Keenly Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Uhhhh no I dont like that either. This guy isnt waiting until she turns 18 most likely. Whatever. Hope being a sex offender is worth it. You are now just making things up. Where did I become a sex offender exactly? Oh, I forgot, you are judgmental, and your way is the only way. Wow you must be such a great person, I bet you have no faults or flaws do you. You are assuming that no man could ever wait for a woman to turn 18, which is showing your lack of respect for men in general. And to allude that you don't like (in my example) 2 grown adults and the decisions they make, therefore they shouldn't be allowed to do it? This is america, We are a republic. You don't have the ability to tell another person how they should live, regardless of whether or not you like it. As long as there is no sexual contact, the parents don't forbid it, and the romance is consensual, there is nothing you can do but stamp your feet and throw a tantrum.
reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 You are now just making things up. Where did I become a sex offender exactly? Oh, I forgot, you are judgmental, and your way is the only way. Wow you must be such a great person, I bet you have no faults or flaws do you. You are assuming that no man could ever wait for a woman to turn 18, which is showing your lack of respect for men in general. And to allude that you don't like (in my example) 2 grown adults and the decisions they make, therefore they shouldn't be allowed to do it? This is america, We are a republic. You don't have the ability to tell another person how they should live, regardless of whether or not you like it. As long as there is no sexual contact, the parents don't forbid it, and the romance is consensual, there is nothing you can do but stamp your feet and throw a tantrum. Perhaps if you have such strong feelings, maybe you shouldnt come to a site where people voice opinions? Im not telling someone to do something at all, but yeah a 23 year old who chases after a 17 year old definitely values immaturity and being more able to control somebody due to their inexperience. Just because I said that doesnt mean Im saying dont do this. Im not throwing a tantrum. Im finding your extreme hate to me thinking ****ing a 17yearold that could lead to an extreme detrimental stigma and a lower quality of life due to an extremely limiting label amusing. Perhaps you should get to know a sex offender and see how that title drastically affects their life and their families' lives and the judgment and hate they will receive and come back and tell me if its worth it. The sex offender comment was not directed at you. It was towards the OP. Just because youll wait, doesnt mean this guy will. He doesnt seem concerned in the slightest shes a minor. Go take some anger management classes. This comment is not being said because you disagree with me btw. Its because of the extreme hate you just showed. Funny, "my way is the only way" When did I ever say that? OH, I just voiced something that doesnt fit with your values. Perhaps you shouldnt come to an advice site then.
Keenly Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 The dudes not even the U.S. how will he become a sex offender? Your right, your opinion IS different, but you condescendingly insult people who disagree with you, you call them names , you call them sex offenders, you think they are not mentally sound, you think they are immature, and what are you basing this on? Mutual attraction by two young people? The point is, you can think whatever you'd like to think, but it goes both ways. The difference? You thinking there is something wrong with me because I don't agree with you. And if you had been paying attention to anything in this thread... Its not your difference of opinion that bothers me, its the way you handle it.
PogoStick Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 You missed the part where he isn't bound by your country's laws. 1
Keenly Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 You missed the part where he isn't bound by your country's laws. They only read what they want to read.
reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 The dudes not even the U.S. how will he become a sex offender? Your right, your opinion IS different, but you condescendingly insult people who disagree with you, you call them names , you call them sex offenders, you think they are not mentally sound, you think they are immature, and what are you basing this on? Mutual attraction by two young people? The point is, you can think whatever you'd like to think, but it goes both ways. The difference? You thinking there is something wrong with me because I don't agree with you. I did not realize he wasnt in the US so thats my fault. In the US, when one person is above the age of 18 and the other isnt and they have sex, if charges are pressed against the person over 18 in most states that is a crime that gets a sex offender label. My brother is a criminal defense lawyer, I know far more about this than I want to know. Do I think someone deserves such a label for doing this? Hell no. Laws arent always fair, thats why there are bills trying to be passed for sex offender reform laws because the US went nuts with labeling way too many people as a sex offender, but it is what it is. The guy I know who is about to go on trial does not deserve such a bad label. So, calling someone who does this in the USA (I thought he was American)...can be labeled as a sex offender. Thats not name calling so calm down....its a fact they can be charged and convicted if they sleep with a minor. Did you know sexting with a minor with pictures, in most USA states, can be seen as child pornography and you can get charged with it? Ridiculous, but it happens. Oh my, you really cannot handle any criticism whatsoever. You are just as nasty as me, hypocrite. Keep talking about how hateful I am when you are spewing it at me. Yes, I think 23 year olds who seek 17year olds like immaturity and like to control more. Oh well. Get over it. I guess I am an awful awful person. Im sure youve said things like this that others dont agree with. Get over it. If you cannot handle it, dont come to a site where people voice their opinions. Hey Keenly, why dont you calm the **** down? I didnt see the part about him not being in the USA. I didnt intentionally skip over it. I
reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 The dudes not even the U.S. how will he become a sex offender? Your right, your opinion IS different, but you condescendingly insult people who disagree with you, you call them names , you call them sex offenders, you think they are not mentally sound, you think they are immature, and what are you basing this on? Mutual attraction by two young people? The point is, you can think whatever you'd like to think, but it goes both ways. The difference? You thinking there is something wrong with me because I don't agree with you. And if you had been paying attention to anything in this thread... Its not your difference of opinion that bothers me, its the way you handle it.[/QUOTE] Pot caling the kettle black.
reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 They only read what they want to read. Nope, but people arent allowed to make mistakes apparently. I already apologized.
Keenly Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 I did not realize he wasnt in the US so thats my fault. In the US, when one person is above the age of 18 and the other isnt and they have sex, if charges are pressed against the person over 18 in most states that is a crime that gets a sex offender label. My brother is a criminal defense lawyer, I know far more about this than I want to know. Do I think someone deserves such a label for doing this? Hell no. Laws arent always fair, thats why there are bills trying to be passed for sex offender reform laws because the US went nuts with labeling way too many people as a sex offender, but it is what it is. The guy I know who is about to go on trial does not deserve such a bad label. So, calling someone who does this in the USA (I thought he was American)...can be labeled as a sex offender. Thats not name calling so calm down....its a fact they can be charged and convicted if they sleep with a minor. Did you know sexting with a minor with pictures, in most USA states, can be seen as child pornography and you can get charged with it? Ridiculous, but it happens. Oh my, you really cannot handle any criticism whatsoever. You are just as nasty as me, hypocrite. Keep talking about how hateful I am when you are spewing it at me. Yes, I think 23 year olds who seek 17year olds like immaturity and like to control more. Oh well. Get over it. I guess I am an awful awful person. Im sure youve said things like this that others dont agree with. Get over it. If you cannot handle it, dont come to a site where people voice their opinions. Hey Keenly, why dont you calm the **** down? I didnt see the part about him not being in the USA. I didnt intentionally skip over it. Stop acting like a ****ing *******. I'm very calm. I came to the OPs defense, because everyone is SO quick to judge everyone else, when none of us are perfect. To tell me I "cannot handle it" What? I'm doing it? What hate am I spewing? I'm telling you that behavior control is not okay. The bolded text is the entire reason I started arguing with you. Its cool that you don't like it, I understand. I dont like Nutella, which could get me stabbed in some areas. But I would never say that eating nutella is wrong, and your sick if you eat it, and you must be really immature, and you probably couldn't handle peanut butter. Do you hear how ridiculous that sounds? If no one is being harmed, there is concent, and there is absence of sexual contact, why would you want to break them up. 1
reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 (edited) I'm very calm. I came to the OPs defense, because everyone is SO quick to judge everyone else, when none of us are perfect. To tell me I "cannot handle it" What? I'm doing it? What hate am I spewing? I'm telling you that behavior control is not okay. The bolded text is the entire reason I started arguing with you. Its cool that you don't like it, I understand. I dont like Nutella, which could get me stabbed in some areas. But I would never say that eating nutella is wrong, and your sick if you eat it, and you must be really immature, and you probably couldn't handle peanut butter. Do you hear how ridiculous that sounds? If no one is being harmed, there is concent, and there is absence of sexual contact, why would you want to break them up. It sounds ridiculous because it makes no sense. You do realize I genuinely thought this guy lived in the US, and there was a chance he could get a criminal record from his behavior? Yeah, guess I am a bad person but when someone is about to do something that can ruin their life, yeah I will say something. I think in extreme instances like this, behavior control or suggesting it is not a BAD thing. Most 23 year olds can find women their own age they like. Why go for a 17year old? I find MOST (and I put this in caps, because its not good to generalize) of these people like girls that are more immature and like they dont have as much experience and its easier for them to get them to do what they want. I think the same thing about a 40yearold guy going for a 25yearold. I dont like it- but as long as they are not hurting anybody, its consentual, and its not breaking any laws they are free to do as they want. Where did I say I would want them to break up? I dont see the logical connection there. Just because I dont approve of something, doesnt mean they should break up. I refuse to sleep with a guy early on before I know him. I know many guys dont approve of this. Men have hated on me on this site for it and say Im ridiculous, but just because the men responding dont hold the same sex views as me and the guy I date, this isnt them encouraging the guy I date to dump me because his views are different from theirs...that doesnt make sense. They are just voicing their opinion of what they think of the situation. Guess what? I get called things much worse than immature A 23 year old can go for a 17 year old. Its their life. Im not saying DONT do it. But to me, yeah...guys go for younger girls like that for a reason if they have access to women their own age. Edited April 11, 2013 by reaver
RogerWallace111 Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 I don't care about the judgements. I am not from US and we have different laws. I like her. Today we talked and everything is ok. I am definitely going to see her again. Thread closed Coolest guy to have graced these forums ? 1
RogerWallace111 Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 (edited) I do agree that it tends to say something about the older member of the couples' "maturity" in these situations. Whether it's 40 & 25 or 25 & 17. In fact those two gaps probably equate well in terms of general intelligence, awareness, etc. But I'm 24, consider myself at least very emotionally intelligent and always killed it academically with any effort, and if I somehow ended up around a 17 year old girl who was tons of fun to be around, I'd hang with her. Though I'd tell her that the age gap made it a near non-possibility to have any longterm potential.Of course wouldn't f*ck till 18 due to law factor, and would have to be VERY up front about my lack of long-term intentions. I just wouldn't want to hurt the girl or let her develop any attachment. Biologically I take no issue. Heck, if the world reverted to more primitive, feudal times and sh*t was really on the line, I don't imagine I'd have any problem being the animal I am and impregnating a 15, 14, or even 13 year old. Especially if my mind were somehow wiped of the societal norms that have become engrained in there. Edited April 11, 2013 by RogerWallace111
reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 I do agree that it tends to say something about the older member of the couples' "maturity" in these situations. Whether it's 40 & 25 or 25 & 17. In fact those two gaps probably equate well in terms of general intelligence, awareness, etc. I'm 24, and if I somehow ended up around a 17 year old girl who was tons of fun to be around, I'd hang with her. Though I'd tell her that the age gap made it a near non-possibility to have any longterm potential.Of course wouldn't f*ck till 18 due to law factor, and would have to be VERY up front about my lack of long-term intentions. I just wouldn't want to hurt the girl or let her develop any attachment. Biologically I take no issue. Heck, if the world reverted to more primitive, feudal times and sh*t was really on the line, I don't imagine I'd have any problem being the animal I am and impregnating a 15, 14, or even 13 year old. Especially if my mind were somehow wiped of the societal norms that have become engrained in there. I agree. But others wont be happy to hear that. I understand. Most people thought he was breaking the law...it was a misunderstanding. Watching a guy commit a sex crime is super painful for me. Its like a slow motion train wreck. I wouldnt wish a sex offender label's consequences on anybody, even the womanhaters on this site
mesmerized Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 How is he perverted exactly? there is not really anything you can do about accepting / rejecting a picture message. So how is it different when a 40 year old man and a 30 year old woman date? Is he perverted? People are way too judgmental. Dude, this is like saying how is it different when a 20 year old dates a 10 year old? Do you REALLY not see the difference between 25/17 and 40/30?? People here really need to grow up. 2
mesmerized Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 I do agree that it tends to say something about the older member of the couples' "maturity" in these situations. Whether it's 40 & 25 or 25 & 17. In fact those two gaps probably equate well in terms of general intelligence, awareness, etc. But I'm 24, consider myself at least very emotionally intelligent and always killed it academically with any effort, and if I somehow ended up around a 17 year old girl who was tons of fun to be around, I'd hang with her. Though I'd tell her that the age gap made it a near non-possibility to have any longterm potential.Of course wouldn't f*ck till 18 due to law factor, and would have to be VERY up front about my lack of long-term intentions. I just wouldn't want to hurt the girl or let her develop any attachment. Biologically I take no issue. Heck, if the world reverted to more primitive, feudal times and sh*t was really on the line, I don't imagine I'd have any problem being the animal I am and impregnating a 15, 14, or even 13 year old. Especially if my mind were somehow wiped of the societal norms that have become engrained in there. That is EXACTLY where you are wrong. Do you think all teenagers understand when you are "upfront"? Heck even some adult women don't get it and try to get you to like them by giving you what you want. Young girls are naive, don't know how to think and are highly run by emotions and hormones. I'm sure this is not what your dicks what to hear but keep it in your pants and don't mess with something you don't know how it's gonna end. This reminds me of when I was 16 and a 25 year old I knew tried to make a pass on me. I was so young and immature and dealt with the whole thing so badly. We didn't really do anything except him "caressing" me but in my head I was so confused and developed feelings for him. Of course he went back for his ex girl friend that was his own age. Just a few days ago I was saying in a thread I never felt used before, but now thank to you guys it reminded me how I actually did feel used then. Honestly, how quick men are to act based on their lust and not care or think about anything else but "law" is pure disgusting. and now here they are high fiving each other for doing someone under 18! And the same men expect high self control from women. ugh. 2
Keenly Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 That is EXACTLY where you are wrong. Do you think all teenagers understand when you are "upfront"? Heck even some adult women don't get it and try to get you to like them by giving you what you want. Young girls are naive, don't know how to think and are highly run by emotions and hormones. I'm sure this is not what your dicks what to hear but keep it in your pants and don't mess with something you don't know how it's gonna end. This reminds me of when I was 16 and a 25 year old I knew tried to make a pass on me. I was so young and immature and dealt with the whole thing so badly. We didn't really do anything except him "caressing" me but in my head I was so confused and developed feelings for him. Of course he went back for his ex girl friend that was his own age. Just a few days ago I was saying in a thread I never felt used before, but now thank to you guys it reminded me how I actually did feel used then. Honestly, how quick men are to act based on their lust and not care or think about anything else but "law" is pure disgusting. and now here they are high fiving each other for doing someone under 18! And the same men expect high self control from women. ugh. That's quite a diatribe there.
mesmerized Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 That's quite a diatribe there. And you don't really know how to respond to it. You know I'm right even though your penis opposes it.
Keenly Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 And you don't really know how to respond to it. You know I'm right even though your penis opposes it. Why would I want to break down and respond to a bunch of man hating. Often times, we don't choose who we like, and if he happened to meet or know a 17 year old, and they got romantically involved, and they didn't have sex until she was 18, and then they fell in love and got married and stayed married for 40 years, that all wouldn't really matter would it.
mesmerized Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Why would I want to break down and respond to a bunch of man hating. Often times, we don't choose who we like, and if he happened to meet or know a 17 year old, and they got romantically involved, and they didn't have sex until she was 18, and then they fell in love and got married and stayed married for 40 years, that all wouldn't really matter would it. yeah, I guess with your maturity, a 12 year old would work too. And we all know why adult men fall for young teenage girls, personality and compatibility! On noes, in this case it was having similar phone numbers. My whole point was that you can't rely on a teenager's understanding of such arrangements, you are most certainly going to hurt her, specially if she is inexperienced. Yes you might say some adult women are the same but with a teenage girl the risk is much much higher that she just won't get it. What would you say to a 25 year old woman running after a 17 year old boy?? I believe you men don't want to hear it because that is not going to sexually benefit you, plain and simple. Not because you don't want to stand in the way of "true love". I mean, please. 3
reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 yeah, I guess with your maturity, a 12 year old would work too. And we all know why adult men fall for young teenage girls, personality and compatibility! On noes, in this case it was having similar phone numbers. My whole point was that you can't rely on a teenager's understanding of such arrangements, you are most certainly going to hurt her, specially if she is inexperienced. Yes you might say some adult women are the same but with a teenage girl the risk is much much higher that she just won't get it. What would you say to a 25 year old woman running after a 17 year old boy?? I believe you men don't want to hear it because that is not going to sexually benefit you, plain and simple. Not because you don't want to stand in the way of "true love". I mean, please. Words cannot express how much I love this post
RogerWallace111 Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 (edited) yeah, I guess with your maturity, a 12 year old would work too. And we all know why adult men fall for young teenage girls, personality and compatibility! On noes, in this case it was having similar phone numbers. My whole point was that you can't rely on a teenager's understanding of such arrangements, you are most certainly going to hurt her, specially if she is inexperienced. Yes you might say some adult women are the same but with a teenage girl the risk is much much higher that she just won't get it. What would you say to a 25 year old woman running after a 17 year old boy?? I believe you men don't want to hear it because that is not going to sexually benefit you, plain and simple. Not because you don't want to stand in the way of "true love". I mean, please. I acknowledge the point you're making, and I'm sorry if you were hurt in the past, but you can't simply project the intent of others because it's the typical, cliche sh*t you hear about. Of course many a man has taken advantage of a younger woman's naivety and excitability in order to f*ck. It's in movies, books- apparently just the idea of it really weighs on you. I understand. In the U.S. at least, 95% of the guys you see with a younger girl like this are sleazy f*ck ups (who, in fact, are often closer to the females level of maturity than one might realize). I think a lot of these sort of guys going for younger girls is due to the fact that they won't be on their case about their shortcomings the way a girl their own age might. They've yet to deal with the reality of responsibility, finances, and being an adult in general, so they won't be calling the guy out on his sh*t in those departments. But, the thing is, I don't perceive as much malicious intent on the guys end as you do. Of course, some guys will blatantly & knowingly disregard the emotional harm they could potentially do to a girl in a long run. That's f*cked. But I would imagine, in a lot of these situations, the guy just wants to hang with girls, and these are the ones he's able to get. And who's to say the guy doesn't legitimately like or love the girl, and won't end up being the one "hurt" ? I've seen plenty of threads on here where, say, a 22-24 year old male is dumped by his 19/20 year old girlfriend after a 2-3 year first love type of relationship, and is devastated about it. Usually something like: "she said she needs to experience new things, and just be single & live life. I just can't imagine going on without her, she was my whole world." Granted 8 years is a more significant gap than 3-5, but- I bring this up as evidence that not all guys who end up with significantly younger girls are in it for a "hit-it-n-quit-it" deal, and that they can easily fall in love and become genuinely attached to them. In fact, often times, being involved with a younger girl can become a ticking time bomb as she's almost inevitably, in this day and age, going to come to a point where she wants to experience single life. And very understandably so. And the more I'm thinking about it, given the guy isn't actually "manipulating" or taking advantage of the girl... who cares if he's older ?? What is actually so different, as far as the consequences/aftermath (not just the way it comes across to a third party)? At some point the blaring physical differences of age just make it creepy as f*ck, but a girl having her first love be several years older than her instead of her age... I'm struggling to think of what makes it particularly negative, given manipulation and "using" aren't the guy's MO . Sh*t maybe she'll benefit from any wisdom he can pass off from his longer time on earth. Edited April 11, 2013 by RogerWallace111
RogerWallace111 Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 And I'm just saying this from a detached, semi-devil's advocate type of perspective. I'm 24 and thought it would be kind of weird to actually date a 20 year old I hooked up with a few months ago. Though, if she didn't live an hour away, and I could casually give things a shot, I would've. I know people mature a lot in their late teens and early twenties. I barely remember myself at 17. My main point is just that, if the guy is respectful and genuine, and honestly looking at it as a potential long term thing, maybe it's worth getting past the principle of the issue and looking at it for no more than what it is (one likely more mature person dating a more immature one). It happens regrdless of age, of course.
Author rocoloco Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 When I wrote phone numbers and surnames are in common I wrote in humoristic sense. Believe it or not, I care more about the flea on the neighbours dog. I didn't want to meet a 17 year old, it just happened. The fact that shes 17 ..eh. waste of energy 1
RogerWallace111 Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 And then the question of the physical and sexual side of their relationship. I'd argue that this - along with the attraction of power - are the main draws for this guy. Why? Because 99% of 25 year old guys find 17 year olds inane. Like, ridiculously inane. It's two completely different stages in ones life; she's still a sponge to her influences and emotionally unstable (relatively speaking) and probably bound by family, friends, school, etc. He's an adult who has developed his own character and probably has a career and should be seriously thinking about the future - mortgages, settling down, promotions, savings etc. I know that when I talk to 17 or 18 year olds and they mention all the stuff that kids that age do I think yeah, it was great fun at the time but you know what, its amazingly boring for a 25 year old to sit there and hear all about it. There is honestly not that much that the OP will have in common with this girl. Besides his phone number and surname, obviously. And lastly, dating a 17 year old girl when your age of consent is 18? Risky ground my friend. Firstly, because you're risking having sex with her - regardless of what you say, temptation is a mother. Secondly, you're risking everyone thinking you're a creep, including the girls your age that you should be dating. And third, dating her until she's 18 and then having sex with her? That could be interpreted as grooming my friend. Keep dating teenagers if you like, but there is a reason society frowns on this kind of thing, and you're probably a bit touched in the head. Just to clarify, Keenly isn't actually dating a 17 year old, and the OP lives in a country where 17 is of age. Apparently 16 is the most common age of consent in the world. Anyway, I agree very much with the bolded bit above. It's why I wouldn't be likely to ever have this predicament. But, in some places, maybe like that where the OP lives, school/work/societal sh*t can result in making young people "mature" earlier. She may not be all about the lunchroom drama and Justin Bieber.
TheGuard13 Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Kind of just sounds like she's an attention whore. She likes the flirting and the attention, but doesn't want the physical relationship.
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