me, but it was my way of calling BS on her. I never heard anything back.... She's recently shown up at my health club to demonstrate she can ignore me, walk by me without speaking and smile at other men. I pay no attention to it. However, I did walk directly by her and said, "Well, I'll say hello." She turned, spoke, but never looked up or looked me in the eye. Another time, she just waved and walked by. I think she's PO'ed at me because I haven't chased after her. There is evidently a void in her life and she's not as happy as she thought she might be and she's blaming me for it. This is just speculation and not based on any facts, but I've learned over the years to implicitly trust my intuition. Thanks so much for you all.
Adunaphel Posted September 15, 2004 Posted September 15, 2004 Perhaps it is just me, but I'd find the "I'm praying for you" line offensive if it was from someone who dumped me, unless it was for a very good reason (like I hurt his feelings really badly). On the other hand, if you dumped her she might just be feeling really devastated. A friend of mine actually started praying for a guy who dumped her in a very jerkish way...she felt so bad, and instead of being mad she was wishing him the best ...pretty masochistic of her .....it was heartbreaking. (The anger surfaced a few months later.) Did you both agree to break up and is she very religious? If so, perhaps it was just a sweet thought and she really meant it when she said she hoped you were doing well.
Author Sailynn Posted September 16, 2004 Author Posted September 16, 2004 We had never been all that religious. I'm protestant and she's catholic. It all began when I began attending a night class a couple days a week and then my job made some additional demands on me and so did my elderly parents. The class was something I'd wanted to learn for many years. So, for about a week or two, I didn't see her as often because of class, work and other demands. I'm sure she felt neglected and it made her insecure. When I went to see her, she lit into me, calling me untrustworthy, self-centered, unreliable, yadda-yadda and just began picking me apart. She didn't discuss the issue, just being bitchy and putting me down. I hugged her, told her I loved her and that I had just been going through a demanding spurt and it had ended. I told her that I had discussed her with my parents and I was planning to ask her to marry me the very next month. I had taken the sailing class so I could sail her out on the water and ask her to marry me - romantic, right? Well, she thought I was just saying what I thought she wanted to hear. She told me her feelings had changed and that she couldn't be friends anymore, she was going to become a bitch if I stuck around and couldn't date me. BOOM! My world just exploded, so after hearing all this, I stood up and removed myself from her presence and said good-bye. I did not want to break up. Upon my departure, she said she was going try to become a better catholic. She handed me a prayer book and I said thank you. So, maybe she was feeling guilty and knowing she was hurting me and was, in fact, being sweet. But it's the thorns on the rose. I was offended by the "I'll pray for you...comment. I think she knows she hurt me. But now, to be so aloof and mad looking when I passed her by is puzzling. I haven't bothered her. It's been NO CONTACT and I'm grieving and moving on.
Butchey Posted September 16, 2004 Posted September 16, 2004 Dude, Good for you on the NC. She sounds like she has alot of issues to work out. You don't need that baggage!
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