bbcc1983 Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 I am very frustrated. I have been single for a long while (a year and a half) I'm a 23 yo female. I had a breakup that literally devastated me to no end. Well time heals most wounds and I have recently started dating my ex who I was truly madly deeply (HA) in love with. Things are great. A lot has changed and I feel that we are ready to officially commit and make things work. During this year and a half of breaking up we were NC for almost a year. It was one of the worst things I've ever been through but I'm glad it happened. Anyway I moved away (not very far but the other side of town) and made new friends. A lot of these friends are guys. Well now that me and my ex are back on it seems like a lot of these guys I considered friends are making fun of my relationship. Harping on me all the time. Whenever I'm on a date they will make jokes abt coming out and finding us. They get really saracstic. It just seems like now that I'm dating someone they want to be all up in my business, wanting to know my whereabouts and copping attitudes when I tell them I'm out. For ex. Last night my guy friend called me. Didn't answer w my guy. I txt him asking what's up. He wanted to hang I couldn't and his response was "Well, have fun then" I know txts can be misconstrude(sp) but that kind of seems snappy. He proceeded to call me 2 more times while I was on my date and he txt me a few times after. WHAT?! One of my guy friends in particular can't seem to get over it. Everyone used to ask if we were dating bc of our dynamic. We are purely platonic but its def been blurry on both or ends sometimes. Well he just recently found out his ex is engaged and I think that hurt him. Now I'm dating my ex and he just seems so weird lately. Sometimes were all cool other times he acts like a jealous idiotm Now he's run to his abusive ex gf. She's literally broken his bones... What is the deal. Even some of my friends who are dating girls act so weird w me now that I am happy in my love life. Guys I haven't talked to in a long time just popping up out of nowhere. This is just weird. Why does this happen?! When u are happy ppl just want to throw a wrench in there. I know misery loves company but ur friends shouldn't want u to be miserable, right?
january2011 Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 ur friends shouldn't want u to be miserable, right? No, they shouldn't, but sometimes people don't like a change in the relationship dynamic. Especially if that change means that you have less time for them. My motto is that I'm not a mindreader, if you're interested and you don't say anything when I'm single, too bad for you. If these guys can't/won't respect your relationship and your space, tell them to back off. If they don't back off, I think it's the end of the friendship. 2
jcrew11 Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 When you are happy with another person, other people get jealous and think they are missing out on you. Also, other single guys will no longer see you as platonic (non-sexual) but as someone who is sexually desirable (in a sexual relationship) or at least willing to hook up with someone. 2
Woggle Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 Tell me about it. I get flirted with way more wearing a ring then when I was single. I never take them up on the offers but it does make people more attracted. 1
KungFuJoe Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 It's more about how you see yourself than how others see you. A woman can't look at a guy and tell if he's single or not. But YOU can. So when you're dating, you walk a little taller, and when you talk to a girl, you probably lose a little desperation in your tone. THOSE things a woman can sense a mile away.
SJC2008 Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 Sounds like a typical case of friend zoned guys being jealous. They should of made a move and moved on if you didn't like them in that way instead of haning around in the FZ hoping for a chace. This is why I don't do friends with females. TBS they need to respect you and if they keep it up drop them, you can make new friends. 1
ComeUpOutDaWahta Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 I think it's a confidence thing. Not only that, but the pressure's off. I was in a relationship for six years, and whenever I talked to other girls, I felt zero pressure for anything because I knew, at the end of the day, who I'd be coming home to. Now that I'm single and there's that possibility of something else, it makes me a little more nervous, maybe even a little eager to impress. That confidence you get from being with someone manifests itself, and other people notice. Plus it makes you a little more "dangerous" and unattainable, and that also leads to people being more attracted to you. Yeah, it's crappy in an ironic sort of way. All that water around you, and not a drop to drink... 2
jcrew11 Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Also, people are not just happy but they are on a "Love High" and just being really happy, friendly, and just really nice to every one because they are in a good mood. People who are Happy and Content with life just give out good vibes, and others find that attractive. 1
todreaminblue Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 guys seem to be able to build up the nerve when you say yes to one they go ok she is into dating so lets go for it......and they hit you...i agree with january....too late should have tried before....i am taken...i think its disrespectful to wait till someone else is in the picture ....i have had this happen before.........deb
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