HopingAgain Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 Since there have been a lot of newly betrayed spouses posting lately, I thought it may be helpful to post a thread about how some of us got through the immediate aftermath of Dday. Me personally, even though I wanted to crawl into a hole and die, I confided in 2 close friends the very night I found out. They advised me not to do anything crazy, to start making a plan of action but only after I tried to get some sleep, and basically talked me down from crisis mode. I kept telling myself that I would get through this, and even though my mind was in shock I made myself think about not only what had just happened, but the bigger picture and the consequences to any actions I may take. I didn't tell my H to get out right away, I wanted time to confront him and to get an explanation, and to process things first.
will1988 Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 oh I actually thought you were an 80 or 90 something year old man about to regale us with your D-Day, June 6th, 1944 story of invading Normandy, France. I was sadly let down. However, all joking aside, keep up the good work! 2
drifter777 Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 I'm not sure the word "survived" applies to all of us BS's as it implies there is something I did that helped me get though the shock. I just kept breathing in and out and a certain amount of acceptance that it really happened sank in after a couple weeks. At that point I stopped focusing on suicide and vowed to move forward and hate my wife for the rest of my life. Emotionally, I was like a stick thrown into a river. My feelings drifted in the current and after a while I ended up wherever I ended up. It took months before I started to face what had happened and years before I began releasing the pain, anger, and shame I felt toward my cheating wife. No remorse by my wife for years, no couples counseling. I had plenty of individual counseling but I was so ashamed of her cheating and that I "took her back" I never even talked about it with my counselor. If this is "getting through it" then I offer it as a really, really poor way to deal with d-day.
waterwoman Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 I kept breathing. Erm.....yep that's about it. Actually I girded my loins, squared my shoulders and got into fix it mode. I was superwoman!!! It lasted about 48 hrs and then I cried snotty tears and took time off work.
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