foxxës Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 Hi everyone, this is my first time posting here so i'll explain a little about my situation before i dive in. Basically, I've been dating and am now in a relationship with this lovely guy, a couple of years older than me. We met through friends who set us up and we went on a blind date of sorts and even though I was a bit unconvinced at first, we got on really well and had an amazing time. So within a few weeks of us dating things were going great and we decided to take things more seriously and 6 months on we're still happy, in a loving relationship etc. So recently somethings been bugging me. My boyfriend moved back to the UK from Colorado about four years ago and within that time he was still dating the same girl from the US long distance, and being me I thought, oh they must have broken up around 2010-2011. They actually were long distance for all of that time up until about 3 months before we met and she visited the uk regularly to see him. because of this it makes me wonder if he stills holds a small flame for her, and I can't help but think that they were forced to split up because of the distance and not because they stopped loving eachother. Since moving back to the UK he's told me he became a bit lonely and depressed in his house which is in the arse end of the countryside and doesnt really like to go out much and has become a home bird. So getting him to go out even to go to the shops is difficult. To put it simply, before me he just went to work, came back, ate, played on the xbox and slept. He is very secretive about his facebook and laptop, which im not too bothered about because I trust him, but the other day he was uploading photos off his ipod so he could download more songs and pretty much all of them were her, except a few cats here and there haha. But still the fact he hadnt thought of deleting them sooner made me anxious. The worst part is they both look really really happy together in them, and they look like theyre having a good time, going out, doing things. Which we rarely do, i took him out to dinner at ASK for his birthday and he couldnt wait to get home. For example this valentines i went out bought him a small bag of sweets on my lunchbreak and got him a card i spent ages choosing. nothing soppy, just an in joke. He didnt even get me a card. which to say the least i was a bit pissed about, id told him that i was looking forward to spending valentines together as id never had a valentine before, and he didnt believe me, but i still havent ever had a valentines card - apart from my parents. The banner from the Saints game they went to see at Wembley is still on the wall, so is the little toy she gave him from the olympics when she visited last year. and more annoying half the songs on his ipod were downloaded by her and everytime one comes on i.e. Wicked Game by Chris Isaack my boyfriend seems go all tense and just skip it. he later told me it was 'their' song. ive had really good relationships in the past that ended for mutual reasons and ive never really felt like this before. Its not as if they even talk anymore, shes engaged to marry someone and seems very happy. So I dont know whether I should feel so jealous about his ex. But truly i feel 100% second best. He used to make an effort at valentines for her, he used to buy her gifts on the holidays and he used to take her out. Please, dont get me wrong, I love him as he is now, but i feel jealous as if she had the best of him, and hes just desperate enough for company that hell settle for me. I really dont know how to get rid of this feeling. Should I ride it out and let it eat away at me or should i tell him its upsetting me? hes a bit of a mans man and he loathes talking about anything, and i dont want to make a mountain out of a molehill. But I honestly feel like he could make more of an effort if he tried, because clearly its not beyond him if he has done it before. Sorry if this is a tad long, I guess I needed to rant a bit to get it out my system.
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