JTB Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 Hello. I've been dating someone exclusively for 7 months now. Relationship has had some hard times but its mostly been good. I've never been given any reason to think I can't trust this girl. She has been loyal and accepting of me and we have been open about a lot of things. But something came up yesterday that I am having a hard time coping with. It was my girlfriend's birthday and I brought her dinner, flowers, card, cupcakes. She was thrilled. But when I was setting the table I noticed a medium sized giftwrapped box of chocolates, unopened. I thought very little of it at first but was curious who it came from. When I asked, she got very uncomfortable. She aid it was from "an old friend." I decided to press for details. She said I didn't want to know and she didn't think it was something I could handle hearing. SHe said it was "someone she is no longer in contact with." When I asked why she was being secretive about it, her response was that she thought it would create problems for us, cause it would hurt me. I encouraged her to talk to me, said its important that she be open with me. Finally, she told me. ABout a year and a half ago she tried out being an escort. For a certain period of time she was an ecort for one older client. APparently, there was a lot of money to be made which was her motivation, and she was curious about it cause a mutual friend made it sound like something she should try, but she ended up feeling creepy about it a certain amount of time in and she put an end to it about a year ago. So, about 3 months before we started dating is when she stopped her service to this person. She mentioned something about how she has had lunches since, and I should have asked if she has had lunches since our relationship started. She says the only message she sent him yesterday was to say thanks for the birthday gift. I tried to be supportive, said her past is in her past. The problem is.....clearly he still sent her a birthday present.......so he knows her well enough to know when her birthday is, and is sending her a gift. Makes me wonder if he has sent her other gifts, too, and she simply hasn't told me. so what I am wondering is....do I let this go? Do I ask more questions? I didn't want to, but my imagination ran wild last night trying envision how this sort of thing would work, what it would mean to someone emotionally, etc, and I tried to put things in perspective for how she would view me. I am insecure because it makes me wonder how she really thinks of me. It makes me wonder when she tells me I'm the best and all that....if I really am or if its an act. The real problem here may simply be my own insecurity. What I need to know is......SHOULD this bother me or should I let this go? If there are more questions I should ask, what should they be? I don't want to make this a bigger problem than it has to be.... Thanks for the help
WhatYouWantToHear Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 do I let this go?...Do I ask more questions?... SHOULD this bother me or should I let this go? Seriously, why are you here? Its obviously you've made up your mind to those questions. Are you seeking justification for being bothered about this? I'm not going to give it to you. Confront her again, continue to pick at this scab until it ruins your relationship and get it over with. If this incident doesn't do it, I am sure you will find something else in the future.
FitChick Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 He is less of a threat than an ex boyfriend for whom she would have had feelings. This guy was a former client and a pathetic one at that so less of a threat. However, I would put my foot down and tell her to break all contact with him because you don't like it, and she's not in that business any more, right? Clear up that last bit!
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