So are we with the right partner?! :O? (sfx: don don don...)

[witmadskilllz]

I don't know the persons' name to give credits to, I just copied and pasted from FB this morning, a good read to share with the Loveshack community here because I find this to be very compelling and true!

 

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ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?

 

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"

 

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind

replied the author.

 

Here's the answer.

 

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you

fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,

want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

 

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

 

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

 

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

 

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you

may begin to desire that experience with someone

else. This is when relationships breakdown.

 

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

 

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

 

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

 

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

 

Because (listen carefully to this):

 

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

 

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know

WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

 

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

 

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

[witmadskilllz]

Does everyone agree with this?

 

Discuss.

[mtnbiker3000]

I do. As this sounds exactly like what happened with my ex. I decided early on that she was for me, and that never changed. But I think she was in love in the beginning, but then, exactly as the article states, she slowly started to think she can find better. Find that excitement again. And, as the article states, she probably will - temporarily, until the same cycle starts again.

 

I kind of knew about this phenomenon, and tried several times to talk about it and our RS in general with her. But she was not very responsive. We had crappy communication. And, she always thought a RS should just work without having to work at it. I know several women on here also state that things just change and people grow apart or incompatibilities surface (my ex's favorite). I have always been a believer that a RS takes work. A lot of work. But again, many here will state that if it wasn't meant to be, than it won't be.

 

I just don't know anymore...

[witmadskilllz]

I do. As this sounds exactly like what happened with my ex. I decided early on that she was for me, and that never changed. But I think she was in love in the beginning, but then, exactly as the article states, she slowly started to think she can find better. Find that excitement again. And, as the article states, she probably will - temporarily, until the same cycle starts again.

 

I kind of knew about this phenomenon, and tried several times to talk about it and our RS in general with her. But she was not very responsive. We had crappy communication. And, she always thought a RS should just work without having to work at it. I know several women on here also state that things just change and people grow apart or incompatibilities surface (my ex's favorite). I have always been a believer that a RS takes work. A lot of work. But again, many here will state that if it wasn't meant to be, than it won't be.

 

I just don't know anymore...

 

Well... how many people are you willing to date just to find one who is almost alike, if not, 100% compatible?

[mtnbiker3000]

I dunno. But apparently, she wants to try and figure that one out and is done with my butt

[mtnbiker3000]

I guess it depends what your role is in the BU. If you are the dumpee (me), then this argument makes perfect sense and one can only wonder why the dumper can't understand this. If you are the dumper (her), then you just don't want to invest time and effort in someone who you are just plain not interested in any longer. Now you are using statements like 'wasn't meant to be' and 'love you but not in love with you'. I have been here before and I know this is how I felt…

[reaver]

The only true love Ive had in my life did not sweep me off my feet. We were friends first and I slowly fell in love with him. He got GIGS and left me for another girl after 2 years. Actually said I was too laid back and boring so I scoff at men on this site who say they want a drama free girl. He tried to come back but I couldnt trust him again. We are sort of friends now, but I could never go back.

 

I prefer relationships that grow, not one where its strong in the beginning and tapers off.

[BrokenHeartedSavior]

Ours was strong-very strong from the start, her feelings faded eight years later. She's all, and everything I ever wanted. Now she's in love with someone else. Oh my god, the powerful connection we had in the beginning, physical and emotional. Hard to believe she shares that with another guy. Waaaay to painful to imagine, so I just wont. Guess it was just me because almost a year later I still don't want anyone else- and I wish I did.

[Am4Real]

No, I do not agree with it all -- it is too much of a generalization overlooking the different stages of any relationship.

 

Give this a read: LINK

[mtnbiker3000]

No, I do not agree with it all -- it is too much of a generalization overlooking the different stages of any relationship.

 

Give this a read: LINK

 

A great read and very eye-opening. Explains a lot about what may have happened to my RS. BUT, really makes me fearful of finding a truly successful RS. Seems like it is one in a million. I'd have better luck at winning the SuperBowl