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Lack of success with women isn't entirely the man's fault

irc333

By irc333
in General Relationship Discussion

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irc333 Established Member

irc333

Posted
Posted

I was talking to a single lady the other night, and I was telling her how I had never been married and she found that almost unbelievable. She thought I was one of those "confirmed" bachelors...which I'm thinking a man that never wants to marry and always wants to sleep around with MANY women.

 

I told her situations where I would ask women out and they'd give me their number, but when I'd call them they'd blow me off, find excuses, or "something would come up". Or they'd just never return my phone calls. Or how I'm usualy friendzoned.

 

Then she asked me how tall I was...I said "5'8". She said "That's the reason, we live in such a superficial city or state rather where people are so obsessessed with looks, and women, with height mostly and the men are always wanting women with big boobs or something....that they won't touch shorter men.

 

She said, lately, she attributed to her lack of dating due to so many men trying to impress her with his new "ride" ie - Harley Davidson, car etc. She's rejected men due to their superficiality.

 

Some have said on here the "common denominator is you"....but since it isn't a behavioral issue, but more geography...it's good to know that I'm not really doing anything wrong, it's just that we live ina superficial area.

 

Some here suggested relocating, but what? Give up a job just to relocate...that's not realistic, right?

 

Anyhow, so its no doubt that some men are getting rejected based on other people's unrealistic expectations in a mate mostly.

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

Posted
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Anyhow, so its no doubt that some men are getting rejected based on other people's unrealistic expectations in a mate mostly.

 

She blames other people the same way as you do. The two of you found each other and blamed other people together. I fail to see how that helped either of you to find a partner.

  • Like 15
soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

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irc333,

 

What part of the country do you live?

 

Of course it has much to do with other's expectations. It's combination of that and YOU and your personality, confidence level.

 

You're 5'6, I'm 5'6 and I've had my share of dates. There are many intangibles that also come into play. No one has a fool-proof formula to getting a date w/o considering a mountain factors that one can or cannot control.

 

That's life...

  • Like 1
soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

Posted
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She blames other people the same way as you do. The two of you found each other and blamed other people together. I fail to see how that helped either of you to find a partner.

 

Be nice, Emilia. :)

Radu Established Member

Radu

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Let me guess, she has what are generally considered not-so-big boobs ?

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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Be nice, Emilia. :)

 

You want to keep reading the OP's threads ;)

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irc333 Established Member

irc333

Posted
  • Author
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She blames other people the same way as you do. The two of you found each other and blamed other people together. I fail to see how that helped either of you to find a partner.

 

WEll, we found each other, right? We're going out soon. ;-) So, considering the circumstances....it makes since for us to date each other ;-)

  • Like 3
Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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WEll, we found each other, right? We're going out soon. ;-) So, considering the circumstances....it makes since for us to date each other ;-)

 

If that works out for you, that's great. I'd say though that it's far from ideal to hang out with people who don't encourage you to better yourself but are inclined to blame others instead.

  • Like 2
soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

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If that works out for you, that's great. I'd say though that it's far from ideal to hang out with people who don't encourage you to better yourself but are inclined to blame others instead.

 

 

Well, at least they'll have something in common to talk about. Just hope it doesn't lead to one another realizing that the other doesn't meet their expectations. ;)

 

All seriousness, I hope the conversation is positive and productive. Have fun, OP!

january2011 Established Member

january2011

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There's a saying, "misery loves company."

 

irc333 - you can commiserate with your lady friend together. Since it appears that your dating experiences are a passionate interest for both of you, perhaps it might spark something and you discover that you have other experiences and values in common.

 

Good luck!

  • Like 1
TigerCub Established Member

TigerCub

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I see your threads and how you always pose questions based on what people tell you - but this woman, you took her word for gospel just because she told you something you wanted to hear.

 

"oh it's not you, it's just that you're 5'8 " So you automatically believe THAT?

 

Yes there are superficial people out there

Yes short guys have it tougher than tall guys

But height isn't the only reason that stops a guy from getting a date.

Just like lil boobies are not the only reason that that woman is still single.

 

Hope you have a fun date with her and I look forward to the update :)

  • Like 1
El Brujo Established Member

El Brujo

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Anyhow, so its no doubt that some men are getting rejected based on other people's unrealistic expectations in a mate mostly.

 

Pretty lie, ugly truth. :rolleyes:

ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

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It is not surprising that I'm considered as unattractive in the eyes of the sheer majority of women when it comes to their physical attraction expectations.

 

This is why I'm not so quick to chase any woman. Even if I do, I want to make sure that I'm up to par, at least in the dress code.

 

But then again, I don't even know the basics of fashion so how can I attract any female that knows even a little bit about the world when just that little makes her better than me?

 

Might as well just accept defeat.

CryForNoOne Established Member

CryForNoOne

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Sorry but this whole thread is BS. You can blame geography if you live in rural Kansas but when you say "superficial" and "city", I know you don't live in the sticks. There are plenty of "real" and "superficial" people in every geographical region. Yes places like LA, South Beach, and Vegas are more "fake" and places like SF or Portland may be more "real" but those are regional variations. Not even close to everyone is like that. You're never going to create a positive healthy relationship until you stop blaming everyone else...

  • Like 4
PJKino Established Member

PJKino

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It's sad that most women have become so shallow that being an inch under average male height is some huge handicap that you have to be perfect in every other way to make up for and get a date.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Another height thread?

  • Like 1
Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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Another height thread?

 

In a manner of speaking. Another 'blame everyone and everything else for your lack of success' thread

  • Like 5
PJKino Established Member

PJKino

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Sorry but this whole thread is BS. You can blame geography if you live in rural Kansas but when you say "superficial" and "city", I know you don't live in the sticks. There are plenty of "real" and "superficial" people in every geographical region. Yes places like LA, South Beach, and Vegas are more "fake" and places like SF or Portland may be more "real" but those are regional variations. Not even close to everyone is like that. You're never going to create a positive healthy relationship until you stop blaming everyone else...

 

If they are just rejecting you for superficial reasons then it isnt your fault.

Revolver Established Member

Revolver

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The idea that a man can try hard and still fail with women romantically is a foreign concept to many on this website and in real life.

 

Its very similar to the "your not wealthy because you don't try hard enough" argument

  • Like 2
CryForNoOne Established Member

CryForNoOne

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If they are just rejecting you for superficial reasons then it isnt your fault.

 

Yes but my point is to focus on the millions of people EVERYWHERE who aren't superficial.

PJKino Established Member

PJKino

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Yes but my point is to focus on the millions of people EVERYWHERE who aren't superficial.

 

But people dont have acess to all the non superficial people everywhere just in their circle or community

 

So you take into consideration the few percent of women around you who dont care about height all that guarantees is that you past the first test they still have to be attracted to you fcially body tpye personality wise etc which lowers the pool even more.

reaver Established Member

reaver

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I reject men due to their superficiality all the time. Im not interested in being with a man who flaunts his wealth and is overly focused on beauty. Doesnt match my values.

CryForNoOne Established Member

CryForNoOne

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But people dont have acess to all the non superficial people everywhere just in their circle or community

 

So you take into consideration the few percent of women around you who dont care about height all that guarantees is that you past the first test they still have to be attracted to you fcially body tpye personality wise etc which lowers the pool even more.

 

Sounds like you're social circle is filled with superficial people. Maybe you should reflect on that...

  • Like 1
HopelessRomantic76 Established Member

HopelessRomantic76

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Do you not see short men married all over?

 

The problem is short men cant create attraction right away so you have to create a connection and find your soulmate you dont have the luxury to shop around so to speak.

 

You also have to temper your expectations shoot for the not so hot women usually short men who struggle go for good looking women who have better options like good looking tall men

  • Like 1
PJKino Established Member

PJKino

Posted
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Sounds like you're social circle is filled with superficial people. Maybe you should reflect on that...

 

I dont have any single women in my circle anymore all my friends are married anyway im just saying in any group it wil be a very small number who will date short men and then as i said that doesnt get you anywhere just because you passed the height barrier which is hard enough to get through...

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