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Lack of success with women isn't entirely the man's fault

irc333

By irc333
in General Relationship Discussion

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PJKino Established Member

PJKino

Posted
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Do you not see short men married all over?

 

The problem is short men cant create attraction right away so you have to create a connection and find your soulmate you dont have the luxury to shop around so to speak.

 

You also have to temper your expectations shoot for the not so hot women usually short men who struggle go for good looking women who have better options like good looking tall men

 

So if a guy is 5'8 in great shape and cute face he still has to go for non good looking women? lol and they say men are shallow wow..

 

Id rather be alone the rest of my life then with a girl i have no attraction to but have to settle for because women are obsessed with height..and it looks like that will be the case..

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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Id rather be alone the rest of my life then with a girl i have no attraction to but have to settle for because women are obsessed with height..and it looks like that will be the case..

 

So it's ok for you to be shallow about women's looks but it's not ok for women to be shallow about height?

PJKino Established Member

PJKino

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So it's ok for you to be shallow about women's looks but it's not ok for women to be shallow about height?

 

Im not that picky i just need some attraction but if i was attracted to a women i wouldnt dismiss her because she had small breasts or another flaw which is close to a women dismssing a man only because hes an inch or so under average

GorillaTheater Established Member

GorillaTheater

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So it's ok for you to be shallow about women's looks but it's not ok for women to be shallow about height?

 

In a nutshell.

 

My question is how "fault" in terms of dating preferences even enters into the picture.

  • Like 2
Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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Im not that picky i just need some attraction but if i was attracted to a women i wouldnt dismiss her because she had small breasts or another flaw which is close to a women dismssing a man only because hes an inch or so under average

 

I think calling small breasts a flaw is pretty shallow

 

So why is your attraction superior to a woman's? You can't quantify what is attractive to you but it has something to do with a woman's appearance. How is that less shallow than what a woman prefers (in this case it's height)?

  • Like 1
PJKino Established Member

PJKino

Posted
Posted (edited)
I think calling small breasts a flaw is pretty shallow

 

So why is your attraction superior to a woman's? You can't quantify what is attractive to you but it has something to do with a woman's appearance. How is that less shallow than what a woman prefers (in this case it's height)?

 

I dont consider it a "flaw" at all for the record im just using it in context of traits that can be seen as less desirable to the opposite sex is my point with height or small breasts..

 

But most men are not picky about breast size the way women are with height..Theyre really is nothing to compare mens height with in terms of a close universal preference by a gender..

 

People point to womens weight but lets not act like women are lining up around the corner to date fat men either..

Edited by PJKino
Emilia Established Member

Emilia

Posted
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Women consider short a flaw so why is it wrong to consider small breasts a flaw in terms of attraction?

 

Because you can't dismiss women as shallow if you are shallow yourself. It's called hypocrisy. Although, as Gorilla Theatre (note spelling GT ;)) said, physical preferences shouldn't even be critisised really because everyone has them.

 

and i dont consider it a "flaw" at all for the record im just using it in context of traits that can be seen as less desirable to the opposite sex is my point with height or small breasts..

 

But most men are not picky about breast size the way women are with height..Theyre really is nothing to compare mens height with in terms of a close universal preference by a gender..

Are you qualified to say what 'most men' like? What makes you think you are qualified to say what 'most men' or 'most women' like? Everyone has physical and personality preferences in the opposite sex.

 

People point to womens weight but lets not act like women are lining up around the corner to date fat men either..

 

I don't know, I see a lot of overweight couples. I'd say from what I see usually in the West is that overweight people tend to be in relationship with each other. It would make sense since weight usually relates to lifestyle.

CryForNoOne Established Member

CryForNoOne

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So if a guy is 5'8 in great shape and cute face he still has to go for non good looking women? lol and they say men are shallow wow..

 

Id rather be alone the rest of my life then with a girl i have no attraction to but have to settle for because women are obsessed with height..and it looks like that will be the case..

 

So of course you've heard of the Napoleon complex. It's got a negative connotation but it's a positive trait in moderation. Better that then be a pushover right? I just recently read in another thread here that all good things are not only worth fighting for, but they NEVER fall right into your lap, and you MUST fight for them.

 

I'm Asian and recently messaged a girl online who prefers white guys. I called her out on it in a playful way - a neg. Long story short, we had an amazing first date, and I'm seeing her again tonight. She told me what she liked about me most was how I instantly disarmed her both online and F2F, particularly how I blew past the white guy thing. She said I really surprised her and she liked it alot. All good things worth fighting for.

 

PS That said, my tactic above probably fails 9/10, but I've learned rejection can be a good thing. It pre-screens those you would have wasted $50 on dinner for...

  • Like 1
reaver Established Member

reaver

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Since most men are very shallow in terms of a woman's visual attraction, I dont care that women are shallow about height. Sorry men, but you cannot be super shallow about looks and then get pissed if women are similar.

 

I know lots of pretty girls with shorter guys (5'7 or under). They usually date short girls or have an awesome personality. Be thankful your personality can make up for your height because no amount of personality will ever convince a man to give an unattractive woman a thought.

 

Very funny all the men bitching about women dissing short men when they list flaws in women as well.

  • Like 1
Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

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It's sad that most women have become so shallow that being an inch under average male height is some huge handicap that you have to be perfect in every other way to make up for and get a date.

 

That's right, son. We are not woman … we are devo.

  • Like 2
Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

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People point to womens weight but lets not act like women are lining up around the corner to date fat men either..

 

But if you were six feet tall, women would be lining up around the corner to date you, right?

 

It's so awesomely convenient to have something outside of your control to blame everything upon … that way, you never, ever need to take a look at what you need to and actually can work towards improving in yourself.

  • Like 1
PJKino Established Member

PJKino

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But if you were six feet tall, women would be lining up around the corner to date you, right?

 

 

Not lining up around the corner but id have options i believe yes..

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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Not lining up around the corner but id have options i believe yes..

 

but you are 5'8''. That's not even short. It's not tall but it borders on average

  • Like 2
Lonely Ronin Established Member

Lonely Ronin

Posted
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But if you were six feet tall, women would be lining up around the corner to date you, right?

 

lol, I'm 6 feet tall and I can unequivocally say I don't see any line waiting to date me.

PJKino Established Member

PJKino

Posted
Posted
Since most men are very shallow in terms of a woman's visual attraction, I dont care that women are shallow about height. Sorry men, but you cannot be super shallow about looks and then get pissed if women are similar.

 

I know lots of pretty girls with shorter guys (5'7 or under). They usually date short girls or have an awesome personality. Be thankful your personality can make up for your height because no amount of personality will ever convince a man to give an unattractive woman a thought.

 

Very funny all the men bitching about women dissing short men when they list flaws in women as well.

 

Where is this idea that unattractive women dont marry or date? they get married just as much as unattractive men and usually to each other...

 

Women always try to convince us that were more shallow but there is no evidence at all unless you think those sitcoms with the obese husband and hot wife are all real..

reaver Established Member

reaver

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3 of my 5 past boyfriends were 5'8....(I'm 5'5).

 

Its your attitude

  • Like 1
PJKino Established Member

PJKino

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but you are 5'8''. That's not even short. It's not tall but it borders on average

 

Well probably 5 7 and a half to be exact..

carhill Established Member

carhill

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WEll, we found each other, right? We're going out soon. ;-) So, considering the circumstances....it makes since for us to date each other ;-)

So, should this date go well and lead to another, who bears responsibility for that success?

  • Like 1
reaver Established Member

reaver

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Men are most certainly picky about breast size...believe me I lived with 5 men for 3 years and you should of heard the things they said about women they screwed behind their back. Some guys cant get alot of girls though so if a smallbreasted one comes their way theyll take what they can get. I have also heard many men degrade women for their "flat butt"

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

Posted
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but you are 5'8''. That's not even short. It's not tall but it borders on average

 

My husband's 5'8" (or maybe 7). But I probably wouldn't have married him if he hadn't kept me drugged and confined in a box under the bed until I swore I'd do anything just to be granted the freedom to roam in the back yard during the light of day …

  • Like 4
Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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Well probably 5 7 and a half to be exact..

 

I think the point still stands

reaver Established Member

reaver

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Some men are very shallow. Some women are very shallow. Some men care about looks but only a bit, same for women.

 

Whats what the woman hating?

 

There are all types of people in this world. There is a type that is in BOTH genders.

CryForNoOne Established Member

CryForNoOne

Posted
Posted
Since most men are very shallow in terms of a woman's visual attraction, I dont care that women are shallow about height. Sorry men, but you cannot be super shallow about looks and then get pissed if women are similar.

 

I know lots of pretty girls with shorter guys (5'7 or under). They usually date short girls or have an awesome personality. Be thankful your personality can make up for your height because no amount of personality will ever convince a man to give an unattractive woman a thought.

 

Very funny all the men bitching about women dissing short men when they list flaws in women as well.

 

I'm going to cross gender lines and totally agree with you. Plenty of guys would date even possibly marry an amazingly hot stripper who is a low self esteem train wreck. They'd rationalize how she is a diamond in the rough and they are saving her. Meanwhile, a woman could have an amazing personality and be a world class anything, but she'll struggle to get a date if she is homely.

 

Women on the other hand seem to be able to overlook physical flaws, like height, baldness etc... if a guy is exceptional at something. Just look at fat actors and actresses, I'm sure someone will find an exception but it's the fat actors not actresses that are the ones with the hot spouses...

TouchedByViolet Established Member

TouchedByViolet

Posted
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The idea that a man can try hard and still fail with women romantically is a foreign concept to many on this website and in real life.

 

Its very similar to the "your not wealthy because you don't try hard enough" argument

 

This is the greatest truth.

 

It's not about blaming a gender, people's preferences, or any group of beliefs. It's just that some people rarely ever experience success. Life is an unfair and unpredictable experience.

 

Think of gambling in a casino playing roulette. You can spend all night gambling and win win win. Seems like whatever you do you win. Then the next day you may just lose lose lose. Life is a capricious and fickle mistress. Some people just lose because of a combination of looks, personality, and luck. Nobody to blame... unless you blame the universe or something. It's just nature's ****ed up little way of working.

 

Also, it is so stupid when other's tell you how to feel. If you haven't walked the path you don't understand the feelings on a deep and moving level.

reaver Established Member

reaver

Posted
Posted
I'm going to cross gender lines and totally agree with you. Plenty of guys would date even possibly marry an amazingly hot stripper who is a low self esteem train wreck. They'd rationalize how she is a diamond in the rough and they are saving her. Meanwhile, a woman could have an amazing personality and be a world class anything, but she'll struggle to get a date if she is homely.

 

Women on the other hand seem to be able to overlook physical flaws, like height, baldness etc... if a guy is exceptional at something. Just look at fat actors and actresses, I'm sure someone will find an exception but it's the fat actors not actresses that are the ones with the hot spouses...

 

In terms of VISUAL attraction, I def. think men are the more shallow sex. I know a few women who have high standards physically, but I know far more men with high physical standards than women. I am not into people who are super into beauty and looks, so its a big factor in why I find dating to be hard. Because most men weight beauty too much for me in terms of choosing who to date.

 

However, I think in terms of shallowness genders are equal. Women are more shallow about income.

 

I dont need to marry a rich guy but Ill admit I wont marry someone who has no money leftover after paying bills, unless they are on track to get a better paying job. Sorry, but I want my kids to have things and not grow up in poverty the way I did.

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