Perverts and Biology

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I thought 'You have a problem' was more like saying 'you're sick and you need help'. I didn't think it was meant a problem legally. But I can't be sure what the person meant anyways.

 

Legally speaking, yeah I definitely agree with you that him being in possession of an under aged girl's pics is illegal. I can definitely agree with that.

 

But him being attracted to a 17 year old isn't sick IMO because in 1 year she will hit that magical number that seems very arbitrary and then everything will be ok.

 

I think that my question is about the 18. How did people come up with that? If the brain doesn't fully form until 25 shouldn't the age be 25 then - 18 seems really arbitrary and the notion that something is completely wrong and perverted for a person who is 6 months shy of 18 is totally fine when they turn 18.

 

It just seems odd.

 

Thanks so much for your reply.

Oh and I definitely agree, if there are laws, people should definitely abide by them, even if how that law was decided on is unclear.

 

Thanks again

 

 

 

You're right, the "18.00000" IS really arbitrary, and that is exactly why we treat and respect the law as a black and white guideline.

 

The thing is, in some states, the law IS "16.0000000".

 

Why do we sit back and respect that others gain the right to vote at 18.000000 years of age and yet some feel the need to pick and choose who should be allowed to f*ck who despite their all having reached the age of legal consent.

 

I mean, in just this thread alone, there are clueless individuals using the term pedophile when nothing mentioned by anyone else remotely involves anything of the sort!

 

It still boils down to: you either have and show respect for the law, or you don't...

 

Now why should anyone want to spend time around those who clearly show no respect for the law?

 

Even though the age of consent is indeed very arbitrary, it has to be somewhere, and those who disagree with our laws have always had avenues through which they can attempt to sway public opinion and get those laws changed. Passing judgment on law-abiding citizens based on minority versions of what the law should be is moronic.

[EasyHeart]

You obviously don't read this board enough if you think women criticizing men for liking younger women is a rare occurrence. True, it tends to come in waves and isn't always obvious, but there is a palpable resentment among a vocal minority of female posters on LS of men who even dare discuss being involved with someone (in whatever arrangement they prefer) significantly younger than they.

It's even worse in real life. Much worse!

[tbf]

It's not a shaming device. Ephebophiliacs are just, plain creepy.

[TheBigQuestion]

It's even worse in real life. Much worse!

 

I agree. And the ridiculous part is that dating someone older than you can also subject you to ridicule by some women for no real reason. Around three years ago, at age 23, I was briefly involved with someone who was 18. Most people didn't bat an eyelash, but I did encounter some hostility from women in my social circle for even considering such an arrangement. A few months after that, I was somewhat hitting it off with a woman who was 31, and I was accused of "taking advantage of a vulnerable older woman because she was divorced," which honestly couldn't have been further from the truth. She wanted kids really fast and had a lot of baggage from said divorce, so naturally my 23-year-old-full-of-piss-and-vinegar self eventually declined to explore that option further.

 

Those experiences taught me a very important lesson, namely that no matter who I tried to date, SOME people would always try to deem my actions as predatory. Such projections are a great way for women to ... I don't even know what the motivation is, honestly.

 

Whether it's on LS or in real life, let the moronic, insecure, and catty bitches say whatever they want. Surround yourself ("yourself" in the general sense) with secure, fun, easy-going women (they're out there, I promise), date who you want, and recognize the people who try to infantilize women in their early 20s for what they really are: insecure, bitter, angry, projecting sad-sacks.

[USMCHokie]

edit.......

[EasyHeart]

It's not a shaming device. Ephebophiliacs are just, plain creepy.

I had to look that one up!

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I do not think there is anything wrong with acknowledging a good looking young person. You can even recognize a cute little 6 year old boy or girl. Or a handsome/pretty 10 year old child. Noticing attractiveness and being sexually attracted are two different things. I am a little disturbed by comments from people that found themselves looking sexually at 12/13 year old girls. I do think at times girls can look older than their age, but I don’t often seen 12/13 year olds that look *that* much older. Even if they have developed more pronounced breasts and boobs, you can still tell by other characteristics that they are not fully grown.

 

It’s the sexualizing of kids however that I do find disturbing. Obviously a 16 year old is more developed then a 10 year old but a 16 year old isn’t a 21 year old either. Maybe these are arbitrary numbers and maybe they aren’t.

 

Some people referenced what use to happen back in the day. And yes, young girls use to be married off quite early in their lives. But this has nothing to do with biology so much as it has to do with the social and economic times of the day. Daughters were burdens. They were another mouth to feed. They didn’t carry on the business or do the farm work or carry on the family name. Societies where also largely ruled by how men wanted to rule them. Men held the power, women were often at a disadvantage yes? Ultimately power corrupts ultimately. I think these are also heavy factors in why things where back in the day when young girls were being sold off to marriage.

 

Times are so much better for women now who are given a chance to accomplish things in society. People seem to be saying “remember the good old days when 15 year olds would marry 50 year old men. It was all so natural!”. But it wasn’t. 15 year old are not at their biological *peek* (I will explain why below) and 50 year old men are not at their biological peek either (obviously.) Now 50 year old men might have the money and if that is the case for marrying younger women, that has nothing to do with what is natural and has everything to do with the way humans unnaturally set up a system that would best benefit themselves. So if we are going to talk about biology, then lets talk about biology. And lets talk about why men that were not at their biological peek where getting the chance to have babies with girls that barely started puberty, who are also not at their biological peek. It wasn’t because human beings do everything by “biology”. Anyone that believes that because that’s how things where done back in the day, that that was the right thing to do, and the natural one, forgets about a lot of American history of oppression. The American Indians, African Americans, women...the list goes on.

 

I do find something lacking in grown men and women that find themselves attracted to young girls or boys that go further then just a non-sexual observation of their human attractiveness. I don’t think seeing the attractiveness of a 16 year old is pedophila. But I don’t think it’s the sign of a fully mature and sexually healthy adult either. Just like a 16 year old is in-between those years of childhood and full maturity, so is someone’s attraction to someone that age.

 

I do think there are biological reasons why men and women will ostracize those that focus on young boys or girls ages sexually. Which is tied to jealously, naturally (duh), but it’s not the only story or even the full story. All of us want to remain in the biological race for as long as possible. We are all sexual human beings and that is most likely to continue well into old age, even after women go into menopause. Sex is a beautiful part of life and no one wants to believe they are not worthy of having sex with anymore.

 

When men focus on young women, I think it can make women feel like they can’t win and that men don’t believe they are very valuable people or even sexual people after a certain age. Ultimately, men want to win with women and women want to win with men. But it’s very hard to win with a gender that will be more focused on 15 year old girls then a woman as full embodied and developing sexual human who is seen as exciting as she goes through the biological stages of life, just as he will. Life is meant to be in stages. It is not meant for us all to sit outside the school gates, peering into the class windows always wishing for something that could never exist to begin with - agelessness.

 

Guys, yes maybe sometimes women do feel threatened by your attraction to younger women (I am not talking about teenagers in this case because I don’t think that’s about jealous so much as it is about protecting younger girls and remembering what it was like to be a younger girl). But I am sure with some grace and compassion in your heart, you can understand why it’s sometimes difficult for women who have to contend with images of young and beautiful women all the time and thus, being inadvertly told that they matter less as a sexual woman, as a beautiful woman, then something newer and shiner.

 

I don’t think women want to be lied to either. I think women just want men who truly, madly, deeply respect and value them as completely human beings and want to be with them for the long haul. Not just at the times a man believes he may get the best benefit from her. I think women want men who find her wonderfully feminine and beautiful, more so then a young teenager because as we go through life, we want things to get better for all of us, not worse. Women want to win WITH you. They don’t want to be the losers anymore than you do.

 

Now, going back to biology, women actually peek in their 20s when they are the most fertile. It is infact, not their teen years that they are the most fertile. The beginning of a woman’s/girl’s ability to have babies (puberty) and the ending of her ability to have babies (menopause) are times when they are certainly still fertile but it is not when they are *most* fertile. So I do think a focus on youth in women when you are talking about teenagers is not just about biology or society trying to shame those that are attracted to teenagers.

 

I do think our culture has an obsession with youth which is used to cover up our fear of death. I do think that we have been socialized to give men more respect for their age than women. Not because this is simply the natural way of things but because we still operate on a society that a long history in white, anglosaxon rule. I actually think more women would feel comfortable for men’s attraction to different things if women believed that men weren’t going to take advantage of them or other women for it. But lets be honest, alot of men don’t always make the best choices and sometimes it does seem like men enjoy shoving it into women’s faces about how much less they matter sexually than men. Women are under the rule that they have to be young and beautiful to matter in the world. Men don’t get that same stigma exactly. So in an attempt to control something that makes women feel like they are going to be used and discarded for, they sometimes impose negative things on men.

 

The key is that both sides be more caring and respectful of each other and try to see through the lies society told us and knowing everything about biology instead of little bits and pieces we’ve heard in the pop world.

 

I will also say that I once read in a science journal of a biological imperitive that caused men after a certain age to see younger girls as not viable sexual choices because of wanting to prevent incestism. Which causes a host of health issues for potential offspring.

 

We got a lot of biological imperitives at work here. And we got a lot of social messages too.

 

At the end of day, humans want to enjoy their sexuality and want to be seen as sexy throughout a good healthy large chunk of their lives.

 

I will admit that this thread made me feel depressed and a bit beat down as a woman. This thread makes me think that women need to remain teenagers for men to care about us, love us, wanting to protect us and see us as beautiful creatures. But I am sure men can understand why it's daunting to think of your man looking at 18 year olds because of the way men have talked about owmen in this very thread about younger woman vs older women. Younger women are seen as the prize. Other women aren't. What would you like women to do? Ship ourselves off to an island at a certain age so you don't have to face the reality of our horrible aging that makes us less important in your eyes?

[Disenchantedly Yours]

By the way, they also use to pratice incest back in the day too. They didn't pratice it because that was the natural way of things.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Would a grown man date a person that is mentally retarded?

 

 

Of course you're right... the mentally retarded should have to wear a sign assuring that they are ineligible for dating, except by the prepubescent members of our society you seem, by omission, to deem suitable for their companionship.

 

 

I mean, c'mon, who dates the mentally retarded anyway? In fact, how is it that they're still in the gene pool?

 

 

By the way, I think somebody in Human Resources at your company wants to see you.